Get People To My POV Flashcards
(38 cards)
What should be done if one yells?
The other should listen. When 2 people yell, there’s no communication, just noise and bad vibrations.
Welcome the disagreement?
If there’s a point I haven’t thought about, be thankful it’s brought to my attention.
Distrust my first instinctive impression?
Keep calm. Watch out for my first reaction of defence
Control my temper?
The size of a person is measured by what makes him or her angry.
Listen first?
Give opponents a chance to talk. Let them finish.
Look fire areas of agreement?
Dwell on the points which I agree on.
Promise to think over my opponent’s ideas? And mean it?
They may be right. Agreeing to it is way better than a “we told you so, but you wouldn’t listen!”
Thank my opponents for their interest?
Think of them as people who really want to help me.
What did Buddha say about hatred?
“Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love.”
9/10 how do arguments end (in terms of new beliefs)?
Each contestant is more firmly convinced ever about his own opinion.
What should be done to change their POV instead of saying “you’re wrong.”?
Ask questions in a friendly, cooperative manner. Be very careful not to let him think I’m making an issue of this point.
What did Ben Franklin do when hit with stinging truth?
What would he do when asserted with what he thought was an error?
He was big and wise enough to realise it was true, then began to change immediately.
Began by observing how his opinion may be right.
When we are wrong, we may admit it to ourselves. But in what case will we admit it to others?
Only when we are handled gently and tactfully we may admit it to others and even take pride in our broad-mindedness
Instead of instinctively reacting with “that’s right/wrong”, What should be done?
Understand precisely what the meaning of the statement is to the other person.
There’s magic in such phrases as “I may be wrong, I frequently am. Let’s examine the facts.” Why?
I will never get into uncle but admitting that I may be wrong.
What type of person defends their mistakes?
Any fool can try to defend their mistakes - and most of them do
How can I take the fight out of one who is criticising me?
Be EAGER to criticise myself. If I’m going to be criticised anyway, do it myself. Beat them to it.
If I criticise myself before them, why would they not be heated at me?
By being human, receiving a feeling of importance comes from taking the magnanimous attitude of showing mercy.
The Greek fable about the sun and the wind trying to get the coat of the man. What is the message?
Kindliness, the friendly approach and appreciation can make people change their minds more readily than all the bluster and storming in the world.
How can I begin in a friendly way?
- Be very calm (no temper). Friendly.
- Compliment them. Their job, company, choices, anything that represents them.
- Or sympathise with their view point
- When time is right, address the ‘little’ problem
What are some phrases to begin in a friendly way?
“This may, perhaps, be worth thinking of. Here are some facts that I trust you will not lose sight of.”
“You, with your knowledge of human nature, will easily see the significance of these facts.”
Why is it important to begin friendly?
If a man’s heart is rankling with discord and ill feelings towards me, I can’t win him to my way of thinking, even with all the logic in the world.
But they may be lead to, if I am gentle and friendly.
How can I get them to say “yes, yes”? Provide some examples.
Make the questions very easy to answer.
“Isn’t that so?”
“Is that correct?”
Keep on emphasising on things that we agree on. Make it that we are both striving for the same end.
What happens when a person says no? What about yes?
No = The entire organism (glandular, nervous, muscular) gathers itself into a condition of rejection. It is all set on guard against acceptance.
Yes = the exact opposite
