Consent Flashcards
1)
Kitty: God, it’s hot out there.
Edward: Where were you?
Kitty: With Michelle.
Edward: I called you.
Kitty: Oh, it was on silent. Was it anything important?
2)
Beat.
Edward
The bedroom smells funny.
Kitty
Does it?
Beat.
What of?
Edward
Football boots.
Kitty
I told you that. Months ago. You said I was imagining it.
Edward
There’s a smudge on the wall. By the headboard.
3) kitty: is there
Kitty
Is there?
Edward
Or a stain.
Kitty
Maybe it’s a poltergeist.
Beat.
Edward
Why have you been calling Tim?
Beat. (Hmpf, funny)
Kitty
I haven’t been calling him.
Edward
Really?
4)
Kitty
Yes.
Edward
I called Tim this afternoon. He didn’t answer.
Beat.
Why don’t we see if he answers your call?
Call him.
Kitty
What?
Pause.
Edward
Okay, I’ll call him.
He takes out his mobile phone, selects a number.
Waits.
Terminates the call.
Now you call him.
Kitty
No.
Edward
Why not?
5)
Kitty
Because he’s going to think it’s fucking weird. You’re being fucking weird.
Pause.
Kitty silently selects the number off her phone.
Waits.
Someone picks up at the other end.
Hi, Tim. It’s Kitty.
Beat. She laughs.
Yeah, I know, sorry to bother you.
I’m just ringing because Ed thinks I’m having an affair with you.
Pause. She laughs.
Well, sorry about that.
Enjoy the cricket.
Okay. Take care.
Bye.
She terminates the call.
Edward and Kitty stare at each other.
Edward
It’s him, isn’t it.
Kitty
What are you talking about? You’re being a prat.
Edward
It’s him.
Beat.
I looked at your phone. It’s empty. No texts, no call records.
Kitty
I decluttered it.
Beat.
There’s a lot of wine left open from the other night. We should throw it away.
Edward
I haven’t cheated on you for five years.
6)
Kitty
Congratulations. What anniversary is that? Ruby? Oh no, I forgot, it’s tin.
Edward
I’m guilty or guilty. Either I’ve been cheating on you and I deserve punishment or I cheated on you five years ago and deserve punishment.
Beat.
Kitty
Can we just run this by ourselves? I’ve known Tim for nearly ten years. I’ve never fancied him. He’s been single all this time. Why would I start having an affair with him now, when he’s with Zara –
Edward
‘Why would I do it, I’d be risking everything, it doesn’t make sense.’ Because he saw his chance and he fucking took it.
Kitty
Fuck you, Ed. Stop being fucking poisonous.
Edward
Yeah. That’s a really good one. The power of being offended. It’s sort of unanswerable. Own up to your fucking feelings. You’re bored. You don’t want to have sex with me any more.
7)
Kitty
I split myself in two for you and that fucking baby, don’t ever try and guilt trip me –
Edward
Pause.
When did you start sleeping with your back to me?
Why won’t you ever face me, in bed?
If you’re doing this to hurt me, I don’t get why you’re lying?
Silence.
I don’t believe this. He’s one of those boring men. I don’t know where they make them but there must be a factory somewhere. Near fucking Norwich.
I mean, why??
When?
When I was in New York?
For fuck’s sake, spit it out.
Kitty
When do you think I would have had time? Why would I want to do it? Where would we have done it?
Edward
Look at you. Finding all these arguments. You wanted to do it so you did it.
Kitty
All right!!
How about I wanted you to understand how it felt.
Pause.
8)
Edward
Are you serious? You did it to punish me? Five years late?
Kitty
(quietly)Yes.
Beat.
Edward
No. If you’re punishing me, why didn’t you tell me?
Pause.
Kitty
Because I felt guilty!
Edward
Why?
Beat
You’re not in love with him, are you?
Beat.
Christ.
I want to be sick.
He bends over, breathes heavily.
He starts to cry.
Kitty
I’m sorry.
