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Sgt Test Flashcards > Dare To Lead > Flashcards

Dare To Lead Flashcards

1
Q

Define a leader.

A

Anyone who takes RESPONSIBILITY for finding POTENTIAL in people and processes, and who has the COURAGE to DEVELOP that potential

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2
Q

———— is the big barrier to almost everything we want in life, especially courage.

A

Vulnerability

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3
Q

You can’t get to ——— without rumbling with vulnerability.

A

Courage

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4
Q

A ——— is a discussion, conversation, or meeting defined by a commitment to lean into vulnerability, to stay curious and generous, to stick with the messy middle of problem identification and solving, to take a break and circle
back when necessary, to be fearless in owning our parts, as psychologists Harriet Lerner teaches, to listen with the same passion with which we want to be heard.
and, as psychologist Harriet Lerner teaches, to listen with
the same passion with which we want to be heard.

A

Rumble

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5
Q

Courage is a collection of what four skill sets that can be taught, observed, and measured.

A

Rumbling with VULNERABILITY
Living into our VALUES
Braving TRUST
Learning to RISE

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6
Q

The foundational skill of courage-building is the willingness and ability to rumble with ————-.

A

Vulnerability

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7
Q

What is the true underlying obstacle to brave leadership?

A

How we respond to fear

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8
Q

If we want people to fully show up, to bring their whole selves, their unarmored, whole hearts, so that we can innovate, solve problems and serve people, we have to ————.

A

Be vigilant about creating a culture in which people feel safe, seen, heard, and respected.

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9
Q

What is the definition of vulnerability?

A

The EMOTION that we experience during times of UNCERTAINTY, risk and emotional EXPOSURE.

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10
Q

Is vulnerability a weakness?

Yes/ no

A

No

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11
Q

Who should be on your square squad?

A

People who love you not despite your vulnerability and imperfections but because of them.

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12
Q

Choosing to own our vulnerability and do it consciously means learning how to ___________.

A

Learning how to rumble with this emotion and understand how it drives our thinking and behavior so we can stay aligned with our values and live in our integrity.

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13
Q

To grow to adulthood as a social species, including humans, is to ——-

A

Become the one on whom others can depend.

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14
Q

There’s probably not a single act at work that requires more vulnerability than ——-

A

Holding people accountable for ethics and values, especially when you’re alone in it and there’s a lot of money, power, or influence at stake.

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15
Q

What is the metaphor of the marble jar used for?

A

People who gain our trust

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16
Q

How is trust earned?

A

In small moments. Through paying attention, listening, and gestures of genuine care and connection.

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17
Q

What are the four horsemen of the apocalypse?

A

Criticism
Defensiveness
Stone walling
Contempt (most damning in romantic partnership)

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18
Q

How does a leader create what is called a safe container?

A

By asking the team what they need to feel open and safe in the conversation.

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19
Q

What is psychological safety?

A

Team members feeling safe to risk and be vulnerable in front of each other

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20
Q

What are somethings that get in the way of psychological safety?

A

Judgement
Unsolicited advise
Interrupting
Sharing outside the team meeting

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21
Q

What is stealth intention?

A

A self-protection need that lurks beneath the surface and often drives behavior outside of our values.

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22
Q

What is stealth expectation?

A

A desire or expectation that exists outside our awareness and typically includes a dangerous combination of fear and magical thinking.

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23
Q

Adaptability to change, hard conversations, feedback, problem solving, ethical decision making, recognition, resilience and all of the other skills that underpin daring leadership are born of ————.

A

Vulnerability

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24
Q

Clear is ———, unclear is ——

A

Kind, unkind

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25
Q

When having a hard conversation, it may be best to ——- unless it is a time sensitive, urgent issue.

A

Circle back

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26
Q

How is the ritual “permission slips” used in meetings?

A

They each write down one thing they gave themselves permission to do or feel.

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27
Q

What notes are taken down in the meeting minutes process?

A

Date
Meeting intention
Attendees
Key decisions
Tasks and ownership

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28
Q

What is the turn and learn process?

A

Everyone writes down estimated timelines on projects and priorities on a post it note and turns them over to show answers.

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29
Q

What is gritty faith and gritty facts?

A

You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end— which you can never afford to lose — with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality.

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30
Q

Leaders must either invest a reasonable amount of time attending to fears and feeling, or squander what?

A

An unreasonable amount of time trying to manage ineffective and unproductive behavior.

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31
Q

When rumbles become unproductive what should you do?

