Act 2 Scene 1 Flashcards
(26 cards)
Pearl: What the… Well, I’ll be. Henry’s been out here listening to that right-wing idiot and run down the battery again.
pg. 47
Vera: Well, Joshua, Judges, and Ruth. I threatened Virgil with things out of the Bible if he got near that car and here I am on foot on the most important day of the year. Well, I’m not walking in this heat, this hair will never hold up. Oh, look at Pearl Burras over there making shade.
Pearl: My God. Well, there she is. Vera Carp. Standing out in this heat like a roadrunner looking for a lizard.
pg. 47
Vera: I’d rather vote for Hillary Clinton than ask her for a ride. Hello, Pearl. (waves)
Pearl: Hi, Vera. (waves)
pg. 47
Both: (simultaneously) Could I bother you for a ride?
Vera: I’ll be right over
Pearl: What?
pg. 47
Vera: You wouldn’t mind giving me a lift to my coronation, would you?
Pearl: I was going to ask you. My car won’t start.
pg. 47
Vera: Virgil took off in the Riviera. I hope he’s enjoying his last few minutes of freedom. I know what. We can take Lupe’s old wagon if you can handle a stick-shift.
Pearl: Oh I grew up on one.
pg. 48
Vera: Hurry up Pearl. What’re you waiting for?
Pearl: Where are the keys?
pg. 48
Vera: What?
Pearl: (repeating) Where are the keys?
pg. 48
Vera: Isn’t that just like Lupe to not leave the keys in the car?
Pearl: Get in, Vera. I’ll hot wire it.
pg. 48
Vera: What?
Pearl: Let me look at this ignition.
pg. 48
Vera: Where did you learn to hot wire cars, Pearl?
Pearl: Henry and I broke down at a prison rodeo one time. You meet the nicest people there. Here, Vera, you hold these two wires together when I tell you to. All right, Vera, give it a try. Give her some gas. (car starts and Vera gets in back seat) Why are you sitting in the back seat?
pg. 48
Vera: I’m not getting this hairdo destroyed by an air bag. Hurry up, Pearl. What are you waiting for?
Pearl: I’m going to take out my hearing aid so I can stand to be in the same small space with you.
pg. 48
Vera: Don’t you think you should adjust the rear view mirror?
Pearl: What?
pg. 49
Vera: (loudly) Don’t you think you should adjust the rear view mirror?
Pearl: No. That thing just throws me off balance. Now, it’s been a while since I’ve driven standard, but it should be as easy as driving off a cliff.
pg. 49
Vera: Oh God, that’s not how I would have put it. Our Father, who art in Heaven…
Pearl: What?
pg. 49
Vera: Hallowed be Thy name…
Pearl: What about Halloween?
pg. 49
Vera: Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in… (screams) STOP SIGN! (Pearl slams on brakes. Vera resumes prayer) Give us this day our daily… BREAD TRUCK! (Pearl slams on brakes again)
Pearl: Why, that fool nearly hit me!
49
Vera: “Still all my songs shall be Nearer my God to Thee…” (car honks) Oh, my God, it’s Virgil! Look out, Pearl!
Pearl: Hang on, Vera. (car screeches to stop) That son of yours nearly killed us. I’ll never find my partial plate.
49
Vera: Oh, you’re all right. What do you need teeth for? (surveys damage) Oh, Lupe is gonna come apart like a cheat pinata when she sees what you’ve done to her car. (getting back in car) Well, I hope you’re satisfied. Thanks to you, I’m going to miss my coronation.
49-50
Pearl: What about carnations?
50
Vera: Oh, put in your hearing aid. You sound like something out of Isaiah.
Pearl: I’m going to put my hearing aid in so I can hear the sound of your bones crushing when I get a hold of you.
50
Vera: Oh, please. You can’t even make jello without help.
Pearl: You’re right off the Discovery channel, you know that, Vera? A real night feeder.
50
Vera: You take that back.
Pearl: All right, I take that back. You’re a bottom feeder.
50
Vera: Well, I’d say something ugly, but God has punished you enough already.
Pearl: By God, Vera, I’m going to show you what happened to the Comanche.
50
Vera: (looks at watch) Oh my God, it’s time for the coronation. Turn on the radio, quick.
Voice of Thurston: Well folks, we have this just in to the news room. Tuna’s own Reunion Queen has just been crowned. And folks, you’re not going to believe it. In an upset write-in victory, the new Reunion Queen is Joe Bob Lipsey.
50
Vera: WHAT!?
