Flashcards in You are... Deck (53):
You always do this!
Feelings: Frustrated, despair
Needs: Choice, security, trust
You always interrupt me!
Feelings: resentful, irritated
Needs: acknowledgement, respect, to be heard
You are always grumpy or upset about something
Feelings: frustrated, disconnected, dejected, bored
Needs: celebration, play, fun, intimacy, love, humor
You are being crazy
Feelings: frustrated, confused, angry,
Needs: peace, clarity, ease, collaboration, groundedness
You are being so critical!
Feelings: pain, anger, hurt
Needs: understanding, recognition, compassion, connection
You are lazy.
Feelings: Impatient, irritated
Needs: Support, mutuality
You are punishing me
Feelings: pain, hurt, anger, desperation
Needs: compassion, to be seen & heard, healing, connection, clarity
You are seeking outside of yourself.
Feelings: Impatience, frustration
Needs: Self-reliance, independence, autonomy
You are so insensitive!
Feelings: hurt, shock, disturbed,
Needs: consideration, warmth, mutuality
You are so selfish
Feelings: angry, hurt
Needs: mutuality, consideration, caring
You are such a bitch
Feelings: angry, hurt, scared
Needs: respect, consideration, empathy
You aren't good enough to succeed, sorry.
Feelings: Disappointed, dejected
Needs: Competence, reassurance
You ask too many questions
Feelings: diconnected, defensive, vulnerable
Needs: connection, acceptance, empathy, privacy
You better have a good explanation for this!
Feelings: Alarmed, worried
Needs: Understanding, serenity
You can't even sweep the floor right.
Feelings: Furious, impatient
Needs: Competence, cooperation
You cannot be relied upon.
Feelings: Disappointed, confused
Needs: Security, consistency
Feelings: hopelessness, anger, hurt, impatience
Needs: mutuality, collaboration, communication,
You did this to yourself.
Feelings: disconnected, guilt, frustrated, anguish
Needs: mutual responsibility, competence, preservation of life
you don't have the courtesy to
Feelings: hurt, shock, indignation
Needs: consideration, care, respect
You don't have to understand everything I say
Feelings: tense, worried, hopeless
Needs: compassion, ease, harmony
You don't know how to take care of yourself.
Feelings: Worried, frustrated
Needs: Preservation of life, reassurance
you don\'t listen to me
Feelings: frustrated, disheartened, lonely
Needs: to be heard, acknowledgment, respect
you don\'t seem to hear what I say
Feelings: exasperated, puzzled, disturbed
Needs: connection, clarity, to be heard, acknowledgment
you don\'t take any of my ideas
Feelings: irritation, discouraged, sad
Needs: inclusion, respect, participation, mutuality
You have to see deeply.
Feelings: Impatient, concerned
Needs: Competency, growth, learning
you lied to me
Feelings: anger, shock, hurt, fear, disappointment, grief
Needs: honesty, trust, security
You need to be less sensitive and stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Feelings: uncomfortable, overwhelmed
Needs: ease, clarity
You need to clarify what you want in life.
Feelings: Confused, overwhelmed
Needs: Clarity, safety
You never help out
Feelings: resentful, irritated, disappointed, lonely, overwhelmed
Needs: mutuality, collaboration, partnership, companionship, support
You never learned to listen because your whole family never listens
Feelings: impatient, annoyed
Needs: competence, to be heard
You never listen!
Feelings: angry, frustrated, lonely, grief
Needs: to be heard, intimacy, empathy, companionship
You should be over this by now.
Feelings: Impatient, overwhelmed
Needs: Efficiency, ease, harmony
You should just commit.
Feelings: concerned, anxious
Needs: predictability, responsibility, trust
You shouldn’t feel angry.
Feelings: Frustration, anguish
Needs: Connection, acceptance
you took it upon yourself to
Feelings: resentment, bitterness, disappointment
Needs: consideration, collaboration, choice, participation
You used to touch me. Now you don't hug me or touch me and you recoil when I try to hug you and be close to you.
Feelings: afraid, lonely, confused, hurt
Needs: clarity, connection, acceptance, affection
You were a good daughter the first day or two, now you are only showing the worst sides of yourself, I can only be sad and disappointed in you.
Feelings: sad, dissappointed, confused
Needs: clarity, understanding, harmony
You were wrong not to tell me about the broken dishes.
Feelings: Anger, disappointment
Needs: Honesty, respect
You will keep the house clean and the way I want it or I'm not living here.
Feelings: Angry, disappointed
Needs: Cleanliness, support
You withdraw when you are upset because you are trying to punish me.
Feelings: Resentful, afraid
Needs: Connection, security, safety
You're a child molester.
Feelings: horror, fear, grief, shock
Needs: respect, safety, peace, healing
You're afraid to take risks.
Feelings: downhearted, hopeless, worry
Needs: purpose, stimulation, contribution
You're just jealous.
Feelings: defensive, hurt, disheartened
Needs: acknowledgment, harmony, acceptance
You're not being generous enough.
Feelings: Disappointment, guilt
Needs: Contribution, effectiveness
You're not getting me right now
Feelings: disheartened, discouraged, frustrated
Needs: to be heard & seen, mutuality, collaboration
You're not hearing me!
Feelings: frustrated, lonely
Needs: to be heard/seen, empathy, connection
You're pissing me off!
Feelings: anger, frustration
Needs: understanding, cooperation
You're psychoanalyzing me and my life
Feelings: angry, disconnected, defensive
Needs: respect, privacy, autonomy, consideration
Feelings: nervous, confused, frightened, angry
Needs: compassion, clarity, predictability
You're so arrogant (full of yourself, know it all, egotistical)
Feelings: frustrated, hurt, angry
Needs: consideration, to be seen/heard, mutuality
You're such a control freak.
Feelings: Stressed, frustrated
Needs: Autonomy, respect,
Your problem is that you won't tell me what you want.
Feelings: Sad, impatient
Needs: Bonding, connection