Final Flashcards

Question

Adult Attachment types (based on childhood attachment types)

Answer 1

SECURE --> SECURE AVOIDANT --> DISMISSIVE AMBIVALENT/RESISTANT --> PREOCCUPIED

Answer 2

We can be independent only when we have someone to | depend on

Answer 3

• In an attached adult relationship, we can control each others’ physiology or level of arousal > Synchronized blood pressure, breathing, heart rate, breathing hormones • We can teach couples to regulate themselves and each other!

Answer 4

Three main types of triggers (for attachment) 1. Conditions of self • Fatigue, hunger, illness, pain, etc. 2. Conditions of attachment figure • Absent (extended or emotionally), “leaving,” rejecting, giving attention to another, etc.) 3. Conditions of the environment • Alarming events, criticism or rejection by others, etc.

Answer 5

Traditional Behavioral Couples Therapy • Focus on change, specifically behavior change through communication and problem-solving • Couples negotiate change and agree to implement • Early research (18 studies) found TBCT to be the most “efficacious and specific intervention for marital distress” (Baucom et al, 1998) > More effective than control condition (no treatment) > About 1/3 (35%) of couples moved from distressed to non-distressed over course of treatment

Answer 6

• Two common components: 1. Behavior Exchange — Based on social exchange theory (Stuart, 1969)1 2. Communication/Problem Solving Training

Answer 7

Scarcity of positive outcomes available for each partner • Deficits in problem-solving and communication skills • Frequent negative or punishing exchanges by one or both

Answer 8

Integrated Behavioral Couple Therapy assumes that relationship problems result not just from the egregious actions and inactions of partners but also in their emotional reactivity to those behaviors. Therefore, IBCT focuses on the emotional context between partners and strives to achieve greater acceptance and intimacy between partners as well as make deliberate changes in target problems

Answer 9

The IBCT Paradox integrates emotional acceptance and openness to change I accept the things I can not change; I change the things I can

Answer 10

Polarization Process • Attempts to change the other met with resistance; fuel more efforts to change the other; more resistance > Differences become the source of tension1 • Results in... The Mutual Trap > Trap is based on the assumption that “I’m the one suffering in this relationship” 2

Answer 11

1. Moving against the other 2. Moving away from the other 3. Moving toward (hanging on) the other anxiously

Answer 12

* Differences or incompatibilities * Emotional sensitivities * External circumstances/stressors * Patterns of problematic interaction

Answer 13

Acceptance! Not all problems can be resolved with compromise > When compromise fails, partners may begin to respond to each other in rigid, negative, reactive ways • “Acceptance” not meant to promote resignation to the relationship as it is • Addition of emotional acceptance > Instead of negotiating behavioral change negotiate internal choices to act in meaningful ways1

Answer 14

Increased probability that a partner’s emotions will be negative immediately following negativity in the other1 • The extent to which you are more likely to turn negative when your partner is negative (as opposed to when your partner is neutral or positive) • The most consistent correlate of marital satisfaction/ dissatisfaction regardless of culture • Far more predictive than total amount of negative affect in the relationship • Remember: negative interactions are inevitable > Consider reciprocity, frequency, intensity, repair 2

Answer 15

What is the pervasive affect of the relationship (positive or negative)? • Things that happen are interpreted through the lens of the pervasive sentiment override1 1. Positive sentiment override 2. Negative sentiment override

Answer 16

5: 1 during conflict 20: 1 stable/happy couples

Answer 17

1. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse 2. Harsh Startups 3. Flooding 4. Body Language 5. Failed Repair Attempts 6. Bad Memories

Answer 18

During conflict, the presence of these 4 behaviors predicted divorce with 85% accuracy 1. Criticism: statements that imply something is globally wrong with the partner (always, never, etc.) • Women more than men 2. Defensiveness: innocent victim stance 3. Stonewalling: listener withdraws from interaction • Men more than women 27 1. The Four Horsemen... 4. Contempt: the single best predictor of divorce • Seeing self as superior to partner (“you are an idiot”)1 • Happiest marriages had 0 incidents of contempt

