How To Fail At Everything Flashcards
(7 cards)
If you pretend everything is fine and that you do not need help, what is this called?
Denial
To deny is the first strategy you can use if you would like to fail at everything.
What can you do instead?
Allow people you trust to witness your struggle instead of using so much energy trying to pretend everything is fine. They may understand you better if you don’t hide what is hurting you.
If you apologize for everything assuming that it must have been your fault since everything seems to be your fault, will this lead to success?
No, Jessica says that apologizing constantly can make you believe and accept the moral judgements placed on you by the person expecting the apology.
Sometimes you actually don’t know better even if someone says you are old enough to know better! So do not apologize to the point of making yourself believe that you are less than you really are.
If you make a mistake, and you want forgiveness or another chance, should you beg for it?
No, since this doesn’t address the actual issues and sets you up for another failure. You will need to think differently and re-evaluate rather than jumping back in to the situation that is not serving you.
Does it help when someone tells you to try to do better next time or to try harder?
Absolutely not. People told this constantly will start believing that they need to always be doing more, even when they are exhausted.
The key is to try differently and to have help to get there. Doing the same action that did not work last time without tweaking it nor changing any variables is not going to lead to success. You need a mindset shift or lower the expectations etc.
What are the five ways to fail at everything according to Jessica?
- Deny
- Apologize
- Beg
- Try to do better
- Try harder
What does Jessica suggest as a first step towards success?
Do nothing
Stop trying and instead observe what is actually happening. Figure out where your effort is best spent instead of putting in effort everywhere without considering the desired outcome first.
You might need to put your effort into figuring out what is getting in your way, and what you can do about it.
Where are you currently putting in effort but that effort doesn’t seem to be fruitful?
You have permission to stop doing that thing until you can figure out what could work instead.
You may not have to change much to your approach, but you will need to change something if you expect results. And that takes time to figure out, so yes, take a month or so to figure it out and stop aimlessly doing the task in the meantime.