A

Call a timeout

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32
Q

We can’t do our jobs when we own other people’s emotions or take responsibility for them as a way to control the related behaviors, for what reason?

A

Other peoples emotions are not our jobs. We can’t both serve people and try to control their feelings.

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33
Q

What is “ engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think ,” no matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough.”

A

Wholeheartedness

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34
Q

What is the biggest threat to our ego and our sense of self worth?

A

Shame

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35
Q

What is shame?

A

The feeling that washes over us and makes us feel so flawed that we question weather we’re worthy of love, belonging and connection.

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36
Q

What is the antidote to shame?

A

Empathy

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37
Q

What were the top three forms of armor?

A

Perfectionism
Foreboding joy
Numbing

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38
Q

Why do we insist on dress rehearsing tragedy in moments of deep joy?

A

Because joy is the most vulnerable emotion we feel.

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39
Q

What is the one thing that people who can fully lean into joy have in common?

A

Gratitude

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40
Q

What can numbing agents lead too?

A

Addiction

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41
Q

What is the cure for numbing?

A

Developing tools and practices that allow you to lean into discomfort.

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42
Q

What are shadow comforts?

A

Numbing devices

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43
Q

What are three strategies for transforming from always knowing to always learning?

A

1) name the issue
2) make learning curiosity skills a priority
3) acknowledged and reward questions

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44
Q

What are the three antidotes to sarcasm and cynicism?

A

1) staying clear and kind
2) saying what you mean and mean what you say
3) if what’s under cynicism and sarcasm is despair, the antidote is cultivating hope

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45
Q

What is the belief that tomorrow will be just like today?

A

Despair

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46
Q

What are the two forms of criticism that are harder to recognize?

A

Nostalgia and invisible army

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47
Q

——— often arises from fear or feelings of unworthiness

A

Criticism

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48
Q

How does Martin Luther king jr describes power?

A

As the ability to achieve PURPOSE and effect CHANGE.

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49
Q

Once everyone understands their value, we stop hustling for worthiness and lean into our——.

A

Gifts

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50
Q

What is the accountability and success checklist? TASC

A

T- who owns the TASK
A- do they have the AUTHORITY to be held ACCOUNTABLE
S- do we agree they are set up for SUCCESS
C - do we have a CHECKLIST of what needs to happen

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51
Q

What helps shape our brain, foster empathy, helps us navigate complex social groups and is at the core of creativity and innovation?

A

Rest, play and recovery

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52
Q

What is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world?

A

True belonging

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53
Q

What is the greatest barrier to true belonging?

A

Fitting in and changing who we are so we can be accepted.

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54
Q

Rewarding others rather than —— — — —— is the only way to continue to grow within an organization and fully embody the mantle of daring leadership.

A

Seeking to be rewarded

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55
Q

Zigzagging is the metaphor for what?

A

The energy we spend trying to dodge the bullets of vulnerability

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56
Q

“Unwanted identity” is one of the primary elicitors of shame. What is unwanted identity?

A

Characteristics that undermine our vision of our ideal selves.

57
Q

What are the shame 1-2-3’s?

A

1) we all have it
2) we’re all afraid to talk about shame
3) the less we talk about shame, the more control it has over our lives

58
Q

The difference between shame and guilt is best understood as the difference between….

A

“I am bad” - shame and “I did something bad” - guilt

59
Q

When is the most common scenario that comes up that people feel shame?

A

When they were fired and how they were fired

60
Q

What is the most devastating sign of shame infestation?

A

A cover up

61
Q

What is the ability to practice authenticity when we experience shame, to move through the experience without sacrificing our values, and to come out on the other side of the shame experience with more courage, compassion and connection?

A

Shame resilience

62
Q

What are the five empathy skills?

A

1) to see the world as other see it
2) to be nonjudgmental
3) to understand another’s feelings
4) to communicate your understanding
5) mindfulness

63
Q

——- is feeling with people,——- is feeling for them.

A

Empathy, sympathy

64
Q

What are six empathetic misses?

A

1) Sympathy vs Empathy
2) The Gasp and Awe
3) The Mighty Fall
4) The Block and Tackle
5) The Boot and Shovel
6) If you think thats bad…

65
Q

What is enmeshment?

A

Jumping into a struggle with someone with no way out.

66
Q

What Empathy Miss is it when someone acts shocked and appalled when you share your shame with them.

A

The Gasp and Awe

67
Q

What Empathy Miss is it when someone’s response is, “I never expected that from you. When I think of you I don’t think of the kind of person to get a bad rating.”

