Unit 9: Attraction and Close Relationships

Question 1

Describe the need for affiliation.

Answer 1

The need for affiliation is a fundamental human motive. It is a desire to establish and maintain many rewarding interpersonal relationships. Individuals differ in the strength of their need for affiliation and are motivated to establish and maintain an optimum balance of social contact.

Question 2

Define social anxiety.

Answer 2

Social anxiety is when people are so worried about how they come across to other people that they experience intense feelings of discomfort in situations that invite public scrutiny.

Question 3

What is the relationship between affiliation and stress?

Answer 3

In times of stress people are strongly compelled to seek the company of others, even strangers. It has been theorized that stress increases the desire to affiliate when being with others will help to reduce the negative impact of the stressful situation. People are adaptively motivated to affiliate with other people who can help us to cope with an impending threat.

Question 4

Define loneliness.

Answer 4

Loneliness is a feeling of deprivation about existing social relations. It is triggered by a discrepancy between the level of social contact that a person has and the level of social contact that they want to have.

Question 5

What factors are associated with loneliness?

Answer 5

Loneliness is associated with times of transition or disruption such as moving or after a romantic breakup. It also declines over the course of adulthood until declining health in old age inhibits engagement in social activities.

Question 6

What coping strategies do people use to combat loneliness?

Answer 6

1. trying harder to be friendlier to other people
2. distraction and taking their mind off the problem with activities like reading or watching TV
3. increasing efforts to succeed in other area of life
4. seeking new ways to meet people
5. improving physical appearance
6. talking to someone (e.g. friend, relative, therapist) about the problem
7. drug and alcohol use to cope with feelings of loneliness

Question 7

What role do rewards play in interpersonal attraction?

Answer 7

People are attracted to other people with whom it seems possible to have a rewarding relationship. Rewards can be direct (e.g. being provided with attention, support, money, status, information, and other valuable commodities) or indirect (e.g. when it feels good to be with someone who is beautiful, smart, or funny).

Question 8

What is the relationship between proximity and interpersonal attraction?

Answer 8

Physical proximity is the best predictor of whether two people will get together.

Question 9

Through what process does the relationship between proximity and interpersonal attraction develop?

Answer 9

Proximity increases the frequency of contact and the more often people are exposed to a stimulus, the more positively they evaluate that stimulus (called the mere exposure effect).

Question 10

What are the objective factors that influence perceptions of beauty?

Answer 10

1. there is agreement between children, adults, men, and women from the same and different cultures when asked to rate the attractiveness of faces
2. agreement about what constitutes an attractive body (0.7 WHR for women; a tapered V-shape waist for men)
3. women have a preference for height
4. preference for smooth skin, a pleasant expression, youthfulness, and a direct gaze
5. people prefer computerized averaged facial composites to individual faces because they are more prototypically face-like and therefore seem more familiar
6. preference for symmetrical faces
7. babies exhibit a nonverbal preference for faces considered attractive by adults when they are too young to have learned about cultural standards of beauty

Question 11

What are the subjective factors that influence perceptions of beauty?

Answer 11

1. different cultures enhance their beauty in different ways
2. ideals vary when it comes to bodies
3. standards of beauty change over time, from one generation to the next
4. in research studies social psychologists have found that perceptions of beauty can be inflated or deflated by various circumstances.

Question 12

Why are people attracted to beautiful people?

Answer 12

1. it is inherently rewarding to be in the company of people who are aesthetically appealing
2. a bias to believe that beauty is associated with other desirable qualities (what-is-beautiful-is-good stereotype)

Question 13

Describe the what-is-beautiful-is-good stereotype.

Answer 13

The what-is-beautiful-is-good stereotype is the belief that physically attractive individuals also possess desirable personality characteristics. Good looking people are judged to be smart, successful, happy, well-adjusted, socially skilled, confident, and assertive, but also vain. However, the traits associated with this stereotype differ between individualistic and collectivist cultures depending on what is considered attractive in each culture.

Question 14

Describe the benefits of being physically beautiful.

Answer 14

People who are good-looking are more popular, more sexually experienced, and more socially skilled.

Question 15

Describe the costs of being physically beautiful.

Answer 15

1. can’t always tell if the attention and praise received from others are due to their talent or just their good looks
2. pressure to maintain one’s appearance, which can sometimes place an unhealthy emphasis on nutrition and exercise and in severe cases can lead to eating disorders

Question 16

How do similarity and dissimilarity influence our attraction to people during initial encounters?

Answer 16

People tend to associate with others who are similar to themselves. This includes sharing the same opinions, interests and values. Rosenbaum argues that similarity does not spark attraction; rather dissimilarity triggers repulsion and the desire to avoid someone. Byrne and colleagues developed a two-step model that takes into account the influence of similarity and dissimilarity. First, people avoid associating with others who are dissimilar. Next, among the people who remain, they are drawn to the individuals who are most similar to them. Low similarity sparks indifference while high similarity sparks attraction. People continue to interact with others with whom they have high similarity/attraction.

