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Flashcards in You are... Deck (53)
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1
Q

You always do this!

A

Feelings: Frustrated, despair
Needs: Choice, security, trust

2
Q

You always interrupt me!

A

Feelings: resentful, irritated
Needs: acknowledgement, respect, to be heard

3
Q

You are always grumpy or upset about something

A

Feelings: frustrated, disconnected, dejected, bored
Needs: celebration, play, fun, intimacy, love, humor

4
Q

You are being crazy

A

Feelings: frustrated, confused, angry,
Needs: peace, clarity, ease, collaboration, groundedness

5
Q

You are being so critical!

A

Feelings: pain, anger, hurt
Needs: understanding, recognition, compassion, connection

6
Q

You are lazy.

A

Feelings: Impatient, irritated
Needs: Support, mutuality

7
Q

You are punishing me

A

Feelings: pain, hurt, anger, desperation
Needs: compassion, to be seen & heard, healing, connection, clarity

8
Q

You are seeking outside of yourself.

A

Feelings: Impatience, frustration
Needs: Self-reliance, independence, autonomy

9
Q

You are so insensitive!

A

Feelings: hurt, shock, disturbed,
Needs: consideration, warmth, mutuality

10
Q

You are so selfish

A

Feelings: angry, hurt
Needs: mutuality, consideration, caring

11
Q

You are such a bitch

A

Feelings: angry, hurt, scared
Needs: respect, consideration, empathy

12
Q

You aren’t good enough to succeed, sorry.

A

Feelings: Disappointed, dejected
Needs: Competence, reassurance

13
Q

You ask too many questions

A

Feelings: diconnected, defensive, vulnerable
Needs: connection, acceptance, empathy, privacy

14
Q

You better have a good explanation for this!

A

Feelings: Alarmed, worried
Needs: Understanding, serenity

15
Q

You can’t even sweep the floor right.

A

Feelings: Furious, impatient
Needs: Competence, cooperation

16
Q

You cannot be relied upon.

A

Feelings: Disappointed, confused
Needs: Security, consistency

17
Q

You decide!

A

Feelings: hopelessness, anger, hurt, impatience
Needs: mutuality, collaboration, communication,

18
Q

You did this to yourself.

A

Feelings: disconnected, guilt, frustrated, anguish
Needs: mutual responsibility, competence, preservation of life

19
Q

you don’t have the courtesy to

A

Feelings: hurt, shock, indignation
Needs: consideration, care, respect

20
Q

You don’t have to understand everything I say

A

Feelings: tense, worried, hopeless
Needs: compassion, ease, harmony

21
Q

You don’t know how to take care of yourself.

A

Feelings: Worried, frustrated
Needs: Preservation of life, reassurance

22
Q

you don't listen to me

A

Feelings: frustrated, disheartened, lonely
Needs: to be heard, acknowledgment, respect

23
Q

you don't seem to hear what I say

A

Feelings: exasperated, puzzled, disturbed
Needs: connection, clarity, to be heard, acknowledgment

24
Q

you don't take any of my ideas

A

Feelings: irritation, discouraged, sad
Needs: inclusion, respect, participation, mutuality

25
Q

You have to see deeply.

A

Feelings: Impatient, concerned
Needs: Competency, growth, learning

26
Q

you lied to me

A

Feelings: anger, shock, hurt, fear, disappointment, grief
Needs: honesty, trust, security

27
Q

You need to be less sensitive and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

A

Feelings: uncomfortable, overwhelmed
Needs: ease, clarity

28
Q

You need to clarify what you want in life.

A

Feelings: Confused, overwhelmed
Needs: Clarity, safety

29
Q

You never help out

A

Feelings: resentful, irritated, disappointed, lonely, overwhelmed
Needs: mutuality, collaboration, partnership, companionship, support

30
Q

You never learned to listen because your whole family never listens

A

Feelings: impatient, annoyed
Needs: competence, to be heard

31
Q

You never listen!

A

Feelings: angry, frustrated, lonely, grief
Needs: to be heard, intimacy, empathy, companionship

32
Q

You should be over this by now.

A

Feelings: Impatient, overwhelmed
Needs: Efficiency, ease, harmony

33
Q

You should just commit.

A

Feelings: concerned, anxious
Needs: predictability, responsibility, trust

34
Q

You shouldn’t feel angry.

A

Feelings: Frustration, anguish
Needs: Connection, acceptance

35
Q

you took it upon yourself to

A

Feelings: resentment, bitterness, disappointment
Needs: consideration, collaboration, choice, participation

36
Q

You used to touch me. Now you don’t hug me or touch me and you recoil when I try to hug you and be close to you.

A

Feelings: afraid, lonely, confused, hurt
Needs: clarity, connection, acceptance, affection

37
Q

You were a good daughter the first day or two, now you are only showing the worst sides of yourself, I can only be sad and disappointed in you.

A

Feelings: sad, dissappointed, confused
Needs: clarity, understanding, harmony

38
Q

You were wrong not to tell me about the broken dishes.

A

Feelings: Anger, disappointment
Needs: Honesty, respect

39
Q

You will keep the house clean and the way I want it or I’m not living here.

A

Feelings: Angry, disappointed
Needs: Cleanliness, support

40
Q

You withdraw when you are upset because you are trying to punish me.

A

Feelings: Resentful, afraid
Needs: Connection, security, safety

41
Q

You’re a child molester.

A

Feelings: horror, fear, grief, shock
Needs: respect, safety, peace, healing

42
Q

You’re afraid to take risks.

A

Feelings: downhearted, hopeless, worry
Needs: purpose, stimulation, contribution

43
Q

You’re just jealous.

A

Feelings: defensive, hurt, disheartened
Needs: acknowledgment, harmony, acceptance

44
Q

You’re not being generous enough.

A

Feelings: Disappointment, guilt
Needs: Contribution, effectiveness

45
Q

You’re not getting me right now

A

Feelings: disheartened, discouraged, frustrated
Needs: to be heard & seen, mutuality, collaboration

46
Q

You’re not hearing me!

A

Feelings: frustrated, lonely
Needs: to be heard/seen, empathy, connection

47
Q

You’re pissing me off!

A

Feelings: anger, frustration
Needs: understanding, cooperation

48
Q

You’re psychoanalyzing me and my life

A

Feelings: angry, disconnected, defensive
Needs: respect, privacy, autonomy, consideration

49
Q

You’re psychotic

A

Feelings: nervous, confused, frightened, angry
Needs: compassion, clarity, predictability

50
Q

You’re so arrogant (full of yourself, know it all, egotistical)

A

Feelings: frustrated, hurt, angry
Needs: consideration, to be seen/heard, mutuality

51
Q

You’re such a control freak.

A

Feelings: Stressed, frustrated
Needs: Autonomy, respect,

52
Q

Your problem is that you won’t tell me what you want.

A

Feelings: Sad, impatient
Needs: Bonding, connection

53
Q

Your room is such a disgusting mess, I should just throw everything in the trash.

A

Feelings: disappointed, frustrated, worried
Needs: order, responsibility, collaboration, appreciation