Scene 14

Question 1

And I don’t have to hit on interns, Professor

Answer 1

thank you, Emmet

Question 2

call your first witness.

Answer 2

We call Chutney Wyndham to the stand.

Question 3

Total Tragic Perm.

Answer 3

Ms. Wyndham, what was your relationship to the deceased?

Question 4

He was my father.

Answer 4

Did you actually see his murder take place?

Question 5

Drenched in his blood.

Answer 5

Ms. Wyndham, on the day your father was killed, did you see anyone suspicious hanging around?

Question 6

Suspiciously hanging around my shower?

Answer 6

No, before that.

Question 7

I was out getting a perm.

Answer 7

And then you came home and took a shower?

Question 8

YES. I was in the shower.

Answer 8

Thank you. Now, Ms. Wyndham, you claim on the day of the murder, you got a perm. Was this your first perm?

Question 9

About 3 a year.

Answer 9

Interesting.
My associate has just gotten a perm herself today. Exhibit A: Ms. Enid Hoopes.
Now, Ms. Wyndham, would Exhibit A’s perm be similar to your own?

Question 10

duh.

Answer 10

And now, one more time, you didn’t see the murder or hear the gunshot because you were where?

Question 11

IN THE SHOWER!!!!

Answer 11

Thank you. Now, Ms. Hoopes, would you dump this bucket of water onto your head?

Question 12

You cant get a perm wet for 48 hours.

Answer 12

Exactly!
(beat)
Water deactivates the ammonium thiglycolate and completely ruins it.
(beat)
It’s the cardinal rule of perm maintenance
(beat)
Your perm is still in tact, so you couldn’t have showered that day. Why would you lie about being in the shower?

Question 13

I was—

Answer 13

Why would you lie about NOT hearing the gunshots?

Question 14

but I—

Answer 14

Why would you—

Question 15

I was wrong.

Answer 15

thanks, Warner.

Question 16

We do belong together

Answer 16

Oh, Warner. Vivienne dumped you, didn’t she.