Warren & Jessica

Question 0

What is he, like the big drug dealer or something?

Answer 0

He’s the big everything.

Question 1

Where’s he going?

Answer 1

He has a business transaction to perform.

Question 2

Well… Sorry to bust in on you like this-

Answer 2

That’s OK.

Question 3

-but I actually just wanted to tell you I can’t have brunch.

Answer 3

Why not?

Question 4

Well, when I got home………… so now she wants to have some big landmark discussion about how we’re gonna handle my living there this year.

Answer 4

Well… thanks for canceling in person.

Question 5

Well, I’m sorry, but my mom is really upset and getting along with her is a really big priority for me right now. I tried to call before, but the line was busy.

Answer 5

Do you want to make a plan for any time this week?

Question 6

I think I’d better just chill out a little bit this week, actually.

Answer 6

All right.

Question 7

Well… You seem like you’re really angry…

Answer 7

I’m not.

Question 8

Well that’s not the impression you’re conveying, but…

Answer 8

No- I guess I just don’t understand why you walked ten blocks out of your way so you could be around the corner so you could buzz up and tell me you can’t have brunch with me.

Question 9

Uh, no: I told you I tried to call…

Answer 9

Yeah- he was on the phone for like two minutes.

Question 10

All right, I’m sorry.

Answer 10

There’s nothing to be sorry about.

Question 11

All right.

So… Can I ask you something?

Answer 11

Go ahead.

Question 12

Did you tell Denis what happened last night?

Answer 12

… Um… I guess.

Question 13

Really. What did you say?

Answer 13

Nothing. I said we had a nice time.

Question 14

That’s all?

Answer 14

Pretty much.

Question 15

I find that really hard to believe.

Answer 15

Why?

Question 16

I don’t know. Don’t you guys get into like comparing notes and stuff?

Answer 16

I’m not really into that.

Question 17

Well… OK… It’s just- this is getting a little weird………… And who I really care about.

Answer 17

Um… So… I don’t really get what’s happening now… You’re mad at me because you lied to Valerie?

Question 18

No… I just should have figured that you would rush off to tell your friends that you fucked me!

Answer 18

Whoa!

Question 19

-whereas I might be mor inclined to be a little more discreet about it till I found out where I stood with you.

Answer 19

I didn’t fuckin rush off anywhere!

Question 20

Yeah, whatever, you know what? It doesn’t matter-

Answer 20

I came back here ‘cause I’m staying here-

Question 21

Ok, but you know what? It really doesn’t matter.

Answer 21

And the minute I walked in he like totally grilled me-

Question 22

Oh, so you just tell him whatever he wants to know?……..

Answer 22

No! Will you let me finish my-

Question 23

But honestly Warren?……… There’s nothing I can do about it.

Answer 23

What people? What are you talking about?

Question 24

I don’t know, but whatever it is I must be wrong because of the way your yelling.

Answer 24

You’re not anything!

Question 25

Well it really- I should just really………… Denis Ziegler thinks I’m like, easy pickins, or something-

Answer 25

Nobody thinks anything-

Question 26

And it’s not like I even care…… You can chalk one up in your book or whatever-

Answer 26

I don’t have a book.

Question 27

-And I’ll just know better next time! Hopefully. Ok?

Answer 27

I don’t really get what you’re so upset about.

Question 28

Well: I guess I’m just insane.

Answer 28

I thought we had a really good time together, and I was actually in a fairly up state of mind for once.

Question 29

I’m sure you were.

Answer 29

Well, I didn’t mean that in any kind of lascivious way, so I don’t know why you want to want to take it like that. I really like you.

Question 30

Yeah, whatever.

Answer 30

No not whatever! I’m sorry I said anything to Dennis. I definitely caved into the peer pressure. But I also definitely said as little as possible and was totally respectful of you in the way I talked about you. Even though I was pretty excited about what happened last night, and also about like, maybe like, the prospect of, like I don’t know, like, going out with you- which I would be very into, if you were. But if you want to think the whole thing meant nothing to me, then go ahead, because that’s not the case.

Question 31

Well… You know, I really-

Answer 31

It’s totally weird, like taking all your clothes off having sex with someone you barely know, and then being like, “what’s up now?” You know? Like it’s such an intense experience, but then nobody knows what to fuckin’ say, even though nothing really bad actually happened. You know?

Question 32

… Well… I don’t know…

Answer 32

But I really like you… I don’t really agree with most of your opinions…

Question 33

Oh, thank you.

Answer 33

… But I don’t meet a lot of people who can actually make me think, you know? And you can hold their own an interesting discussion. And who I’m totally hot for the same time. You know? It’s a fairly effective combination.

Question 34

I don’t know Warren…… And I guess actions speak louder than words…

Answer 34

But what action could I possibly take except to say I’m sorry for whatever it is you think I’ve done?