Crucial Conversations Flashcards
Watch for in dialogue (2)
content and conditions
Crucial Convos are when…
opinions vary, stakes are high, emotions are strong
Conditions to watch for (3)
- moment convo turns crucial
- signs people don’t feel safe- physical, emotions, behavior
- your own style under stress
build safety
step out, make safe, step back in
2 conditions of safety
mutual purpose- shared goal
mutual respect- find ways you are similar to empathize
To restore safety- 3 ways
apologize (if necessary)
contrast
create mutual purpose
Creating Mutual Purpose (CRIB)
commit publicly to seeking mutual purpose
recognize purposes (interests) behind strategy
invent mutual purpose
brainstorm new strategies
STATE- sharing hard things
Share your facts Tell your story Ask for others' path Talk tentatively Encourage testing
2 leverage points- 2 places to change first
1- learn to look- for conditions leading away from dialogue
2- make it safe- any way possible
Path to action
See and hear – tell a story – feel – act
Explore others’ paths AMPP
Ask- what’s going on, what’s your opinion, how do u see it differently
Mirror- showing them how they look- u say u’re ok, but u seem angry
Paraphrase- message in own words
Prime- your best guess as to what’s happening
Q to ask when feeling yourself losing control or things are getting hot
What do I really want hear? (Start with heart)
1st job in crucial convo- in first 30 secs
Create safety- let them know you care about their concerns, probs, goals as much as they do (mutual purpose); and you care about them (mutual respect)