A

The Mighty Fall

68
Q

What Empathy Miss is it when your share something shameful and some responds by blaming your shame on someone else.

A

The Block and Tackle

69
Q

What Empathy Miss is it when someone is hustling to make you feel better and not hearing anything you feel.

A

The Boots and Shovel

70
Q

What Empathy Miss is it when someone confuses connection with the opportunity to one-up.

A

If you think that’s bad…

71
Q

What are the three elements that make up practice?

A

Self-Kindness, Humanity, and Mindfulness

72
Q

What is Dr. Kristen Neff’s definition of kindness?

A

Being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism.

73
Q

What is Dr. Kristen Neff’s definition of common humanity?

A

Common humanity recognizes that suffering and personal inadequacy is part of the shared human experience - something that we all go through rather than being something that happens to ‘me’ alone.

74
Q

What is the most powerful connecting and trust building tool that we have?

A

Empathy

75
Q

What are the four elements of shame resilience?

A

1) Recognizing shame and Understanding Its Triggers
2) Practicing Critical Awareness
3) Reaching Out
4) Speaking Shame

76
Q

What are shame shields?

A

Strategies of disconnection
-moving away (withdraw)
-moving toward (pleasing)
-moving against (aggressive)

77
Q

—– —– is the messy process of learning and unlearning, practicing and failing, and surviving a few misses. It’s real, solid and built on self-awareness and practice.

A

Grounded confidence

78
Q

What is the fundamental skill of courage building?

A

Rumbling with vulnerability

79
Q

Why do leaders need grounded confidence when dealing with tough conversations, hard meetings, and emotionally charged decision making?

A

To stay tethered to their values, respond rather than react emotionally, and operate from self-awareness, not self-protection.

80
Q

The reality is that to be effective, learning needs to be _____.

A

Effortful

81
Q

____ learning does not build strong skills.

A

Easy

82
Q

Rumble Skills + Curiosity + Practice =

A

Grounded Confidence

83
Q

____ is an act of vulnerability and courage.

A

Curiosity

84
Q

Researchers are finding that _____ is correlated with creativity, intelligence, improved learning and memory, and problem solving.

A

Curiosity

85
Q

According to George Loewenstein, what is the feeling of deprivation we experience when we identify and focus on a gap in our knowledge?

A

Curiosity

86
Q

What is ‘priming the pump’ when inducing curiosity about a particular topc?

A

To use intriguing information to get folks interested so they become more curious.

87
Q

How does Brene Brown define values?

A

A value is a way of being or believing that we hold most important.

88
Q

What are three steps to live into your values?

A

1) Name your values
2) Taking values from BS to behavior
3) Empathy and self compassion

89
Q

We only have one set of values.
True/False

A

True

90
Q

Research participants who demonstrated the most willingness to rumble with vulnerability and practice courage tethered their behavior to how many values?

A

One or two

91
Q

What is it when you choose courage over comfort; its choosing what right over what’s fun, fast or easy; and it’s practicing your values, not just professing them.

A

Integrity

92
Q

Only ___% of organizations have operationalized their values into teachable and observable behaviors.

A

10%

93
Q

In the second step of Living Into Our Values process, what do we need to define?

A

three of four behaviors that support our values and three or four slippery behaviors.

94
Q

Who should the empathy seat in your arena belong too?

A

Someone who knows our values and supports our efforts to put them into action.

95
Q

Who should the self compassion seat in your arena belong too?

A

Yourself

96
Q

I know Im ready to give feedback when Im ready to sit next to you ________.

A

Rather than across from you.

97
Q

I know I’m ready to give feedback when _______ rather than between us.

A

Im willing to put the problem in front of us

98
Q

I know I’m ready to give feedback when I’m ready to listen, ask questions, and accept ______.

A

that I may not fully understand the issue.

99
Q

I know I’m ready to give feedback when I’ ready to ______ instead of just picking apart your mistake.

A

acknowledge what you do well

100
Q

I know I’m ready to give feedback when I recognize your strengths and how you can ______.

A

use them to address your challenges.

101
Q

I know I’m ready to give feedback when I can hold you accountable without _____ and ____.

A

shaming and blaming.

102
Q

I know I’m ready to give feedback when Im open to owning ____

A

my part.

103
Q

I know I’m ready to give feedback when I can genuinely thank someone for their efforts rather than ________.

A

just criticizing them for failing.

