Friendship and romantic relationships Flashcards
What did Baumeister & Leary, 1995 say about the fundamental need to belong?
An evolutionary basis for seeking relationships –> the idea is that we are somehow biologically evolved to seek out contact
The need to belong is universal –> there seems to be a universal tendency – we don’t know of any culture or society that prefer to live in isolation or try to minimise social contact
The need to belong guides social cognition
The need to belong is satiable –> the longing can be satisfied by social contact
There will be profound negative consequences if the need is not met
What reasons are there for affiliating?
Hill 1987
Reduce uncertainty through comparing with others
Be positively stimulated
Obtain confirmation and recognition
Receive emotional support
How is social support have a buffer effect?
Cohen & Hoberman, 1983
As expected, people that reported being more stressed were suffering from more physical symptoms. However, this relationship was far more pronounced for those who reported not having any social support.
Social support can function as a buffer so you can cope with a lot more stress in your life.
What is the relational self-theory?
Anderson & Chen, 2002
This theory argues that we have a portfolio of sets of identities that we build up in relation to other people. You’re not exactly the same person, but you behave in a certain way towards your mum, friends and teachers etc. If you meet someone who reminds you of one of these people, you start acting like you did with that person.
- Relational selves are build in interactions (together with associated beliefs, feelings, etc.)
- People who remind us of prior significant others activate these relational selves
- We start behaving and feeling towards them as we did to the prior significant other
This is almost similar to the Freudian concepts of projection and counter transference. This is where you bring things from your past and project it onto someone in the present even if it’s not necessarily appropriate.
What are attachment styles and what do they show?
It’s a developmental basis for how we conduct our relationships (Ainsworth, 1970).
They identified three main attachment styles.
Secure - finds it easy to get close to others, comfortable with mutual dependence, doesn’t worry about being abandoned.
Avoidant - uncomfortable being close, difficult to trust and doesn’t like to depend on others
Anxious - feels others are reluctant to get as close as one would like, worries that the partner doesn’t really love them, extreme desire to merge with other which might put them off
What type of relationships are there?
Clark & Mills, 1993
There are exchange relationships and communal relationships.
Exchange relationships are very business-like, it may be beneficial towards both people. They could continue for as long as it’s beneficial and then they can move on. They feel no obligation to take care of one another’s wellbeing etc.
In comparison in communal relationships, they feel mutual responsibility. The support that people require is defined in terms of the need principle rather than the equity principle. You look for what support the person needs and help them with whatever they require which wouldn’t happen in the workplace. E.g., with family.
What is social exchange theory?
(Thibault & Kelly, 1959)
According to social exchange theory, social behavior involves social exchanges where people are motivated by obtaining something of value (reward) in exchange for forfeiting something else of value (cost).
Relationship satisfaction depends on comparison level –> you compare with relationships from the past and see if you are faring better or worse. This also depends on perceived alternatives
The idea of the social exchange theory is that we enter relationships with others if we can maximise our own utility. Maximising your own utility is when your rewards outweigh your costs. Relationships can be costly, but you also get something in return – you know that these people will also help you when you need it.
Sometimes you see a mismatch in terms of age and perceived attractiveness in relationships, but often the two are getting something out of it. There are other dimensions brought to the relationship that can balance it out e.g., in monetary terms.
What is a limitation of the social exchange theory?
People do not always act in self-interested ways (i.e., maximizing rewards and minimizing costs). For instance, in intimate relationships, people act communally, working for the benefit of their partner or relationship, sometimes even at great cost to oneself.
What is imago theory/therapy?
Hendrix 1980
This theory explains why we choose a specific partner that resembles our parents because it’s a chance to heal childhood wounds.
It allows people to relive areas of their childhood that weren’t that positive such as aggression, violence, alcoholism, being ignored and other negative experiences. They look for a romantic partner that puts them in the same situation to overcome the challenge in a better way, because as children we weren’t well equipped to deal with a lot of negative things we were faced with. E.g., if someone grew up with an alcoholic parent, they’re more likely to have a romantic partner later on.
What is the halo effect?
Thorndike, 1920
The halo effect is a type of cognitive bias whereby our perception of someone is positively influenced by our opinions of that person’s other related traits.
e.g., if someone is physically attractive, everything else will appear in a more positive light – it affects judgement on totally unrelated issues.
What are the effects of physical attractiveness?
Signal & Landy, 1973
Someone’s physical attractiveness is also dependent on who they affiliate with.
Two confederates behaved as a couple or as if they didn’t know each other at all. The female confederate was made to look attractive and ugly using makeup and clothing. Participants had to rate the male confederate.
Researchers found that if the female confederate was made to look attractive and if she was portrayed to be his girlfriend, then the male confederate was judged as much more physically attractive. This is an example of how our perception of the world is informed by what we know about each other.
What evidence is there of physical arousal being misattributed due to attractiveness?
- Participants were told that they would be given electrical shocks
- A female confederate was present
- Men who expected severe rather than light shocks thought the woman was more attractive!
- –> Misattribution of physical arousal
What is the matching hypothesis?
Goffman 1952
Relationship aspiration = desire for goal + perceived probability of goal attainment
This theory argues that we seek relationships with others that we think are of a similar attractiveness to ourselves.
What are the different types of love?
According to Aronson 1952, there are different types of love; passionate and companionate.
Passionate • Intense longing • Physiological arousal • Feelings of great fulfilment and ecstasy when reciprocated • New romantic relationships/ Limerence
Companionate • Intimacy and affection • Deep care for the other • Not necessarily passion or arousal in their presence • Mature romantic rel’ships
What is Sternberg’s triangular theory of love?
Sternberg 1986
There are three components; commitment, passion and intimacy.
Intimacy and passion leads to romantic and passionate love.
Intimacy and commitment leads to companionate love.
Lastly, commitment, passion and intimacy leads to consummate love.