Answer 19

Another Gottman MYTH: Couples need to improve problem-solving skills 36 Perpetual Problems Perpetual Problems • Both successful and unsuccessful couples argue about the same topics 69% of the time • Due to inherent personality differences • 69% of marital problems perpetual; 31% solvable Solve the Solvable • Stable couples successfully resolve solvable problems • Validate and repair

Answer 20

Happy couples (Masters) vs unhappy couples (Disasters) 1. Masters are gentle, respectful of partner even when discussing difficult issues • Each takes responsibility for even small part of problem • Look for what’s right in the other and relationship 2. Disasters more likely to point finger at partner • Stating the problem as defect in partner • Look for what’s wrong in the other and relationship1

Answer 21

Biggest difference between the two is the | ability to repair

Answer 22

Stable couples have 5 X as many positive vs negative interactions (5:1) during conflict • Distressed couples may have a .08 :1 ratio ``` 1. Hostile/Engaged Couples • Abusive • Sarcastic • Insulting 2. Hostile/Detached Couples • Disengaged • Unspoken negativity ```

Answer 23

``` Successful marriages have 2 primary elements: 1. Overall sense of positive affect 2. Ability to reduce negative affect during conflict Therapy designed to increase both The Sound Relationship House • This is the Gottman model • Relational elements are within walls of TRUST and COMMITMENT ``` 1. Build love maps 2. Share fondness and admiration 3. Turn towards instead of away 4. The positive perspective 5. Manage conflict 6. Make life dreams come true 7. Create shared meaning

Answer 24

Attention to the emotional communication in interaction

Answer 25

Client Centered and ATTACHMENT THEORY

Answer 26

Identify behavior that (externally) looks provocative, negative, outrageous and maintains distress/ dysfunction — Identify rigid patterns that block emotional engagement — Reframe in terms of best efforts to get needs for connection and attachment met — Access what is emotionally significant for each1

Answer 27

• Assumption that therapeutic alliance is healing by itself • Acceptance & validation of experience central to change > Creates safety in the relationship • Non-pathologizing > Distress is an expected outcome of problematic person/environment/situation • Encourages examination of inner experience (emotion) • We are transformed by our interactions with others 17 What promotes healing? Key is creating corrective emotional experience

Answer 28

When one partner violates the expectation that they will offer comfort and caring in times of danger or distress > Characterized by abandonment or betrayal of trust during a critical moment of need > Becomes a clinically recurring theme > Creates an impasse that blocks relationship repair • Relationship comes to be defined as insecure • Maintains relationship distress > Challenges the dependability of the “offending” partner

Answer 29

``` 1. Primary Emotions • Occur at a deeper level • Tend to be more vulnerable emotions (EX: sadness, hurt, fear, shame, loneliness, etc.) • Tend to draw partner closer 2. Secondary Emotions • More reactive emotions; as reaction to vulnerability of primary emotions • Anger, blame, criticism, etc. • Tend to push partners away ``` Cycle: Pursuer / Withdrawer

Answer 30

If you catch a glimpse of a long black shape in the forest, what process does your body follow? 1. Appraisal: brief, rapid, compelling, global • Limbic area of the brain (amygdala) • Fight or flight response; universal 2. Physiological arousal 3. Compelling action tendency • Decision is how to save itself (fight or flight) • Body either relaxes in relief or kicks into gear

Answer 31

Create new meanings based on exploring stories and | as-yet-unstoried aspects of lives and relationships

