LECUTRE 8: RELATIONAL MAINTENANCE

Question 1

Relational Maintenance

Answer 1

• Keeping relationship going & satisfied

Question 2

Relational Maintenance refers to what part of the relational pyramid?

Answer 2

Integrating > bonding > Differentiating > circumscribing

Question 3

7 Relational Maintenance Strategies

Answer 3

Positivity 
Openness
Assurances
Social Networks 
Sharing Tasks
Conflict Management 
Joint Activities

Question 4

Relational Maintenance Strategies: Positivity

Answer 4

Refers to the kinds of behaviors that we engage in that let’s our partner know we’re excited/happy etc. to see them/be around them

Question 5

Positivity has a ____ correlation with high relational satisfaction

Answer 5

STRONG

Question 6

Relational Maintenance Strategies: Openness

Answer 6

Basically self-disclosure

Sharing what you’re thinking/feeling about life with your partner

Question 7

Openness has a _____ relationship with satisfaction

Answer 7

Curvilinear

Question 8

Relational Maintenance Strategies: Assurances

Answer 8

The things we say/do that communicate to our partners that we are not going anywhere
- Communicating that we’re committed

Question 9

Assurances has a _____ _____ correlation relational commitment

Answer 9

Strong POSITIVE

Question 10

Relational Maintenance Strategies: Social Networks

Answer 10

Willing to invest and spend time with your partner’s social networks

Question 11

Relational Maintenance Strategies: Sharing Tasks

Answer 11

Willing to help people out when needed, like favors

Question 12

Relational Maintenance Strategies: Conflict Management

Answer 12

Willing to engage in the conflict

Try to work out the conflict in the best way possible

Question 13

Relational Maintenance Strategies: Joint Activities

Answer 13

Doing/spending time together

Question 14

Primary Love STYLES (2)

Answer 14

Passionate

Companionate

Question 15

Passionate Love

Answer 15

State of extreme absorption
Intense feelings all over
Usually comes on quickly….but also can fade just as fast

Question 16

Companionate Love

Answer 16

Friendly/deep affect
Less intense
Endures after passion evaporates

Question 17

Primary Love TYPES (3)

Answer 17

Eros
Storge
Ludus

Question 18

Eros

Answer 18

Similar to passionate love
Tend to have > relational satisfaction
- Passion, Chemistry, Excitement

Question 19

Storge

Answer 19

Friendship Love
Compatibility
Can be boring

Question 20

Ludus

Answer 20

Those who enjoy the chase over the conquest

Game players

Question 21

Secondary Love TYPES (3)

Answer 21

Mania
Agape
Pragma

Question 22

Mania

Answer 22

Eros + Ludus

• High passion and game playing put together
• Think of a roller coaster
• A lot of distrust
• High degree of jealousy/possessiveness

Question 23

Agape

Answer 23

Storge & Eros

• Unconditional Love
• Agape love = Jesus love (1 Corinthians 13)
• Putting other’s love before your own
• Can be bad –> pedestal effect

Question 24

Pragma

Answer 24

Storge & Ludus

• Thought out on what you want
• Thing of the checklist in Ugly Truth
• High degree of companionability
• Can be boring if no sign passion is on the list

Question 25

Relational Dialectics Theory

Answer 25

- The concept of contradiction - Things exist in opposition - Tensions exist in our relationships pulling us apart

Question 26

Dialectics (Tensions) (3)

Answer 26

Autonomy > Togetherness Novelty > Predictability Expressive > Protective

Question 27

Autonomy vs. Togetherness

Answer 27

Autonomy = sense of self Togetherness = everything you do, you do as a couple You and your partner = in different places --> Must negotiate

Question 28

Novelty

Answer 28

Everything is new Don't know what'll happen next Behaving differently than you're used to

Question 29

Two ways you can RESPOND to dialectical tensions (don't always work)

Answer 29

Destructively | Constructively

Question 30

Responding DESTRUCTIVELY to dialectical tensions

Answer 30

Denial | Disorientation

Question 31

Destructive response to dialectical tensions: Denial

Answer 31

The inability to see that there is a problem present | Ignoring the issue

Question 32

Destructive response to dialectical tensions: Disorientation

Answer 32

Freaking the fuck out Lashing out Fleeing the relationship Incapable of dealing with the issue

Question 33

Responding CONSTRUCTIVELY to dialectical tensions

Answer 33

Spiraling Alteration Segmentation Balance - All suggest how we are willing to make the relationship work

Question 34

Constructive response to dialectical tensions: Spiraling Alteration

Answer 34

Moving back and forth between autonomy and togetherness as a way to keep the relationship going

Question 35

Constructive response to dialectical tensions: Segmentation

Answer 35

Compartmentalizing the relationship | Carve out things in the relationship to meet needs

Question 36

Constructive response to dialectical tensions: Balance

Answer 36

How do we find our happy place? | What do we need to do & how do we adjust?