Courtroom Scene 6

Question 1

Yeah alright alright we were going to stop anyway.

Answer 1

In court?

Question 2

Bring in the defendant!

Answer 2

It’s him- it was him, I saw it. I’m a witness. I’m right at the heart of the action. Right at the Heart. This must be the final level, this must be the thing before I get to go home, mustn’t it?

Question 3

Appearing for the defence: The Knave of Hearts

Answer 3

He’s defending himself?

Question 4

I’ve got as many legs to stand on as I want- I won’t have it- someone must have seen what happened-

Answer 4

I did.

That is, I um. I saw him take them.

Question 5

Did you really?

Answer 5

I really did, I promise.

Question 6

Now, tell the court what you saw, as much as you can remember. Take your time.

Answer 6

I was standing near where the Hatter lives,

Question 7

Minding your own business?

Answer 7

I was trying to work out how to get home. And I saw a boy pulling a trolley with some tarts on it. And then when the boy wasn’t looking I saw the Knave-

Question 8

Did you know who he was?

Answer 8

No, I didn’t know then. But I recognised him straight away the next time I saw him, at the croquet.

Question 9

And you saw him take the tarts.

Answer 9

Yes, and then he saw me and he said if I told anyone he’d kill me.

Question 10

That he’d kill you.

Answer 10

Yes.

Question 11

This man here?

Answer 11

Yes.

Question 12

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, permit me to introduce a new piece of evidence.

This was found in Alice’s pocket. I think you’ll agree it’s very. Enlightening.

Answer 12

But how did you-

Question 13

Twas brillig and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogroves
And the mome raths outgrabe

Answer 13

It’s just a silly poem.

Question 14

I think not. Beware the jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch- Jaws that bite what, might I ask? Claws that catch tarts? I think it’s pretty clear this document is written by someone plotting a tart theft-

Answer 14

I didn’t write it.

Question 15

Borogoves we know to be a slang word young people use for a certain jam-filled food stuffs-

Answer 15

It doesn’t mean that. Borogoves are birds with long legs and feather sticking out all around-

It’s true, Humpty Dumpty told me! Ask Humpty Dumpty if you don’t believe me.

Question 16

So rested he by the Tumtum tree- Tumtum of course signifying hunger. And as in uffish thought he stood-

Answer 16

I don’t know what any of it means.

Question 17

A brilliant piece of lyrical styling, but the arrogant criminal always makes one mistake. Do the jury know, I wonder, what the French for Jabberwock is?

Answer 17

The French?

Question 18

The French for Jabberwock is ‘Aistolthatartez’

Answer 18

It’s just a piece of paper, I didn’t write it. Someone sent it to me.

Question 19

Guilty!

Answer 19

No! It’s not fair!

What? What’s funny?

Question 20

1 ‘It’s not fair’!

Answer 20

Of course they’re supposed to be fair, that’s the point. That’s why you have a jury.

Question 21

You’re going down! You’re going down!

Answer 21

But I didn’t do anything!

Question 22

2 ‘It’s not fair’!

Answer 22

No, shut up and listen. I didn’t do anything. He’s lying. This is a ridiculous place.

Question 23

Poor thing thinks life should be fair.

Answer 23

You’re all idiots. What a stupid bunch of-