104
Q

I know I’m ready to give feedback when I can talk about how resolving these challenges will ______

A

lead to growth and opportunity.

105
Q

I know I’m ready to give feedback when I cam model the vulnerability and openness that ____

A

I expect to see from you.

106
Q

Mastery requires ______.

A

Feedback

107
Q

When receiving feedback, what are some tactics that can help?

A

Identify a value-supporting behavior or piece of self talk.

108
Q

You don’t really know people until you _______.

A

Take the time to understand their values.

109
Q

At Brene Brown Education and Research Group, we are called to live into the following values:

A

Be Brave
Serve the work
Take good care

110
Q

In addition to setting clear expectations, what does Operationalized values do for a well defined culture?

A

It helps us determine a cultural fit during hiring, and offers us very straightforward standards of behavior when there are non-performance related issues.

111
Q

What does the value of living BIG stand for?

A

Boundaries
Integrity
Generosity

112
Q

Daring leaders work from the assumption that people are doing ______; leaders struggling with ego, armor, and/or a lack of skills do not make that assumption.

A

the best they can

113
Q

How does Charles Feltman define trust?

A

Choosing to risk making something you value vulnerable to another person’s actions.

114
Q

How does Charles Feltman define distrust?

A

Deciding that what is important to me is not safe with this person in this situation (or any situation).

115
Q

What is the primary defining characteristic of the very best work places?

A

Trust between managers and employees.

116
Q

What are the seven behaviors that make up the anatomy of trust? (BRAVING)

A

BRAVING - acronym
Boundaries
Reliability
Accountability
Vault
Integrity
Nonjudgment
Generosity

117
Q

What is an integrity partner?

A

Someone at work who we can check in with to make sure we’re acting in our integrity.

118
Q

What is the most common answer to, “What do you team members do that earns your trust?”

A

Asking for help

119
Q

Research shows that leaders who are trained in rising skills as part of a courage-building program are more likely to ____.

A

engage in courageous behaviors because they know how to get back up.

120
Q

If we don’t have the skills to get back up, _____.

A

we may not risk falling.

121
Q

What are the three parts of Learning to Rise?

A
  • the reckoning
  • the rumble
  • the revolution
122
Q

How do we recognize that we’ve been snagged by emotion?

A

Our body

123
Q

Why do very few people make it through the reckoning part of Learning to Rise?

A

Instead of feeling our emotions and getting curious, we offload them onto others.

124
Q

What are the six most common offloading strategies?

A

1) Chandeliering
2) Bouncing Hurt
3) Numbing Hurt
4) Stockpiling Hurt
5) The Umbridge
6) Hurt and the Fear of High-Centering

125
Q

What offloading strategy is it when someone might maintain their prized stoicism in front of customers or other people they want to impress but when around people they power over they explode?

A

Chandeliering

126
Q

What offloading strategy is it when someone says, “Everything is awesome” or “I just never really feel angry or upset”?

A

The Umbridge

127
Q

What offloading strategy is it if I feel I recognize my hurt or fear or anger, I’ll get stuck?

A

Hurt and the Fear of high centering

128
Q

What is the most effective strategy for staying with emotion instead of offloading?

A

Box Breathing or Tactical Breathing

129
Q

Breathing is also the key to another strategy for reckoning with emotion, and one of the most underrated leadership superpowers:

A

practicing calm

130
Q

Creating perspective and mindfulness while managing emotional reactivity is what?

A

Calm

131
Q

Calm is a superpower because it is the balm that heals one of the most prevalent workplace stressors:

A

anxiety

132
Q

Dr. Harriet Lerner explains that we all have pattered ways of managing anxiety; some of us respond by ______ and other by ______.

A

over and under functioning

133
Q

The rumble part of learning to rise starts with this universal truth:

A

In the absence of data, we will always make up stories.

134
Q

To ______ is to replace missing information with something false that we believe to be true.

A

confabulate

135
Q

What three questions do we need to answer when moving from “a wreckage of shattered glass and splintered wood” to a true story?

What more do I need to learn and understand about —–?

A

1) the situation
2) the other people in the story
3) about myself

136
Q

The three most dangerous stories we make up are the narratives that diminish our ___,____, and ____.

A

lovability
divinity
creativity

137
Q

What is the delta?

A

The difference between what we make up about our experiences and the truth we discover through the process of rumbling is where the meaning and wisdom of this experience live.

138
Q

What is the first story we make up?

A

Stormy First Draft SFD

Sgt Test Flashcards (6 decks)

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