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No Body Like Jimmy > Act One > Flashcards

Act One Flashcards

1
Q

Ralph: Harold? It’s been a long time!

A

Who is it dear?

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2
Q

R: It’s Harold. My old college roommate

A

What’s he doing here?

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3
Q

R: He just dropped in to say hello.

A

Get rid of him! Now!

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4
Q

R: Have a seat.

A

Did you get rid of Harold? I know he’s your friend and all, but he’s nothing but trouble. I wish he’d just leave us alone. Would you help me with this? Thank you.

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5
Q

Harold: You’re welcome.

A

Oh. Harold. I didn’t realize you were still here.

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6
Q

H: I could tell

A

Well…what a surprise. Did you ever get the insurance business straightened out?

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7
Q

H: More or less.

A

And the assault charges?

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8
Q

H: Mistaken Identity. How about that?

A

Did Ralph tell you I’m running for Congress?

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9
Q

H: Yeah, I hope you win. Is there anything I can do for the campaign.

A

There is. It’s not good for a candidate to be seen with a convicted felon. Get out.

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10
Q

Ralph enters with two bottles of beer

A

What are you doing?

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11
Q

R: Getting Harold a beer.

A

Ralph, the guests will be here any minute.

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12
Q

R: He’ll be gone before they arrive.

A

This is a very important event.

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13
Q

H: Oh, yeah - yeah - absolutely. Just like a rose. A rose in bloom. Yeah, that’s it, a rose.

A

Please get rid of Harold. He can come back tomorrow and ruin your life. (exit to bedroom)

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14
Q

R: What do you want to hide in my basement?
H: I’ll show you.

A

Ralph? Is Harold gone?

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15
Q

R: Great seeing you again Harold. Stop by anytime. Any time but now. He’s gone.

A

Everytime you’re around Harold, something disastrous happens.

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16
Q

R: That’s an exaggeration.

A

It’s not much of an exaggeration.

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17
Q

Baxter: The serving table is ready, Mrs. Vanlandingham.

A

Thank you, Baxter. When the guests arrive, be cordial and charming and escort them to the patio. I hope it doesn’t rain.

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18
Q

R: It wasn’t his fault you know!

A

Oh, right! It’s never his fault.

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19
Q

R: Why can’t you leave him in your van?
H: Because he’s creepy!

A

(offstage) More guests, dear?

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20
Q

R: Um…you might say that.

A

(offstage) Show them to the patio.

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21
Q

R: Whatever! He can’t stay here!

A

(offstage) Ralph! Would you come here please?

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22
Q

Noel: Campaigns are getting to be a bore. I’ve been thinking about accepting a CEO position with a large corporation. ..There is one word to describe those people: smarmy! Look at Diane and tell me she’s not smarmy!

A

(enter, cross to Noel) Noel, I just can’t tell you how excited I am that you’re going to be writing my speeches.

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23
Q

N: Did you happen to see a poorly dressed man with a martini glass?

A

Diane says you’re the very best.

24
Q

Rick: Did you see my wife? I need the checkbook.

A

I’ll look for her.

25
Q

Rick: That shows how stupid the Immigration Service is! Maria is from Honduras!

A

Is there a problem?

26
Q

Emma: Nothing my husband can’t finagle his way out of…or maybe not. This could be the one that finally gets him. I’m having a wonderful time. And I just love Jimmy.

A

I hope this won’t be a problem. Immigration is an important issue. I wonder where I stand on it.

27
Q

Ralph: Oh no! Eloise! What are you doing?

A

I’m talking with Jimmy.

28
Q

R: You were talking with Jimmy?

A

We may have a problem, Ralph.

29
Q

R: Oh, geez! I’m sorry Eloise! I should have told you, but it would have ruined the entire afternoon! I’m embarrassed, I’m humiliated, I’m really grossed out!

A

So you knew about Maria.

30
Q

R: Maria?

A

She’s from Honduras.

31
Q

R: Maria’s from Honduras.

A

Yes, and it could be very embarrassing.

32
Q

R: Oh, I thought you were talking about Jimmy.

A

Was Jimmy in a car accident?

33
Q

R: He was…uh…in a garage. That’s close enough.

A

Did he come with Noel or Diane? Surely he didn’t come with the Pitmans.

34
Q

R: Oh…uh…I think he…uh…

A

He works for Noel doesn’t he.

35
Q

R: Noel?

A

I’m not sure about the Pitmans. I know Diane says the campaign needs their financial support, but there’s something kind of smarmy about them. Do you know what I mean?

36
Q

R: Smarmy?

A

I don’t trust them.

37
Q

R: Maybe we should join the other guests on the patio.

A

Good idea. Would you like to join us, Jimmy?

38
Q

R: He’s not feeling well.

A

Oh, no. Could I get you something to drink?

39
Q

R: Jimmy likes…uh…merlot.

A

I’ll have Baxter bring him a glass.

40
Q

N: There’s nothing like being caught in a storm with people you don’t really like. Present company excluded, of course.

A

This is terrible! It’s raining all over the buffet table! Ralph! What is HE doing here?

41
Q

H: To make a donation. I really want to help you win the election, so I’m going to donate fifty dollars. Could I borrow fifty dollars?

A

Get him out of here!

42
Q

H: Near Pittsburgh?

A

Make Harold leave!

43
Q

Rick: I need a drink!

A

(ALL) Me too!

44
Q

Emma: Maria is nothing compared to the rest of it.

A

(ALL) Rest of it?

45
Q

H: I’ll have another beer.

A

No you won’t! You’re leaving!

46
Q

Diane: Who is this man?

A

(ALL) Harold!

47
Q

N: This is getting interesting again.

A

Who could that be? (cross and open the door)

48
Q

Cooper: Oops. Do you have any scotch tape?

A

Why are you here?

49
Q

Linda: We are going to search this house.

A

No one here has broken any laws….well, almost no one. What are you searching for?

50
Q

Diane: You said a MAN drug a body in here! That leaves me off the hook.

A

What neighbor reported a man dragging a body in here?

51
Q

Cooper: Oh. Sorry. I don’t know who it was.

A

Mrs. Goldman claims the CIA has her phones tapped and she was abducted by aliens from a distant galaxy.

52
Q

L: Are you Mrs. Vanlandingham?

A

Yes. I’m preparing to run for public office and your very presence in my home compromises my campaign!

53
Q

Linda: Is anyone here named Maria?

A

(ALL) No.

54
Q

Linda: Is something funny?

A

No….sorry.

55
Q

Baxter: I guess I’ll have to stay here.

A

I DON’T THINK SO!

No Body Like Jimmy (2 decks)

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