Prologue

Question 1

MOLIERE: Non Non Non Non Non! je ne l’aurai pas! C’est insultant!

Answer 1

But seriously, Moliere, this is the best way -

Question 2

Vous plaisantez j’espère?

Answer 2

No, I’m not kidding, we’re doing the play in English, but -

Question 3

Ce sera ruiné!

Answer 3

Look, I know you wrote it to be performed in French, but we can’t. It just won’t -

Question 4

C’est un morceau de génie comique! Comment oses-tu?

Answer 4

Comic genius? Have you been reading about yourself on the internet again?

Question 5

Ce sera des déchets, des ordures, des ordures de cirque! (They arrive onstage; Moliere pushes his cup at the Assistant Director.) Tartuffe doit être fait en français!

Answer 5

Sir - Monsieur - the actors can only do it in English. Would you rather have it done well in English, or done like des ordures de cirque, like circus trash, in French?

Question 6

Ils ne peuvent pas être si mauvais, sûrement…

Answer 6

Oh trust me, they can be that bad.

Question 7

Moliere shaking head, incredulous

Answer 7

Fine. You don’t believe me? I’ll show you. (Raising voice) Okay people; let’s do this thing, en francais!

Question 8

qu’est-ce que c’est?!

Answer 8

But they barely know their lines

Question 9

Je suis terriblement désolé que tu aies dû voir ça. Voir…

Answer 9

Umm… Sir… Monsieur

Question 10

Quoi?!

Answer 10

I don’t think the audience understand French

Question 11

Ça va

Answer 11

So I don’t think they understand you

Question 12

Bien

Answer 12

So they won’t understand the play if it’s done in French

Question 13

Eh bien, je suppose que cela doit être fait en anglais alors. Ma parole!

Answer 13

Really?!

Question 14

Moliere shakes his head reluctantly

Answer 14

Let the play restart in English then!

Question 15

Moliere turns to walk off stage right while the assistant director watches him

Answer 15

Umm… Monsieur?

Question 16

Oui?

Answer 16

This way