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Jokes > Fish Jokes > Flashcards

Fish Jokes Flashcards

1
Q

Why don’t clams give to charity?

A

Because they’re shellfish!

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2
Q

Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?

A

Because they dropped out of school.

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3
Q

Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?

A

Just for the halibut.

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4
Q

How did the shark plead in the murder case?

A

Not gill-ty.

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5
Q

What did the carp say to his crush?

A

Don’t play koi with me!

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6
Q

What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?

A

Can you please be more Pacific?

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7
Q

What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?

A

It a-piers we have a problem.

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8
Q

What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?

A

I think we need to scale things back here.

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9
Q

What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?

A

I don’t quite sea it that way.

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10
Q

What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?

A

Show me your mussels!

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11
Q

What is the best way to communicate with a fish?

A

Drop it a line!

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12
Q

Why does the mermaid wear seashells?

A

Because she grew out of her B-shells.

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13
Q

Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?

A

Pier pressure.

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14
Q

Why did the lobster blush?

A

Because the sea weed.

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15
Q

What did the sarcastic otter say?

A

I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.

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16
Q

What does a mermaid wear to math class?

A

An algae-bra, naturally.

17
Q

Where do shellfish go to borrow money?

A

The prawn broker.

18
Q

What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?

A

Whale of Fortune.

19
Q

What did the Ocean say to the shore?

A

Nothing. It just waved.

20
Q

What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?

A

Licence to Krill.

21
Q

Where does seaweed look for a job?

A

In the kelp-wanted section.

22
Q

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A

A nervous wreck.

23
Q

What does seaweed say when it’s stuck at the bottom of the sea?

A

“Kelp! Kelp!”

24
Q

Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?

A

Because they spend years at C!

25
Q

Why didn’t the two algae ever have sex?

A

Because they had a planktonic relationship

26
Q

What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?

A

The Codfather.

27
Q

What do baleen whales call a hook-up?

A

Netflix and krill.

28
Q

Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?

A

All the sailors were marooned.

29
Q

What did the wise papa fish tell his son?

A

Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.

30
Q

Where does a killer whale go for braces?

A

The orca-dontist.

31
Q

Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?

A

He didn’t have a leg to stand on.

32
Q

Why do freshwater fish cry so much?

A

They’re just a stream of emotions

Jokes (2 decks)

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