Final Flashcards
(41 cards)
Elements of Attraction
Similarity: similarities help get over differences, provides ego support, convenient
Complimentary: characteristics satisfy each others needs
Reciprocal Attraction: we like people who likes us, boost self esteem
Rewards: social exchange theory- rewards outweigh the costs, more good than bad
Competence: you like their skills or talents
Disclosure: provide information about yourself
Proximity: share space
Relational Transgressions
Lack of Commitment Distance Disrespect Problematic Emotions Aggressions
Indicators of a Committed Relationship
Providing affection
Providing support
Maintaining integrity
Sharing companionship
Knapp’s Relationship Escalation
- Initiation: impressions
- Experimenting: ask questions to gain information and decide if they wish to continue the relationship
- Intensifying: more commitment, self-disclosure becomes more common, less formal
- Integrating: individuals become a pair, do things together, shared relational identity
- Bonding: formal, sometimes legal announcement of the relationship is made. Marriage, legal
Knapp’s Termination Model
- Differentiating: assert independence
- Circumscribing: communication diminishes
- Stagnating: avoid discussing the relationship
- Avoiding: physically separate
- Termination: divorce, roommates move out, can be positive or negative
Gibbs Categories for Defensive & Supportive Climates
Evaluation vs. Description -judging, vs. observe Neutrality vs. Empathy -indifferent, caring Superiority vs. Equality -hierarchical mindset vs. same page, eye to eye
Interpersonal Intimacy Defined
-State of closeness, ability to be yourself and still be accepted by the other person. Even on your worst day they will accept you
Dimensions of Intimacy
Intellectual: meeting of minds, talk about school, lighting in movies
Emotional: share feelings
Physical: touch, contact, sex
Shared Activities: roommates, workout buddies, party friends
Relational Dialectics Theory
3 tensions in relationships:
- autonomy vs. connection: by yourself, alone vs. want to be with other person
- novelty vs. prediction: new vs. dependable
- openness vs. closedness: sharing disclosure vs. private
Self-Disclosure Definition
The process of deliberately revealing information about ourselves that is significant and would not otherwise be known
Social Penetration Theory
The type and amount of information that we disclosure will vary in both breadth and depth
- Breadth: how many different topics you discuss, school, fears, hobbies, etc.
- Depth: how much you disclose about that topic
Types of information disclosed
- cliches
- facts
- opinions
- feelings
Johari Window Model of Self Disclosure
- half known to self, what you know about yourself; other half not known about self
- top known to others, bottom not know to others
- top left:open
- top right: blind
- bottom left: hidden
- bottom right: unknown
Risks of disclosure
- Hurt other person
- Rejection
Benefits of disclosure
- catharsis:inner peace, unloading, therapeutic
- self-validation: seek approval
- self-clarification:tell people about yourself so they know how you are
- relationship enhancement: improves relationship
Guidelines for Self Disclosure
-Moral obligation to disclose?
-kids, std
-Think about the importance of the relationship
Appropriate? Relevant?
-Reciprocity: share back
Alternatives to Self-Disclosure
- lying
- equivocating: could mean anything, unclear, leave with possible interpretations
- hinting: telling what you preferred without being direct
Disconfirming Messages
- Impervious Response: doesn’t acknowledge the other persons message
- Interrupting: speaking before other person has finished talking
- Irrelevant Responses: A comment unrelated to what the other person has just said
- Tangential: goes off on tangents, uses other persons remarks as a starting point for a completly different topic
- Impersonal: loaded with cliches and never truly responds to speaker
- Ambiguous: contain messages with more than one meaning
- Incongruous Responses: contains two messages that seem to deny or contradict each other, “I love you” in monotone
Disconfirming Message: Impervious Response:
Doesn’t acknowledge the other persons message, ignoring, “stonewalling”
Disconfirming-Confirming
- aggressiveness
- complaining
- argumentativeness
- recognition: hi, hi
- acknowledgment: engage, conversations, listen
- endorsement: agree with their perspective, if you don’t agree you see where they’re coming from
Ineffective ways of expressing feelings
Commands, questions, accusations, judgements
What to look for in a potential marriage partner
- Is my friend attentive to my needs?
- Am I as concerned for my friend as I am for myself?
- Is my friend truthful?
Conflict
An expressed struggle between at least 2 interdependent parties who perceive incompatable goals, scarce rewards & interference from the other party in achieving their goals
Conflict Management Styles
Collaborating: Work together to come up with a solution everyone is happy with
Compromising: give and take
Competing: win-loose
