Act Two Flashcards

1
Q

R: Are you speaking to me now?

A

NO!

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2
Q

R: But Eloise…..

A

Don’t talk to me, Ralph.

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3
Q

R: I’m sorry.

A

You told me Harold was gone!

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4
Q

R: He was gone. But he came back. Everything worked out.

A

Worked out? I lost my campaign manager, my speech writer and a potential donor!

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5
Q

R: But we’re not in jail.

A

Only because Mrs. Goldman is insane and those police officers were called to a robbery! Ralph, my campaign is over.

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6
Q

R: Diane isn’t the only campaign manager out there.

A

She’s the only one that wins campaigns. I’m going upstairs, Ralph.

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7
Q

R: I’ll be up as soon as the caterer leaves.

A

I’ve got a better idea. Stay down here.

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8
Q

R: YES YOU DID! YOU TOOK JIMMY WITH YOU!

A

RALPH! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR YOUR VOICE!

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9
Q

Baxter: [speech about hangaway] I’m gonna get another drink.

A

Ralph? Is the caterer gone? Ralph?…You’re still here?

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10
Q

B: I’m …uh….finishing up

A

It looks like you’re eating a sandwich.

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11
Q

B: Yes, I…uh…brought my dinner.

A

Where is my husband?

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12
Q

B: He and that other guy left.q

A

What Other guy?

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13
Q

B: Harold.

A

Harold? What was Harold doing here?

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14
Q

B: Looking for Jimmy

A

Didn’t Jimmy leave with Noel?

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15
Q

B: He left with the Texas people

A

Why is my husband looking for Jimmy?

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16
Q

B: I just work here, ma’am. And speaking of work I need the rest of the money.

A

I am going to strangle him! I wonder where the Pitmans are staying?

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17
Q

H: It’s a little late for that.

A

There you are!

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18
Q

R: Eloise! I thought you were upstairs

A

I went to the Pitmans’ hotel to find you! Ralph, I am so angry with you! If Jimmy wasn’t here, I’d dismember you one appendage at a time!

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19
Q

H: I don’t think Jimmy’ll mind.

A

Why are you here?

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20
Q

H: I was helping Ralph

A

You can’t help anyone! All you can do is mess things up!

21
Q

R: That’s not very nice

A

All I wanted to do was run for Congress. Anyone in this country should be able to run for public office.

22
Q

H: Anyone with enough money…and no moral conscience. And a really mean campaign manager, and a speech writer who can twist words and phrases and trash their opponent faster than their opponent can trash him. Or in your case, her.

A

Not everyone in politics is unscrupulous. Look at Jimmy.

23
Q

H: Now might not be a good time to bring up that little detail.

A

WHAT little detail?

24
Q

H: I’m not going by the river.

A

I’m going back upstairs. Goodnight, Jimmy.

25
Q

R: Harold! Get Jimmy out of my house!

A

Ralph, why are the Pitmans standing in our bathtub?

26
Q

Linda: If you don’t be quiet you’re going to have to wait in the car! Why are the cars in your driveway parked in a different order?

A

They all left after you left. I have no idea why they came back.

27
Q

Diane: He is not! He’s Eloise’s uncle!

A

He’s not my uncle. I thought he came here with Noel.

28
Q

Emma: I thought he was Ralph’s brother

A

Ralph doesn’t have a brother.

29
Q

Others: (to Harold) You brought him here?

A

Ralph?

30
Q

Linda: What was an accident??

A

Ad lib i.e. “I have no idea what’s going on here. All I want to do is run for Congress and serve the public. AND get my picture in Newsweek! It wasn’t supposed to be this difficult. I shouldn’t have to deal with people like Diane and the Pitmans and Noel. I know this whole thing is Harold’s fault. He is nothing but trouble…

31
Q

Linda: That’s better! Now, do NOT talk at the same time.

A

Okay.

32
Q

Linda: this man is dead. Others: I know.

A

WHAT?????

33
Q

All: It was an accident.

A

It’s Harold’s fault.

34
Q

Linda: What are you talking about?

A

Jimmy

35
Q

Linda: This man has been dead for hours.

A

WHAT???

36
Q

Linda: Who is he?

A

Jimmy.

37
Q

Linda: How did he get here if he was already dead?

A

He wasn’t dead! I talked with him!

38
Q

Linda: Call the station and tell ‘em we’re going to need transportation for the body and eight suspects. Others: What? NO!

A

Do you believe me now, Ralph. EVERY time we’re around Harold is WORSE than the time before!

39
Q

R: I know Eloise. But it really wasn’t his fault

A

WASN’T his FAULT?? He brought a dead man to our house!

40
Q

Linda: Enough with the metaphors

A

I was thinking this couldn’t get any worse…but it did!

41
Q

H: They’re trying to stay out of prison.

A

YOU brought Jimmy here!

42
Q

H: Now his name is Vinny

A

If anyone is going to prison, it’s you!

43
Q

L: Nobody’s going to prison because of Vinny Delucciano.

A

Why not?

44
Q

L: There are a few remaining facts. Like the fact that you moved a body. You knocked down a lightpole and almost hit a pedestrian! She filed a report saying she was run down by a spaceship!

A

That would be Mrs. Goldman.

45
Q

R: Harold actually did something right.

A

What are you talking about?

46
Q

R: He saved your campaign

A

HE brought a dead man into my house!

47
Q

R: But it all worked out. It even worked out better. You have Diane and Noel and the Pitmans over a barrel. You’re the only one who didn’t know Jimmy was dead.

A

That’s insane. And I don’t ever want to see Harold again!

48
Q

Harold: You can’t miss him. Six four. 290 pounds. Lots of tattoos. Just ignore him. And his gang. Unless they’re armed. Then,, we’ll run out the back door.

A

offstage: RALPH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!