Act 2 Scene 1 Flashcards
(66 cards)
SHELBY: But didn’t he scare you to death coming by so late?
CLAIREE: It wasn’t that late. About 9:30, I guess.
SHELBY: Still, somebody knocking on my bedroom window after dark would scare the daylights out of me.
CLAIREE: Not me. Hope springs eternal, I suppose. I was so disappointed when I realized it was only my nephew.
SHELBY: Well I just think it’s awful of Drew to throw his son out of the house. Parents should never throw their children out of the house.
CLAIREE: My brother can be very hotheaded when he wants to be. But he really didn’t throw Marshall out. Marshall just came over to my house while his daddy cooled off. I adore Marshall. We stayed up half the night talking last night.
SHELBY: I can’t believe I’m getting so worked up over something as silly as a haircut.
CLAIREE: You look precious.
TRUVY: It’s O.K., honey. Please don’t… please don’t cry because you know… I will, too. I have a strict policy that no one cries alone in my presence.
CLAIREE: Ladies… Ladies. Please. Remind me never to take these two to see Dark Victory. They’d never survive.
ANNELLE: It’s very becoming. I guess with that baby, you don’t have time to spend hours fussing with your hair. You need something you can just run your fingers through and go.
CLAIREE: It’s totally adorable. Your mother’s going to love it.
TRUVY: I am going to paint my front door red and change my name to Elizabeth Arden.
CLAIREE: Manicures, saucy new hairdos. What’s going on?
SHELBY: We’re always up to something…you know that. But I want to get back to this Drew and Belle nonsense. I hope they reconcile with Marshall. Speaking as a parent, they better get their act together. I do not approve of friction between parents and children.
CLAIREE: Oh, I think it’ll all blow over. I have to admit. He did go about it the wrong way.
TRUVY: What did he do?
CLAIREE: He marched in unexpected from Los Angeles while Drew and Belle were preparing for the annual Marmillion shrimp boil. Marshall without so much as a hello says “Mama and Daddy. I have something to tell you. I have a brain tumor. I have three months to live.” Well naturally Drew and Belle became hysterical. Then Marshall says “Hey folks, I’m just kidding. I’m only gay.”
SHELBY: That was his idea of breaking the news gently?
CLAIREE: Drew became incredibly distraught and started throwing wet shrimp at him, screaming at him to get out of his sight, so Marshall came to my house, smelling like a can of cat food.
TRUVY: What do you think Drew and Belle are feeling right now?
CLAIREE: I don’t know. They just considered themselves to be a model family for so long. First with Nancy Beth dethroned from her Miss Merry Christmas title after that unfortunate motel thing…
TRUVY: Nancy Beth was discovered in a nearby motel with a high political official.
CLAIREE: They were both high. They’d been smoking everything but their shoes.
SHELBY: How do you feel about Marshall?
CLAIREE: Haven’t really thought about it. But I want you to know he’s always welcome at my house. I’m very proud of him. He built up that chain of sportswear stores all by himself without a penny of family money. He says, “I am a self-made man. I pulled myself up by my own jockstraps.”
TRUVY: Well, I’m torn. I’ve got two sons that I’m afraid are going to hell in a handcart and a semi-daughter that strives to be the kind of girl that Jesus would bring home to Mama. I don’t know what to think. I don’t understand those people… but they sometimes seem to have a peace about things that I’ve never had. Maybe I’m just jealous. (Annelle Enters. Subject change!)
CLAIREE: And Marshall is so thoughtful. He brought me this pin. It’s gold and enamel.
TRUVY: It’s a bug.
CLAIREE: It’s fine jewelry. It’s little eyes are rubies, my birthstone.
SHELBY: Does Marshall have a … you know…. friends?
CLAIREE: We talked a little bit about that. Im such a nosy old thing. I asked him how he…met people. ‘Cause in my day you could tell by a man’s carriage and demeanor which side his bread was buttered on. But today? In this day and age? Who knows? I asked Marshall, “How can you tell?” And he said “All gay men have track lighting. And all gay men are named Mark, Rick or Steve.” He is such a nut…track lighting.
OUISER: I love mine. It highlights my new artwork.
CLAIREE: Since when do you have track lighting?
OUISER. Clairee. How many tomatoes do you want? Tomatoes have no calories and are full of…..things.
CLAIREE: Ouiser, you’re almost chipper today. Why are you in such a good mood? Did you run over a small child or something?
OUSIER: Do you or do you not want tomatoes?
CLAIREE: Don’t give me all of ‘em.
OUISER: I am an old Southern woman. We’re supposed to put on funny looking hats and ugly old dresses and grow vegetables in the dirt. don’t ask me why. I don’t make the rules.
CLAIREE: You should get some gloves. Your hands look like a couple of T-bone steaks.
OUISER: I think it is in the worst possible taste to pray for perfect strangers.
CLAIREE: “Reach out” to Ouiser and you’ll pull back a bloody stump. Shelby! I just realized! You’ve saved me a phone call. Next Friday Sis Orelle and I are driving up to Monroe and we’d like to take you and Jackson to dinner if we may.
SHELBY: Uh… I can’t Friday night. I’m sorry. What’s the occasion?
CLAIREE: This is going to sound a little silly, but we’re coming up to go to the Little Theatre. We have tickets to a play.
TRUVY: I didn’t know you went to see anything that didn’t have a goalpost at either end.
CLAIREE: Up to now, I haven’t. But Sis and I decided at bridge one day that we needed to keep up. We wanted to expose ourselves to a little more culture. And that’s not easy to come by in this neck of the woods.
TRUVY. Exactly what are you “exposing” yourself to?
CLAIREE: I don’t know. Something. Last thing we saw was pretty good. It was Shakespeare. I was a little apprehensive at first but you know what? When you get right down to it, he writes pretty straightforward stuff. I have to admit, when they go behind the curtains and put little masks over their faces to fool people, that got kind of silly. Sis fell for it but I didn’t.
