How to build rapport Flashcards
What is rapport?
Rapport occurs when two or more people feel that they are in sync or on the same wavelength because they feel similar or relate well to each other. Rapport is theorized to include three behavioral components: mutual attention, mutual positivity, and coordination
What are ways to build rapport?
Mirror their body language
Mimic their tonality
During the conversation, breathe like they breathe
Match their rate of speech
maintaining eye contact
Reciprocity
Commonality
Repeat and approve
Assume you already have rapport
How to mirror their body language?
- Posture/Body Movement: Wait 10 seconds, and then shift your body in the same way.
- Gestures: Use the same hand gestures they use, but only when it’s your turn to talk.
- Facial Expressions: Match their facial expressions instantly. If they raise their eyebrows, raise yours to acknowledge their emotion.
- Head Nods: When they nod their head, nod yours instantly to signal agreement or affirmation.
How to mimic their tonality?
- Accents: Copy their accent slightly. You don’t want to come across as mocking them, but listen to how they pronounce words. Mimic them just enough to hint that you might have lived in their part of the country at some point in your life.
- Do they talk loud or soft? You’ll want to talk at their volume level at all times.
- Mimic the depth of their voice. People talk in one of three ways: through their nose, throat, or chest.
What are the three ways people talk?
- *Throat**: A very throaty person will sound similar to Kermit the Frog
- *Nose**: A person who talks through their nose will sound a bit like they’re congested.
- *Chest**: People who talk to their chest usually sound very deep and loud.
Why breathe like they breathe?
This will create a hypnotic synchronization.
Why its important to match their rate of speed?
Some people talk really really fast, and some people talk very s-l-o-w-l-y. If they talk slow and you talk fast, what’s the first thing that might come to someone’s mind? Usually when you hear someone who speaks really fast, your brain links them to a slick fast talking sales person. We automatically go into defense mode: “warning, warning, salesman, salesman!” The opposite scenario would be when you talk slowly to someone who speaks fast. They might think that you’re not very intelligent.
What does it mean by Repeat and approve?
This is so simple yet but probably one that most people often forget. After they speak, make sure you repeat a very brief synopsis of what they say and then approve (excellent, great, amazing, that’s exciting). This shows that you are indeed listening. For some odd reason, people like it when you listen! Learning How to Be a Good Listener helps establish empathy, which is crucial building block of rapport.
Why is it important to assume you already have rapport?
Talk to the person as if they’re a close friend whom you completely trust, and who completely trusts you. If you act in this manner, you will send out subconscious signals encouraging the other person to view you the same way
What not to do in mirroring?
Don’t be too obvious! If they catch on, mimicry turns into mockery and rapport goes right out the window.
