Flashcards in Chapter Eight Deck (42):
The degree to which we feel safe, supported, and understood in a relationship. Also referred to as relationship climate or communication climate.
Confirming or supportive climate
A positive relational climate based on mutual trust, respect, and support.
Disconfirming or defensive climate
A negative relational climate, characterized y defensiveness, negative judgments, and mistrust.
When an individual has developed a complete sense of who she is and what her strengths are, and routinely acts in a way that is consistent with that.
Levels of Confirmation
Level One- Recognizing another person's existence.
Level Two- Acknowledging thoughts, feelings, or actions.
Level Three- Endorsement.
Verbal and nonverbal behaviour signalling that we notice a person.
Verbal or nonverbal behaviour acknowledging a person's thoughts, feelings, or actions.
Accepting a person's thoughts or feelings as valid.
Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
Worry that others may be having positive experiences that you are missing out on.
Steps to Complete Listening
Internal Barriers to Listening
External Barriers to Listening
Stress, anxiety, anger, or any other emotion that interferes with our ability to focus our full attention on the speaker.
Solution- Mindfulness or self-talk
Interpretation of an event in the context of our individual belief system, expectations, needs and past experiences.
Internal thoughts that reinforce our interpretation of an activating event.
Something that is on our mind (a cognition) that we're having trouble putting aside in order to focus on the speaker's message.
Solution- Use self-talk or compartmentalization, or consider delaying the conversation if possible.
Mentally "filing away" our own issues temporarily.
When we stop listening to a message before the speaker is finished, either because we think we know what the speaker is going to say, or because we have already formed an opinion about the speaker or the message.
Solution- Be aware of stereotypes and hot-button issues; use self-talk to overcome them.
A generalization about a group of people that assumes that members of the group share common characteristics.
Ingroup- Favouring others with whom we identify over those whom we perceive as different.
Outgroup- Downgrading others who are different or not in your group.
The conscious knowledge you have about your motivations, beliefs, expectations, values, strengths, and weaknesses.
Solution- Eliminate the distraction, or change environments.
Interferes with our listening when we try to process too much information.
Solution- Take breaks; mentally review.
The message itself is too complicated to absorb without turning your focus inward, and thus away from the speaker for a time.
Solution- Take notes; ask questions to clarify.
Counterfeit Listening Styles
Behaviours that, on the surface, may like listening, but are actually counterproductive to good listening.
Pseudolistening, Selective Listening, Defensive Listening, Stagehogging.
Giving only the impression of listening by nonverbal behaviours such as nodding, keeping eye contact, and verbal prompts.
When we screen a message for certain topics or issues, and then either respond only to those aspects of the message or tune those parts out.
We perceive criticism when none is intended.
When someone is talking to us, we use something the speaker says as an opening to jump in wit a story of our own.
Authentic/Active Listening Styles
Advising, Evaluating, Analyzing, Questioning, Minimally Encouraging, Supporting, Paraphrasing.
Helpful Listening Styles
Controversial listening Styles
Listening attentively, using verbal and nonverbal responses.
A listening response that offers advice.
A response that makes a judgment about the person or situation.
To offer a different perspective on the issue.
Asking a question geared toward either clarifying your understanding of the speaker, or helping him or her work through the issue.
Encouraging the speaker to continue by giving short and unintrusive response both verbally and nonverbally.
Saying something intended to validate the speaker's thoughts or feelings, let the speaker know that you understand what he is thinking or feeling, or express support and concern for him as a person.
A listening response that reflects what the speaker is feeling and thinking, expressed tentatively.
Emphasis on status and competence.
Listening strategies- problem-solving, giving advice.