1 - Love

Question 1

What exclusionary factor identifies the cultural relevance of love within families?

Answer 1

The incest taboo

Question 2

What are the two main types of love?

Answer 2

• Familial (eg. kids for the parents)

- Sexual (eg. partners)

Question 3

What is the greatest factor in creating our understanding of love?

Answer 3

language

Question 4

What hint leads us to believe that many people view love as something that we are powerless to control?

Answer 4

Our language, such as ‘falling in love’ or ‘love at first sight’

Question 5

Do opposites attract?

Answer 5

Not really

Question 6

What are four factors that increase the chance of people falling in love?

Answer 6

• Frequent exposure
• Propinquity (neighbourhood)
• Homophily (equal status)
• Matching phenomenon (partners equal in terms of social and personal characteristics)

Question 7

What is the attraction-similarity hypothesis?

Answer 7

States that people look for partners with their ‘purchasing power’ in mind. That is, if you think you’re a ten, you get a ten, etc.

Question 8

What are three common things that people talk about when they first meet? Why?

Answer 8

• Occupation
• Location
• Family

To determine attraction and value of having that person as a partner. This is somewhat the purpose of small talk

Question 9

What is the two-component theory of love?

Answer 9

1. A state of intense physiological arousal, followed by:

2. Application of a label “love” to that sensation

Question 10

What is a risk identified by the two-component theory of love?

Answer 10

That physiological arousal from other stimuli is attributed to feelings of love (ie. risk of misattribution of arousal)

Question 11

What is the emotional component of love?

Answer 11

Intimacy

Characterized by closeness, bonding, mutual understanding and sharing

Question 12

What is the motivational component of love?

Answer 12

Passion

Characterized by physical attraction and sexual expression

Question 13

What is the cognitive component of love?

Answer 13

Commitment

Characterized by short term decision to love and the long term decision to maintain relationship

Question 14

What are the three tenants of the triangular theory of love?

Answer 14

• Intimacy
• Passion
• Commitment

Question 15

What are the 7 types of love around Sternberg’s Triangle?

Answer 15

• Intimacy (liking only)
• Companionate love (intimacy and commitment)
• Empty love (commitment only)
• Fatuous love (commitment and passion)
• Passion (infatuation only)
• Romantic love (passion and intimacy)

When there is intimacy, commitment and passion = consummate love

Question 16

What is a love story about? And why is it important?

Answer 16

What we feel love ‘should’ be like.

When we fall in love, it is because you meet someone who fits your love story

Question 17

What are the three elements of the ‘love as story’ ideo of love?

Answer 17

• Characters
• A plot
• A theme

Question 18

What are three types of love stories?

Answer 18

• War story
• Love is a mystery (ie a partner that you can never really know)
• House and home (home is the centre of the relationship)

Question 19

What two neurotransmitters stimulate the brain to feel attraction?

Answer 19

norepinephrine and PEA

Produces feelings of elation and euphoria. Can’t eat or sleep

Question 20

What may lead to ‘fixing’ on love?

Answer 20

The body building up a tolerance to the stimulating effects of norepinephrine and PEA

Question 21

What is the cuddling and physical intimacy endorphin associated with attachment and orgasm/sexual satisfaction?

Answer 21

Oxytocin

Produces a sense of security, tranquility and calm

Question 22

What endorphin causes inability to differentiate love/lust?

Answer 22

Oxytocin

Question 23

Is the concept of love old or new?

Answer 23

Relatively new considering human history. Traditionally been about acquiring land, power and wealth through arranged marriages.

Question 24

Does sexual self-disclosure to close friends increase or decrease with age?

Answer 24

Decrease

Young people disclose more

Question 25

Do more men or women disclose details about their sex life to their friends?

Answer 25

Very slightly more women (but practically equal)

Question 26

What are some differences between individualistic culture and collective cultures in terms of love?

Answer 26

- Individualistic cultures select on basis of attractiveness, similarity and resources. Collective attach to those who bring harmony to the group, as well as attractiveness, similarity and resources - Individualistic cultures value independence and uniqueness - Individualistic culture value romantic love - More cost-benefit consideration with individualistic cultures - Emotional detachment from the group is acceptable in individualistic cultures

Question 27

What type of communication is closely related to sexual satisfaction with the relationship? Why? (3)

Answer 27

Sexual self-disclosure - Helps to learn about what pleases/displeases each other - Leads to reciprocity - Leads to greater intimacy

Question 28

What is levelling?

Answer 28

Telling your partner what you are feeling by stating your thoughts clearly, simply and honestly

Question 29

What are four tenets for good messages and communication?

Answer 29

- Complain rather than criticize (I language) - Don't mind read or make assumptions about what partner things or feels - Documenting (giving specific examples of the issue being discussed) - Offer limited choices - offering a set of acceptable alternatives

Question 30

What is editing?

Answer 30

Censoring or not saying things that would be deliberately hurtful to your partner or that are irrelevant

Question 31

What is a good listener?

Answer 31

A non defensive listener that focuses on what your partner is saying and feeling. Not immediately becoming defensive or counterattacking with complaints of your own

Question 32

What is validating?

Answer 32

Telling your partner that given his/her point of view, you can see why he or she thinks a certain way

Question 33

What is paraphrasing?

Answer 33

Saying, in your own words, what you thought your partner meant

Question 34

What is drawing your partner out?

Answer 34

Open-ended questions that call for more than a yes or no

Question 35

What are the rules of fighting fair?

Answer 35

- Don't give ambiguous messages | - Don't make assumptions about the meaning of ambiguous messages

Question 36

What is a mixed union?

Answer 36

A couple where one partner is a visible minority and the other is not

Question 37

What is the tendency for men and women to choose partners similar to themselves?

Answer 37

Matching pehnomenon

Question 38

Is similarity in personality correlated with relationship satisfaction?

Answer 38

No But similarities in attitudes is

Question 39

What is Byrne's law of attraction?

Answer 39

Reinforcement theory, says that our attraction to another person is proportionate to the number of reinforcements plus punishments the person gives us

Question 40

What are the four views of love?

Answer 40

- The triangular theory - The attachment theory - The love-as-a-story perspective - The passionate love ciew

Question 41

What is the fastest component of love to arise and fade?

Answer 41

Passion

Question 42

What are the short term and long term aspects of commitment?

Answer 42

Short term: decision to love Long term: commitment to maintain relationship Commitment is what makes relationships last

Question 43

What ideas gave rise to the attachment theory of love?

Answer 43

That early attachments (ie. in childhood) form the basis for adult relationships

Question 44

What are the four points on an attachment theory scale?

Answer 44

Positive/negative model of other (Seeks/avoids others) Positive/negative model of self (self confident/anxious)

Question 45

What are the four types of attachment identified in the attachment theory of love?

Answer 45

- Secure (positive model of self/other) - Preoccupied (positive model of other, negative model of self) - Fearful (negative model of other/self) - Dismissing (positive model of self, negative model of other)

Question 46

Are children of divorced parents more or less likely to have a secure attachment style? What does affect attachment style?

Answer 46

Neither, not correlated Quality of relationships with parents and friends in childhood and adolescence

Question 47

How can a married couple that constantly fights have a good marriage?

Answer 47

Because they have the same temperament and the same love story (war story) they are a good match for each other.