Attraction And Intimacy Flashcards
Why should we need intimacy
Need to belong
- being social animals we have need to belong and connect with others
- serves many purposes from basic survival to procreation
What is intimacy
Knowledge- share information, histories, preferences, feelings, desires
Care- feel more affection for one another, understand and appreciate each other
Interdependence- the extent to reach the need and influence for each other
Mutuality- recognise the overlap between their lives and think of themselves as us instead of me or him/her
Trust- an expectation that an intimate partner will treat one fairly and honourably
Commitment- they expect their partnership continue indefinitely, and invest the time and effort to realise that goal
Is it painful not to belong
After divorce people have higher blood pressure and weaker immune system than they did in relationships
Happy and satisfied partnerships lead to greater well being than unhappy ones do
What is ostracism
Act of excluding or ignoring
May leave people feeling depressed, anxious, hurt and stressed
What is the impact of ostracism
Experiments showed that ostracism causes heightened activity in a brain cortex area that also is activated in response to physical pain
What leads to friendship and attraction?
Proximity
- we develop long term relationships with those near us
- we are more likely to marry or develop long term relationships with those in close proximity
Convenience
- relationships with distance partners are ordinarily less satisfying than they would be if the partner were nearby
Exposure
- familiarity breeds attraction, familiarity= feelings of safety unfamiliarity= feelings of danger
Psychical attractiveness
- physical attractiveness is a good predictor of how one typically dates
What is functional distance
functional distance: how often people’s paths cross, with whom you interact most frequently
What is the bias for beauty?
What is beautiful is good e.g. Cinderella is good, ugly step sisters is bad
Presumption that physically attractive people possess other socially desirable traits as well e.g. Happier, sexually warm,intelligent and successful
Who is pretty
Attractiveness is whatever the people of any given place and time find attractive
What leads to long term relationships
Similarity vs complimentarity
-friends, engaged couples and spouses are more likely to share common attitudes, beliefs and values
The greater the similarity, the happier the couples
It is reassuring and rewarding to meet others who are just like us
Liking those who like us
- people are reluctant to risk rejection, liking is usually mutual. We like one who says positive things rather than negative things
Do opposites attract?
Do opposites attract?
Similarity prevails over opposites attracting for long term relationships
What is fatal attraction?
When a relationship is killed by whatever sparked it.
What is the fundamental basic of attraction?
A matter of rewards- another factor that just influences longer term relationships
Reward theory of attraction- psychologists believe we are attracted to those we find it satisfying
What are important differences between heterosexual and homosexual relationships?
Same sex couples may behave differently than heterosexual couples because of the sexes of the people involved
Homosexual relationships have better relationships than heterosexual relationships
How do we measure love?
Sternbergs 1998 Triangle consisting of three components
- passion
- intimacy
- commitment