Question 17

Describe the matching hypothesis.

Answer 17

The matching hypothesis is the proposition that people are attracted to others who are similar in physical attractiveness.

Question 18

Is there any research support for the complementarity hypothesis, that is “opposites attract”?

Answer 18

No, complementarity does not influence attraction.

Question 19

What is the role of reciprocity in relationships?

Answer 19

Reciprocity refers to a mutual exchange between what we give and receive. When a relationship is characterized by reciprocity it is in a state of balance.

Question 20

What is the hard-to-get effect?

Answer 20

The hard-to-get-effect is the tendency to prefer people who are highly selective in their social choices over those who are more readily available. People are turned off by others who are nonselective (have no standards) as well as others who are too selective (they are arrogant). Additionally, people are turned off by people who reject them, either because they are committed to someone else or because they are not interested.

Question 21

What is the evidence for the evolutionary perspective to mate selection?

Answer 21

1. Women are attracted to men who are older and financially secure because women are biologically limited in the number of children they can bear and raise in a lifetime they have to select a mate who has the resources to support her offspring
2. Men worry about and get more upset about sexual infidelity than emotional infidelity due to concerns about uncertain paternity

Question 22

What is the evidence against the evolutionary perspective to mate selection (from the sociocultural perspective)?

Answer 22

1. Women trade youth and beauty for money and power because they lack direct access to economic power (not for reproductive purposes)
2. A woman who has a sexual affair also likely has intimate feelings for her extramarital partner and her husband is concerned about the threat to the relationship rather than fatherhood issues
3. Sex differences are typiclly small compared to the similarities and this finding holds across cultures
4. Neither of the traits of physical attractiveness and financial prospects places among the highest ranking attributes people look for in a partner
5. Sex differences are not consistent across cultures and are not predictable

Question 23

Explain social exchange theory.

Answer 23

Social exchange theory is a perspective that views people as motivated to maximize benefits and minimize costs in their relationships with others.

Question 24

What does comparison level refer to in social exchange theory?

Answer 24

Comparison level refers to the average expected outcome in relationships. A person with a high comparison level expects their relationships to be rewarding and finds situations that meet or exceed these expectations to be rewarding. A person with a low comparison does not expect relationships to be as rewarding.

Question 25

What does comparison level alternatives refer to in social exchange theory?

Answer 25

Comparison level alternatives refers to people’s expectations about what they would receive in an alternative situation.

Question 26

What does investment refer to in social exchange theory?

Answer 26

Investment is something a person puts into a relationship that he or she cannot recover if the relationship ends. Investments increase commitment.

Question 27

According to social exchange theory, what predicts satisfaction?

Answer 27

1. high rewards, low costs, and a relationship meeting or exceeding the comparison level predicts higher satisfaction
2. high satisfaction, low comparison level for alternatives (i.e. unattractive or unavailable alternatives) and a high level of investment result in higher commitment to the relationship

Question 28

Describe the equity theory.

Answer 28

Equity theory is the theory that people are more satisfied with a relationship when the ratio between benefits and contributions is similar for both partners. According to equity theory, there is imbalance and dissatisfaction when one partner receives more benefits then they deserve on the basis of contributions made (overbenefitted) while the other partner receives fewer benefits than deserved (underbenifitted).

Question 29

In what way is the equity theory similar to the social exchange theory?

Answer 29

It is similar to the social exchange theory in that it is a version of how social exchange operates in interpersonal interactions. Both theories focus on quantity and the idea of the more (rewards, equity), the better (satisfaction, endurance).

Question 30

What are exchange relationships?

Answer 30

Exchange relationships are relationships in which the participants expect and desire strict reciprocity in their interactions. They are formed most often between strangers and casual acquaintances.

Question 31

What are communal relationships?

Answer 31

Communal relationships are relationships in which the participants expect and desire mutual responsiveness to each other’s needs. They are usually formed between close friends, romantic partners, and family members.

Question 32

What are the different attachment styles?

Answer 32

1. secure
2. anxious
3. avoidant

Question 33

Describe the secure attachment style.

Answer 33

Babies with secure attachment styles cry in distress when separated from their mother and greet her with happiness when she returns. Adults who have a secure attachment style report having satisfying relationships that are happy, friendly, based on mutual trust, and are enduring. They also tend to find it relatively easy to get close to others, to see other people as good-hearted, and to believe in romantic love.

Question 34

Describe the anxious attachment style.

Answer 34

Babies with anxious attachment styles cry and cling to their mother when she leaves and greet her with anger or apathy when she returns. Adults who have an anxious attachment style tend to find that other people are reluctant to get as close as they would like and they often worry their partner doesn’t really love them or want to stay with them. They report love lives full of emotional highs and lows, obsessive preoccupation, a greater willingness to make long-term commitments, and extreme sexual attraction and jealousy.

Question 35

Describe the avoidant attachment style.

