chapter 10

Question 1

what are the three major ego states?

Answer 1

parent, child, adult

Question 2

type of parent ego state that uses advising responses that are judgmental, opinionated, demanding, disapproving

Answer 2

critical parent

Question 3

type of parent ego state that uses reassuring responses that are protecting permitting, consoling, nurturing, etc

Answer 3

sympathetic parent

Question 4

the two types of parent ego states

Answer 4

critical and sympathetic

Question 5

type of child ego state that responds to probing style showing curiosity, fun, fantasy, or impulsiveness

Answer 5

natural child

Question 6

type of child ego state that responds with rebelliousness, pouting, anger, fear, anxiety, inadequacy, or procrastination

Answer 6

adapted child

Question 7

the two types of child ego states

Answer 7

natural and adapted child

Question 8

the ego state where responses are rational, calculating, factual, and unemotional; behavior is cool and calm; avoid getting caught up in others’ emotions; and is the most effective behavior

Answer 8

adult ego state

Question 9

what are the three types of transactions within the ego states

Answer 9

complementary, crossed, and ulterior

Question 10

type of transaction when the sender of the message gets the intended response from the receiver

Answer 10

complementary

Question 11

type of transaction when the sender of the message does not get the expected response from the receiver

Answer 11

crossed

Question 12

type of transaction where the person appears to be in one ego state, but his or her behavior comes from a different ego state

Answer 12

ulterior

Question 13

what are life positions in human relations?

Answer 13

your attitudes toward yourself and others; “OK” = positive attitude and “Not OK” = negative attitudes

Question 14

any behavior that implies recognition of another’s presence

Answer 14

stroking

Question 15

strokes can be:

Answer 15

positive (praise) or negative (being hurtful)

Question 16

the process of expressing thoughts and feelings while asking for what one wants in an appropriate way

Answer 16

assertiveness

Question 17

avoidance of behavior or an accommodation of the party’s wishes without standing up for one’s own rights (comes from the “I’m not OK” life position)

Answer 17

passive behavior

Question 18

_________ behavior is often based in fear: fear of rejection, retaliation, hurting others, or being hurt

Answer 18

passive

Question 19

behavior that comes primarily through the adapted child and the critical parent ego states, often through anger

Answer 19

aggressive behavior

Question 20

the three ways passive-aggressive behavior is displayed

Answer 20

sporadically, situationally, and building up hostility

Question 21

a way passive-aggressive behavior is displayed where a person is aggressive one time and passive the next

Answer 21

sporadiaclly

Question 22

a way passive-aggressive behavior is displayed where a person is passive during the communication but aggressive later

Answer 22

situationally

Question 23

a way passive-aggressive behavior is displayed where after the repeated behavior happens often enough, the passive person becomes aggressive

Answer 23

building up hostility

Question 24

behavior that comes from the adult ego state and the “I’m OK–you’re OK” life position

Answer 24

assertive behavior

Question 25

traits of assertive people

Answer 25

not threatened by others, do not let others control their behavior, stay calm, have a positive self-image

Question 26

what are the steps of assertiveness?

Answer 26

set an objective, determine how to create a win-win, develop assertive phrases, and implement your plan persistently

Question 27

what are the causes of anger?

Answer 27

frustration, fear, stress, ostracism, bullying, abusive coworkers or supervisors

Question 28

effects of anger

Answer 28

less productive, can cause anxiety, depression, sleepless nights, and heart problems

Question 29

how to deal with your own anger

Answer 29

don't dwell, let it go, be assertive and not passive, develop a positive attitude, use rational thinking, look for positives, etc

Question 30

how to deal with others anger

Answer 30

keep distance, stay calm, slow down, return hostility with kindness, be empathetic

Question 31

what to watch to prevent workplace violence:

Answer 31

verbal threats, nonverbal communication, stalking, harassment, and bullying

Question 32

exists whenever two or more people disagree

Answer 32

conflict

Question 33

conflict arises when our expectations aren't being met; we don't let others know what we expect, we do not find the expectations of others, and we assume everyone's expectations are the same as ours

Answer 33

psychological contract

Question 34

what are the five conflict management styles

Answer 34

forcing, avoiding, accommodating, compromising, and collaborating

Question 35

conflict style where user attempts to resolve conflicts by using aggression

Answer 35

forcing conflict style

Question 36

conflict style where user tries to passively ignore the conflict instead of resolving it

Answer 36

avoiding conflict style

Question 37

conflict style where the user attempts to resolve conflict by passively giving into the other party

Answer 37

accommodating conflict style

Question 38

conflict style where where the user attempts to resolve through assertive give-and-take concessions

Answer 38

compromising conflict style

Question 39

conflict style where the user has an assertive attempt to resolve conflict with the best solution agreeable to all parties

Answer 39

collaborating conflict style

Question 40

steps for.... step 1: plan to maintain ownership of problem using XYZ model step 2: implement your plan persistently step 3: make an agreement for change

Answer 40

initiating conflict resolution

Question 41

steps for.... step 1: listen and paraphrase the problem using XYZ model step 2: agree with some part of the problem step 3: ask and/or give alternatives step 4: make an agreement for change

Answer 41

responding to conflict resolution

Question 42

steps for.... step 1: each party states their side using the XYZ model step 2: agree on problems step 3: develop alternative solutions step 4: make an agreement for change and follow up

Answer 42

mediating conflict resolution steps