Courtroom Scene 6 Flashcards

1
Q

Yeah alright alright we were going to stop anyway.

A

In court?

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2
Q

Bring in the defendant!

A

It’s him- it was him, I saw it. I’m a witness. I’m right at the heart of the action. Right at the Heart. This must be the final level, this must be the thing before I get to go home, mustn’t it?

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3
Q

Appearing for the defence: The Knave of Hearts

A

He’s defending himself?

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4
Q

I’ve got as many legs to stand on as I want- I won’t have it- someone must have seen what happened-

A

I did.

That is, I um. I saw him take them.

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5
Q

Did you really?

A

I really did, I promise.

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6
Q

Now, tell the court what you saw, as much as you can remember. Take your time.

A

I was standing near where the Hatter lives,

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7
Q

Minding your own business?

A

I was trying to work out how to get home. And I saw a boy pulling a trolley with some tarts on it. And then when the boy wasn’t looking I saw the Knave-

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8
Q

Did you know who he was?

A

No, I didn’t know then. But I recognised him straight away the next time I saw him, at the croquet.

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9
Q

And you saw him take the tarts.

A

Yes, and then he saw me and he said if I told anyone he’d kill me.

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10
Q

That he’d kill you.

A

Yes.

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11
Q

This man here?

A

Yes.

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12
Q

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, permit me to introduce a new piece of evidence.

This was found in Alice’s pocket. I think you’ll agree it’s very. Enlightening.

A

But how did you-

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13
Q

Twas brillig and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogroves
And the mome raths outgrabe

A

It’s just a silly poem.

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14
Q

I think not. Beware the jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch- Jaws that bite what, might I ask? Claws that catch tarts? I think it’s pretty clear this document is written by someone plotting a tart theft-

A

I didn’t write it.

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15
Q

Borogoves we know to be a slang word young people use for a certain jam-filled food stuffs-

A

It doesn’t mean that. Borogoves are birds with long legs and feather sticking out all around-

It’s true, Humpty Dumpty told me! Ask Humpty Dumpty if you don’t believe me.

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16
Q

So rested he by the Tumtum tree- Tumtum of course signifying hunger. And as in uffish thought he stood-

A

I don’t know what any of it means.

17
Q

A brilliant piece of lyrical styling, but the arrogant criminal always makes one mistake. Do the jury know, I wonder, what the French for Jabberwock is?

A

The French?

18
Q

The French for Jabberwock is ‘Aistolthatartez’

A

It’s just a piece of paper, I didn’t write it. Someone sent it to me.

19
Q

Guilty!

A

No! It’s not fair!

What? What’s funny?

20
Q

1 ‘It’s not fair’!

A

Of course they’re supposed to be fair, that’s the point. That’s why you have a jury.

21
Q

You’re going down! You’re going down!

A

But I didn’t do anything!

22
Q

2 ‘It’s not fair’!

A

No, shut up and listen. I didn’t do anything. He’s lying. This is a ridiculous place.

23
Q

Poor thing thinks life should be fair.

A

You’re all idiots. What a stupid bunch of-