Answer 32

``` • 2-Dimensional: Polarized > Healthy vs pathological > Well-functioning vs dysfunctional > Too rigid, too enmeshed > Too much sex, too little sex > Right gender roles, wrong gender roles • Invite thin descriptions ```

Answer 33

1. Listen 2. Deconstructive Listening 3. Deconstructive Questioning 4. Externalizing Conversations 5. Naming the Problem and the Projects 6. Unique Outcomes 7. Absent But Implicit* 8. Developing stories (from UO and ABI) 9. Time: Developing a history of the present* 10. Telling and Witnessing* 11. Relational Identity* 12. Outside Witness Groups 13. Documenting and Circulating New Stories

Answer 34

Focus on what works, what is working

Answer 35

1. Notice what is different when you are getting along 2. If you are having trouble identifying recent exceptions, recall what you were doing differently in the past that made your relationship more satisfying 3. You don’t have to like it, you just have to do it 4. Focus on what’s doable or possible 5. A problem that recurs doesn’t necessarily require a new solution 6. Pay attention to how your conflicts end 7. If you can’t locate any exceptions, identify the best of the worst 8. Notice what’s different about the times the problem occurs but something constructive comes from it 9. Notice what’s different about the times the problem situation occurs but it doesn’t bother you

Answer 36

1. Changing the Viewing (Perspective) 2. Changing the Doing 3. Changing the Context

Answer 37

The IMAGO: The image in our unconscious mind of all the positive and negative traits of our parents We enter adulthood with image of what love means to us > We pick a partner that provides that same kind of love1 > Our romantic partner tends to have similar positive/ negative traits as our parents > Therefore, our romantic partner has the potential to wound us in the same way that our parents wounded us

Answer 38

The image in our unconscious mind of all | the positive and negative traits of our parents

Answer 39

“The Invisible Divorce” A form of “acting out” unspoken, painful feelings by finding satisfaction outside the relationship • With something or someone that acts as a distraction or self-soothing activity > With or without intention > What partners turn to rather than talking about feelings occurring in the relationship • Relationship “energy leaks” • A relationship with an exit is like a tire with a tiny puncture; > Slowly but steadily leaking air; eventually, it goes flat

Answer 40

Any threatened or actual use of physical or sexual force and/or psychological, emotional, or financial abuse against an intimate partner which results in, or has the potential to result in, death, injury, or harm Any violence between intimate partners, including all adult intimate relationship between people regardless of sexual preference, marital status, or age of intimates

Answer 41

``` • Intimidation • Emotional Abuse • Isolation/ Exclusion • Minimize/ Deny/Blame • Using Children • Dominance • Economic Abuse • Threats & Coercion ```

Answer 42

• Describes methods of torture used to break the will or brainwash > Specifically POWs • Domestic violence experts believe that batterers use these same techniques

Answer 43

Normal --> Tension Builds --> Explosion & Violence --> Rationalization and Repair --> Honeymoon (And repeat)

Answer 44

• Code for: It's her fault because she stays • Bottom line: Leaving the relationship often does not end the abuse… > Most abused partners report increased harassment or even violence after they break off the relationship > 75% of women who die due to IPV are killed after leaving the relationship ``` • Financial dependence • Shame/Embarrassment • Health problems or disability • Nowhere to go (isolation) • Fear for life or safety based on threats • Hope2 • Religious beliefs • Too exhausted • Belief that abuser will change • Belief that abuser has changed • Lack of support (isolation) • Children’s love/ attachment to the abuser • I still love him/her • Obligation to him or relationship • Family disapproval • Afraid of being alone • Fear of losing custody3 • Abuser is not always abusive ```

Answer 45

Abuse and coercion seem to exist along with love and friendship in a uniquely painful way • Highly contradictory messages1 • Cycles of love/hate, blame/over-responsibility, hyperbole/minimization, remorse/cynicism2 Like the conflicting messages from the relationship itself, Clinicians run the risk of: • Taking sides vs never taking sides • Exaggerating vs minimizing danger • Reacting vs containing the pathology of splitting • Using one clinical paradigm; rejecting all others3

Answer 46

Break silence, tell everyone

Final Flashcards

(71 cards)