Chapter 4 Intimacy

Question 1

Is key but it varies from person to person to person, memorable- first moment

Answer 1

Attraction

Question 2

Psychological phenomenon that whatever is seen to be good/better people
(Tend to do better in job interview and tend to make more money)

Answer 2

Beautiful is better bias

Question 3

How close you are to each other in terms of physical distance

Answer 3

Proximity effect

Question 4

Relationships tend to do better when they share a lot of similarities

Answer 4

Similarity

Question 5

Subtle behavior that suggests an interest- tends to be very safe

1) the approach
2) talk
3) swivel and turn
4) touch
5) synchronization

Answer 5

Flirting

Question 6

Should want each other/ be attracted to each other at the same level

Answer 6

Reciprocity of attraction

Question 7

3 components: intimacy, passion, commitment

Answer 7

Triangular theory of love

Question 8

Emotional closeness, safety in Robert sternbergs triangular theory of love

Answer 8

Intimacy

Question 9

Sexual attraction, butterflies, sex lives in Robert sternbergs triangular theory of love

Answer 9

Passion

Question 10

Strength of commitment to each other in Robert sternbergs triangular theory of love

Answer 10

Commitment

Question 11

6 different styles of love

Answer 11

John lees Styles of Love

Question 12

Short lasting, erotic, excitement, love the high of a new relationship

Answer 12

Eros love

Question 13

Player, attracted to the chase

Answer 13

Ludus love

Question 14

Friendship love, peaceful, caring

Answer 14

Storge love

Question 15

Clingy, can’t be apart, extremely jealous

Answer 15

Mania love

Question 16

Practical, rational, kinda have a plan of how things should work out

Answer 16

Pragma love

Question 17

Selfless love, give more than take, can’ be happy unless partners happy, tend to not look out for their own needs

Answer 17

Agape love

Question 18

Validating, volatile, conflict-avoiding

Answer 18

John Gottman’s patterns of effective communication

Question 19

Goal to understand form of communicating

Answer 19

Validating

Question 20

Passionate, heated, stormy feeling, intense, not violent form of communication

Answer 20

Volatile

Question 21

Not as common, okay letting things go and moving forward form of communication

Answer 21

Conflict-avoiding

Question 22

Communication warning sign: it’s okay to do this, “I” statements

I wish I wasn’t the only one doing the dishes

I feel like we don’t spend time alone together

Answer 22

Complaining

Question 23

Communication warning sign: putting the blame on your partner

You never do the dishes

You don’t make time for me

Answer 23

Criticism

Question 24

Communication warning sign: aimed at persons character, needs continue not being met, natural for other person to respond in defensive manner

You just don’t care about our home

Answer 24

Contempt

Question 25

Communication warning sign: response to contempt What do you mean I don’t care about our home I don’t see you shoveling

Answer 25

Defensiveness

Question 26

Communication warning sign: point of no return Silent treatment Giving up

Answer 26

Stonewalling

Question 27

Sharing information about what you like and don’t like (sexual history)

Answer 27

Sexual self-disclosure

Question 28

Benefits of sexual self-disclosure

Answer 28

Reduces unsafe practices Increases discussion of STIs More consistent contraception use (condoms)

Question 29

Barriers of sexual self-disclosure

Answer 29

Lack of information Embarrassment Insecurity about using the right words Sexual taboos Fear of judgement Fear of rejection

Question 30

Guidelines for sexual communication

Answer 30

Knowing what you want Insist on your rights Be responsible

Question 31

Lack of self knowledge (interest, lifestyle changes) Acceptance of myths and stereotypes (men dominant, women passive, men are money makers) Ineffective communication Imbalance of power Low self esteem

Answer 31

Reason relationships end

Question 32

Types of relationship abuse

Answer 32

Physical Emotional Verbal

Question 33

Reasons there are temptations to stay or difficulty leaving

Answer 33

Economic instability: dependent because no access to their money Mental health consequences: no access to counseling or mental help Physical health complications: at drs often for things like IBS Vulnerable population: poverty, racial minorities Can take 4-5 attempts before they actually leave

Question 34

One partner not allowing partner to make decisions about their birth control, in hopes to impregnate and make partner stuck - birth control sabotage - pregnancy options - higher rates of STIs

Answer 34

Reproduction coercion