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Flashcards in You are... Deck (53):
1

You always do this!

Feelings: Frustrated, despair
Needs: Choice, security, trust

2

You always interrupt me!

Feelings: resentful, irritated
Needs: acknowledgement, respect, to be heard

3

You are always grumpy or upset about something

Feelings: frustrated, disconnected, dejected, bored
Needs: celebration, play, fun, intimacy, love, humor

4

You are being crazy

Feelings: frustrated, confused, angry,
Needs: peace, clarity, ease, collaboration, groundedness

5

You are being so critical!

Feelings: pain, anger, hurt
Needs: understanding, recognition, compassion, connection

6

You are lazy.

Feelings: Impatient, irritated
Needs: Support, mutuality

7

You are punishing me

Feelings: pain, hurt, anger, desperation
Needs: compassion, to be seen & heard, healing, connection, clarity

8

You are seeking outside of yourself.

Feelings: Impatience, frustration
Needs: Self-reliance, independence, autonomy

9

You are so insensitive!

Feelings: hurt, shock, disturbed,
Needs: consideration, warmth, mutuality

10

You are so selfish

Feelings: angry, hurt
Needs: mutuality, consideration, caring

11

You are such a bitch

Feelings: angry, hurt, scared
Needs: respect, consideration, empathy

12

You aren't good enough to succeed, sorry.

Feelings: Disappointed, dejected
Needs: Competence, reassurance

13

You ask too many questions

Feelings: diconnected, defensive, vulnerable
Needs: connection, acceptance, empathy, privacy

14

You better have a good explanation for this!

Feelings: Alarmed, worried
Needs: Understanding, serenity

15

You can't even sweep the floor right.

Feelings: Furious, impatient
Needs: Competence, cooperation

16

You cannot be relied upon.

Feelings: Disappointed, confused
Needs: Security, consistency

17

You decide!

Feelings: hopelessness, anger, hurt, impatience
Needs: mutuality, collaboration, communication,

18

You did this to yourself.

Feelings: disconnected, guilt, frustrated, anguish
Needs: mutual responsibility, competence, preservation of life

19

you don't have the courtesy to

Feelings: hurt, shock, indignation
Needs: consideration, care, respect

20

You don't have to understand everything I say

Feelings: tense, worried, hopeless
Needs: compassion, ease, harmony

21

You don't know how to take care of yourself.

Feelings: Worried, frustrated
Needs: Preservation of life, reassurance

22

you don\'t listen to me

Feelings: frustrated, disheartened, lonely
Needs: to be heard, acknowledgment, respect

23

you don\'t seem to hear what I say

Feelings: exasperated, puzzled, disturbed
Needs: connection, clarity, to be heard, acknowledgment

24

you don\'t take any of my ideas

Feelings: irritation, discouraged, sad
Needs: inclusion, respect, participation, mutuality

25

You have to see deeply.

Feelings: Impatient, concerned
Needs: Competency, growth, learning

26

you lied to me

Feelings: anger, shock, hurt, fear, disappointment, grief
Needs: honesty, trust, security

27

You need to be less sensitive and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Feelings: uncomfortable, overwhelmed
Needs: ease, clarity

28

You need to clarify what you want in life.

Feelings: Confused, overwhelmed
Needs: Clarity, safety

29

You never help out

Feelings: resentful, irritated, disappointed, lonely, overwhelmed
Needs: mutuality, collaboration, partnership, companionship, support

30

You never learned to listen because your whole family never listens

Feelings: impatient, annoyed
Needs: competence, to be heard

31

You never listen!

Feelings: angry, frustrated, lonely, grief
Needs: to be heard, intimacy, empathy, companionship

32

You should be over this by now.

Feelings: Impatient, overwhelmed
Needs: Efficiency, ease, harmony

33

You should just commit.

Feelings: concerned, anxious
Needs: predictability, responsibility, trust

34

You shouldn’t feel angry.

Feelings: Frustration, anguish
Needs: Connection, acceptance

35

you took it upon yourself to

Feelings: resentment, bitterness, disappointment
Needs: consideration, collaboration, choice, participation

36

You used to touch me. Now you don't hug me or touch me and you recoil when I try to hug you and be close to you.

Feelings: afraid, lonely, confused, hurt
Needs: clarity, connection, acceptance, affection

37

You were a good daughter the first day or two, now you are only showing the worst sides of yourself, I can only be sad and disappointed in you.

Feelings: sad, dissappointed, confused
Needs: clarity, understanding, harmony

38

You were wrong not to tell me about the broken dishes.

Feelings: Anger, disappointment
Needs: Honesty, respect

39

You will keep the house clean and the way I want it or I'm not living here.

Feelings: Angry, disappointed
Needs: Cleanliness, support

40

You withdraw when you are upset because you are trying to punish me.

Feelings: Resentful, afraid
Needs: Connection, security, safety

41

You're a child molester.

Feelings: horror, fear, grief, shock
Needs: respect, safety, peace, healing

42

You're afraid to take risks.

Feelings: downhearted, hopeless, worry
Needs: purpose, stimulation, contribution

43

You're just jealous.

Feelings: defensive, hurt, disheartened
Needs: acknowledgment, harmony, acceptance

44

You're not being generous enough.

Feelings: Disappointment, guilt
Needs: Contribution, effectiveness

45

You're not getting me right now

Feelings: disheartened, discouraged, frustrated
Needs: to be heard & seen, mutuality, collaboration

46

You're not hearing me!

Feelings: frustrated, lonely
Needs: to be heard/seen, empathy, connection

47

You're pissing me off!

Feelings: anger, frustration
Needs: understanding, cooperation

48

You're psychoanalyzing me and my life

Feelings: angry, disconnected, defensive
Needs: respect, privacy, autonomy, consideration

49

You're psychotic

Feelings: nervous, confused, frightened, angry
Needs: compassion, clarity, predictability

50

You're so arrogant (full of yourself, know it all, egotistical)

Feelings: frustrated, hurt, angry
Needs: consideration, to be seen/heard, mutuality

51

You're such a control freak.

Feelings: Stressed, frustrated
Needs: Autonomy, respect,

52

Your problem is that you won't tell me what you want.

Feelings: Sad, impatient
Needs: Bonding, connection

53

Your room is such a disgusting mess, I should just throw everything in the trash.

Feelings: disappointed, frustrated, worried
Needs: order, responsibility, collaboration, appreciation