What Weakens and Strenghtens in our interaction with others 2

Question 1

Simpathy

Answer 1

Communicates pity. Justifies person’s feelings or behaviour. Rewards someone for feeling bad rather than taking action.

Question 2

Advice

Answer 2

It will usually be rejected. It may not fit situation. When accepted, breeds dependency and lack of faith in self.

Question 3

Fixing

Answer 3

Doing for others what they could do for themselves. Communicates that you don’t trust the other person and deprives them the opportunity to grow.

Question 4

Rescuing

Answer 4

Usually done to make the “giver” feel better but does not empower the recipient to express feelings and take responsibility.

Question 5

Lecturing

Answer 5

This moralizing and telling people how to think, feel and act. It deprives them of the opportunity to think for self and make choices.

Question 6

Purpose

Answer 6

Be clear about your intended outcomes. Make sure that your purpose is positive and strenghthening.

Question 7

Respect

Answer 7

Be committed to respect and equality. See people as “real” and go for win-win outcomes.

Question 8

Empathy

Answer 8

Listen to understand. It is non-judgemental and attempts to put yourself in other’s shoes. Doesn’t mean you agree with their point of view.

Question 9

Honesty

Answer 9

Honest feedback is strengthening. This can sound like: “What I see about what your doing is…” “The consequences I see are…”

Question 10

Valuing

Answer 10

Valuing questions help people think through what they really want and what they can do to get it. It places responsibility properly and allows them to solve their own problems.

Question 11

Advice

Answer 11

It will usually be rejected. It may not fit situation. When accepted, breeds dependency and lack of faith in self.

Question 12

Fixing

Answer 12

Doing for others what they could do for themselves. Communicates that you don’t trust the other person and deprives them the opportunity to grow.

Question 13

Rescuing

Answer 13

Usually done to make the “giver” feel better and does not empower the recipient to express feelings and take responsibility to solve the problem.

Question 14

Lecturing

Answer 14

This moralizing and telling people how to think, feel and act. It deprives individual of the opportunity to think for self and make choices.

Question 15

Purpose

Answer 15

Be clear about your purpose or intended outcomes. Make sure that purpose is positive and strenghthening.

Question 16

Respect

Answer 16

Be committed to respect and equality. See people as “ real” and go for win-win outcomes.

Question 17

Empathy

Answer 17

Listen to understand. It is non-judgemental and attempts to put yourself in other’s shoes. Doesn’t mean you agree with their point of view.

Question 18

Honesty

Answer 18

Honest disclosure or feedback is strengthening. This can sound like: “What I see about what your doing is…” “The consequences I see are…”

Question 19

Valuing

Answer 19

Valuing questions help people think through what they really want and what they can do to get it. It places responsibility properly and allows them to solve their own problems.