Answer 35

Babies with avoidant attachment styles have minimal reactions at separation and reunion. Adults who have an avoidant attachment style fear intimacy and believe that romantic love is doomed to fade. They tend to be uncomfortable being close to others, find it difficult to trust others completely, and to allow themself to depend on others.

Question 36

Describe briefly Sternberg’s triangular theory of love.

Answer 36

Sternberg’s triangular theory of love proposes that love has three basic components: intimacy, passion, and commitment.

Intimacy is the emotional component which involves liking and feelings of closeness.

Passion is the motivational component which contains drives that trigger attraction, romance, and sexual desire.

Commitment is the cognitive component, which reflects the decision to make a long-term commitment to a loved partner.

Question 37

List the types of love resulting from combinations of the components in Sternberg’s triangular theory of love.

Answer 37

1. Liking = intimacy alone
2. Companionate love = intimacy + commitment
3. Empty love = commitment alone
4. Fatuous love = passion + commitment
5. Infatuation = passion alone
6. Romantic love = intimacy + passion
7. Consummate love = intimacy + passion + commitment
8. Non-love = absence of all 3 components

Question 38

According to Hatfield, what is passionate love?

Answer 38

Passionate love is romantic love characterized by high arousal, intense attraction, and a fear of rejection. It is an emotionally intense and often erotic state of absorption in another person.

Question 39

According to Hatfield, what is companionate love?

Answer 39

Companionate love is a secure, trusting, stable partnership.

Question 40

What is excitation transfer?

Answer 40

Excitation transfer is the process whereby arousal caused by one stimulus is added to arousal from a second stimulus, and the combined arousal is attributed to the second stimulus.

Question 41

Describe the roles that arousal and excitation transfer play in the experience of passionate love.

Answer 41

Sometimes symptoms of arousal (e.g. pounding heart, sweaty palms) can be hard to interpret and when they happen in the company of an attractive person they may be attributed to passionate love. Arousal intensifies emotional reactions regardless of whether they are positive or negative. This is an automatic response that happens even when people know what the actual source of their arousal is. Excitation transfer may be but is not necessarily an unconscious misattribution.

Question 42

What is self-disclosure?

Answer 42

Self-disclosure is a willingness to open up and share intimate facts and feelings.

Question 43

What are the three typical patterns of self-disclosure in relationships?

Answer 43

1. Partners reveal more to each other as their relationship grows over time. Over time exchanges cover more areas of partners’ lives (breadth) and involve more sensitive areas (depth).
2. Patterns of self-disclosure change according to the state of a relationship. If a new acquaintance opens up, it is polite to match that self-disclosure by revealing more of ourselves. However, once a relationship is well established this strict reciprocity occurs less frequently.
3. Individuals differ in their tendency to share private, intimate thoughts with others. Women tend to self-disclose more than men and people in general self-disclose more to women than to men.

Question 44

Describe the patterns of marital satisfaction.

Answer 44

Marital satisfaction declines among both husbands and wives over time. There are two (comparatively) steep drops in satisfaction occurring during the first and eighth years of marriage. Overall, ratings of marital quality are very similar between husbands and wives. Additionally, the transition to parenthood among heterosexual couples speeds up the decline in marital satisfaction. When children grow up and leave the home, marital satisfaction increases again (in middle age).

Question 45

What are the two communication patterns couples use in times of conflict?

Answer 45

1. negative affect reciprocity

2. demand/withdraw interaction patterns

Question 46

Describe negative affect reciprocity.

Answer 46

Negative affect reciprocity is a tit-for-tat exchange of expression of negative feelings. Expressions of negative affect within a couple trigger more in-kind responses and this creates a cycle of unpleasant interactions that can be difficult to break.

Question 47

Describe demand/withdraw interaction patterns.

Answer 47

This pattern reflects sex differences in how men and women react to conflict. The wife demands to discuss the relationship problems and becomes frustrated when the husband withdraws from the discussions. The problem exists in the discrepancy between how the partners approach dealing with conflict.

Question 48

What are the two attribution styles couples use in times of conflict?

Answer 48

1. relationship-enhancing attributions

2. distress-maintaining attributions

Question 49

What are relationship-enhancing attributions?

Answer 49

When individuals see their partner’s undesirable behaviours as caused by factors that are situational and limited in scope. They also see their partner’s desirable behaviours as being caused by factors that are inherent in the partner, permanent, and generalizable to other aspects of the relationship.

Question 50

What are distress-maintaining attributions?

Answer 50

When undesirable behaviours are seen as being caused by factors inherent in the partner while desirable behaviours are seen as being faced by situational factors.

Question 51

What are the factors that influence how well a person copes with the ending of an intimate relationship?

Answer 51

1. The closeness of the relationship. People have a more difficult time coping with the ending of relationships that are closer.
2. Interdependence. The more interdependence (amount of time spent together, variety of shared activities, degree of influence partners have on each other) and investment in a relationship the more difficulty individuals have coping with its ending.