Goldie Pinklesweet

Question 1

1st Stanza
(Hint: Attention please! Attention please)

Answer 1

“Attention please! Attention please!
Don’t dare to talk! Don’t dare to sneeze!
Don’t doze or daydream! Stay awake!
Your health, your very life’s at stake!

Question 2

2nd Stanza
(Hint: Ho–ho, you say, they can't mean me)

Answer 2

Ho–ho, you say, they can't mean me.
Ha–ha, we answer, wait and see.
Did any of you ever meet
A child called Goldie Pinklesweet?
Who on her seventh birthday went
To stay with Granny down in Kent.

Question 3

3rd Stanza
(Hint: At lunchtime on the second day)

Answer 3

At lunchtime on the second day
Of dearest little Goldie’s stay,
Granny announced, ‘I’m going down
To do some shopping in the town.’

Question 4

4th Stanza
(Hint: D'you know why Granny didn't tell)

Answer 4

(D’you know why Granny didn’t tell
The child to come along as well?
She’s going to the nearest inn
To buy herself a double gin.)

Question 5

5th Stanza
(Hint: So out she creeps. She shuts the door.)

Answer 5

So out she creeps. She shuts the door.
And Goldie, after making sure
That she is really by herself,
Goes quickly to the medicine shelf,

Question 6

6th Stanza
(Hint: 'And there, her little greedy eyes')

Answer 6

And there, her little greedy eyes
See pills of every shape and size,
Such fascinating colors too ––
Some green, some pink, some brown, some blue.

Question 7

7th Stanza
(Hint: 'All right,' she says, 'let's try the brown!')

Answer 7

‘All right,’ she says, ‘let’s try the brown,’
She takes one pill and gulps it down.
‘Yum–yum!’ she cries. ‘Hooray! What fun!
They’re chocolate–coated, every one!’

Question 8

8th Stanza
(Hint: She gobbles five, she gobbles ten)

Answer 8

She gobbles five, she gobbles ten,
She stops her gobbling only when
The last pill’s gone. There are no more.
Slowly she rises from the floor.

Question 9

9th Stanza
(Hint: She stops. She hiccups. Dear, oh dear,)

Answer 9

She stops. She hiccups. Dear, oh dear,
She starts to feel a trifle queer.
You see, how could young Goldie know,
For nobody had told her so,
That Grandmama, her old relation
Suffered from frightful constipation.

Question 10

10th Stanza
(Hint: This meant that every night she'd give)

Answer 10

This meant that every night she’d give
Herself a powerful laxative,
And all the medicines that she’d bought
Were naturally of this sort.

Question 11

11th Stanza
(Hint: The pink and red and blue and green)

Answer 11

The pink and red and blue and green
Were all extremely strong and mean.
But far more fierce and meaner still,
Was Granny’s little chocolate pill.

Question 12

12th Stanza
(Hint: Its blast effect was quite uncanny)

Answer 12

Its blast effect was quite uncanny.
It used to shake up even Granny.
In point of fact she did not dare
To use them more than twice a year.
So can you wonder little Goldie
Began to feel a wee bit moldy?

Question 13

15th Stanza
(Hint: Young Goldie clutched herself and cried)

Answer 13

Young Goldie clutched herself and cried,
'There's something wrong with my inside!'
This was, we very greatly fear,
The understatement of the year.
For wouldn't any child feel crummy,
With loud explosions in her tummy?

Question 14

16th Stanza
(Hint: Granny, at half past two, came in)

Answer 14

Granny, at half past two, came in,
Weaving a little from the gin,
But even so she quickly saw
The empty bottle on the floor.

Question 15

17th Stanza
(Hint: 'My precious laxatives!' she cried)

Answer 15

‘My precious laxatives!’ she cried.
‘I don’t feel well,’ the girl replied.
Angrily Grandma shook her head.
‘I’m really not surprised,’ she said.

Question 16

18th Stanza
(Hint: 'Why can't you leave my pills alone?')

Answer 16

'Why can't you leave my pills alone?'
With that, she grabbed the telephone
And shouted, 'Listen, send us quick
An ambulance! A child is sick!
It's number fifty, Fontwell Road!
Come fast! I think she might explode!'

Question 17

19th Stanza
(Hint: We're sure you do not wish to hear)

Answer 17

We’re sure you do not wish to hear
About the hospital and where
They did a lot of horrid things
With stomach–pumps and rubber rings.

Question 18

20th Stanza
(Hint: Let's answer what you want to know;)

Answer 18

Let’s answer what you want to know;
Did Goldie live or did she go?
The doctors gathered round her bed,
‘There’s really not much hope,’ they said.

Question 19

21st Stanza
(Hint: 'She's going, going gone!' they cried)

Answer 19

'She's going, going, gone!' they cried.
'She's had her chips! She's dead! She's died!"
'I'm not so sure,' the child replied.
And all at once she opened wide
Her great big bluish eyes and sighed,

Question 20

22nd Stanza
(Hint: And gave the anxious docs a wink)

Answer 20

And gave the anxious docs a wink,
And said, 'I'll be okay, I think.'
So Goldie lived and back she went
At first to Granny's place in Kent.
Her father came the second day
And fetched her in a Chevrolet,

Question 21

23rd Stanza
(Hint: And drove her to their home in Dover)

Answer 21

And drove her to their home in Dover.
But Goldie's troubles were not over.
You see, if someone takes enough
Of any highly dangerous stuff,
One will invariably find

Question 22

24th Stanza
(Hint: Some traces of it left behind)

Answer 22

Some traces of it left behind.
It pains us greatly to relate
That Goldie suffered from this fate.
She’d taken such a massive fill

Question 23

25th Stanza
(Hint: Of this unpleasant kind of pill)

Answer 23

Of this unpleasant kind of pill,
It got into her blood and bones,
It messed up all her chromosomes,
It made her constantly upset,
And she could never really get

Question 24

26th Stanza
(Hint: The beastly stuff to go away)

Answer 24

The beastly stuff to go away.
And so the girl was forced to stay
For seven hours every day
Within the everlasting gloom
Of what we call The Ladies Room.

Question 25

``` 27th Stanza (Hint: So now, before it is too late) ```

Answer 25

``` So now, before it is too late. Take heed of Goldie's dreadful fate. And seriously, all jokes apart, Do promise us across your heart That you will never help yourself To medicine from the medicine shelf." ```