Conflict in Families

Question 1

What are some different levels of the hierarchy of conflict?

Answer 1

(conflict pressure at the highest)
Crisis
Problem Solving
(the top two levels are likely negative communication )
Decision Making
Need for Decision
（この時点で、conflict=disagreementが発生する)
Expression of Feelings
Discussion of Ideas
Exchange of Daily Events
(ここから３つ目までは、normal life conversation and interactions)

Question 2

What is conflict?

Answer 2

A disagreement that is usually extended over a period of time.
☆conflict itself is not healthy or unhealthy.

Question 3

What is conflict resolution?

Answer 3

How individuals, couples, and families resolve disagreement.

(ここをhealthyにするかunhealthyにするかで行く先が変わる）

Question 4

What is linear causality model?

Answer 4

(initiation): my response is just a direct reaction to your negative communication
Shifts blame to partner

Question 5

What is Circular causality model?

Answer 5

(escalation): I respond negatively to my partner who then in turn responds even more negatively to me

Question 6

What is harsh startup?

Answer 6

When you start a conversation in a severe, sharp, or accusing way(いきなり怒り出す）

Question 7

Explain different styles of intimacy dances (dance of anger).

Answer 7

Dance of anger - two people in the romantic relationship project anxiety

Pursuer-Distancer:
・Issue is closeness and boundaries
・Distancer’s projected self is anxiety about closeness
・Pursuer’s projected self is anxiety about abandonment

Overfunctioner-Underfunctioner:
・Issue is control and structure
・Overfunctioner’s projected self is anxiety about losing control, (e.g. competence)
・Underfunctioner’s projected self is anxiety about gaining control (responsibility)
自分が動きすぎていること、動かなすぎていることを相手のせいにする（あなたが何もしないから、わたしが全部してあげているのよorいつもあなたばかり動いているから、わたしは何もできない）

Question 8

Explain 5 different styles of conflict resolution.

Answer 8

Competitive Style: tend to be aggressive and uncooperative, pursuing personal concerns at the expense of the other. Direct confrontation and try to win. 相手のことではなく、自分が解決したい問題に焦点が当たってしまう。

Collaborative Style: are highly assertive in regard to reaching their goals but have a great deal of concern for the other person. Tend to burn out on relationships.問題解決にエネルギーを使いすぎてしまう。どちらか片方がcontrolling communicationをして相手を説き伏せてしまうことがある。

Compromise Style: identified with the statement “you have to be satisfied with part of the pie”, or “when disagreements occur, you each have to give a little.” Less time consuming. 最高の解決方法に結びつかない。

Avoidance Style: Nonassertive and passive behaviors. Sidestepping and withdrawing from the conflicts. 自分の問題も相手の問題もできるだけ解決を避ける。相手に、問題を気にかけていない、気にしなさすぎると思われて、これがbackfireになりやすい。

Accommodating Style: Nonassertive but cooperative. Put aside personal needs and wants and think about the other’s need first. もしaccommodatorが非を行った人だったら問題がスムーズに解決するけれど、こちらが正しいのに、それでも相手に合わせてしまうことがあるので、その場合は問題になる。Also, could reduce creative options to solve the conflicts.

Question 9

What is true about anger?

Answer 9

Anger can produce feelings of strength and power.