Dealing With A Narc Flashcards
(21 cards)
What does FOG stand for in manipulation tactics?
F = Fear
O = Obligation
G = Guilt
What does CAVA stand for in manipulator goals?
C = Control
A = Approval
V = Validation
A = Attention
What is the primary principle when responding to manipulation?
Mirror intentions rather than reacting to actions
How should you handle extreme statements from manipulators?
Gently highlight the exaggeration and ask clarifying questions to help them reconsider their absolutes
What is the ‘silent reflection’ technique?
Pause before responding to manipulative statements to create space for thinking and deny them immediate emotional feedback
What phrase can help defuse manipulative accusations?
“It seems like…” or “I hear you saying…” to acknowledge feelings without accepting manipulation
How should you maintain emotional control?
Stay deliberately calm and neutral, which makes manipulative tactics appear exaggerated by contrast
What’s an effective way to redirect repetitive manipulation?
Act like you don’t remember their previous point and ask them to explain again, which weakens the manipulation’s effect
How can you reframe manipulative demands?
Convert them into straightforward requests and address the underlying need rather than the manipulative behavior
What’s the best response to emotional escalation?
Maintain consistent calmness while addressing the core issue, not the emotional display
How should you handle guilt-tripping attempts?
Acknowledge their feelings while maintaining your boundaries and redirecting to constructive discussion
What’s the ‘forgetting’ technique?
Pretend to forget their manipulative point and ask them to explain again, which forces them to restart and often weakens their approach
How can you control conversation direction?
Use questions to guide discussion toward addressing real issues rather than emotional manipulation
What should you do when a manipulator uses absolute statements (never/always)?
Gently challenge the absolute by asking for specific examples or clarification
How can you maintain autonomy during manipulation?
Set clear boundaries while showing empathy for underlying needs
What’s the purpose of asking ‘curious’ questions?
To reveal inconsistencies in manipulative logic without direct confrontation
How should you respond to passive-aggressive behavior?
Address the underlying concern directly while maintaining emotional neutrality
What’s the best way to handle manipulative silence?
Continue with normal conversation without trying to fill the silence or take responsibility for their emotional state
How can you protect yourself from FOG tactics?
Recognize when fear, obligation, or guilt are being used and respond to the underlying need instead of the emotional trigger
What’s the most important factor in dealing with manipulation?
Maintaining emotional control while addressing the real issues beneath the manipulative behavior
