How To Talk To Anyone - Leil Lowndes Flashcards
(221 cards)
1
Q
What is the impact of a slower smile in professional settings?
A
A slower smile is perceived as more sincere and credible, which can enhance your professional image and help you build trust with clients and colleagues.
2
Q
Why is first impressions crucial in any interaction?
A
First impressions are crucial because they create a lasting mental image that influences how others perceive and interact with you, often before you even speak.
3
Q
How can you convey credibility and sincerity through your smile?
A
To convey credibility and sincerity, allow your smile to spread slowly across your face, making it appear more personalized and genuine to the recipient.
4
Q
How does intense eye contact affect interactions between men and women?
A
Intense eye contact can create feelings of respect, fondness, and even a sense of closeness, as it signals that you are captivated by the other person.
5
Q
What is the ‘Sticky Eyes’ technique and how can it be used effectively?
A
The ‘Sticky Eyes’ technique involves maintaining eye contact even after the other person has finished speaking, making it appear as if your eyes are glued to theirs with warm taffy. This technique can make you appear more attentive and caring, enhancing your interactions.
6
Q
Why is it important to adjust the level of eye contact in different situations?
A
Adjusting eye contact is important because while strong eye contact can build intimacy and respect, excessive eye contact between men can sometimes cause discomfort or be perceived as threatening. Therefore, eye contact should be moderated based on the context and the individuals involved.
7
Q
What is the ‘Epoxy Eyes’ technique and how does it work?
A
The ‘Epoxy Eyes’ technique involves maintaining eye contact with your target person even when someone else is speaking. It signals intense interest and confidence, making the target feel evaluated and, in romantic contexts, potentially attracted.
8
Q
How can ‘Epoxy Eyes’ be used to push someone’s erotic button?
A
Epoxy Eyes’ can trigger a nervous system response similar to erotic excitement by increasing the release of phenylethylamine, a hormone associated with attraction. This technique can make the target feel as though you are deeply captivated by them.
9
Q
What is the caution to keep in mind when using ‘Epoxy Eyes’?
A
While ‘Epoxy Eyes’ can be very effective in romantic settings, it can come across as arrogant or even obnoxious if overused, especially if the person does not find you attractive. It is important to use this technique carefully and avoid using it on strangers in public settings.
10
Q
What is the importance of posture in appearing successful?
A
Good posture is a key indicator of success and confidence. Standing tall with your head high, shoulders back, and a poised demeanor makes you appear like a winner and someone who feels pride, success, and joy.
11
Q
What visualization technique can help improve your posture?
A
Imagine yourself as a world-renowned acrobat about to perform. As you walk through any door, visualize biting onto an imaginary leather bit hanging from the doorframe, which lifts your head, straightens your posture, and aligns your body perfectly.
12
Q
How can making good posture a habit impact your presence?
A
By visualizing good posture each time you walk through a doorway, it becomes a habit, marking you as a big winner and someone who naturally exudes confidence and importance in any setting.
13
Q
What is ‘The Big-Baby Pivot’ technique and how does it work?
A
The Big-Baby Pivot’ involves giving someone your full attention by turning your entire body toward them, smiling warmly, and showing genuine interest as if they were a child seeking your attention. This makes the person feel special and valued.
14
Q
Why is it important to respond to someone’s ‘Inner Infant’?
A
Responding to someone’s ‘Inner Infant’—the part of them that craves recognition and attention—helps you connect with them on a deeper level, making them feel special and appreciated, which can win their heart or favor.
15
Q
How can using ‘The Big-Baby Pivot’ technique impact social or professional interactions?
A
Using ‘The Big-Baby Pivot’ can help you quickly build rapport and make a strong positive impression in both social and professional settings, as it shows others that you genuinely value and are interested in them.
16
Q
What is the ‘Hello Old Friend’ technique and how does it work?
A
The ‘Hello Old Friend’ technique involves imagining that the person you are meeting is an old friend you’ve lost touch with and are now reunited. This mindset transforms your body language and facial expressions, making you appear warm and genuinely happy to see them.
17
Q
How does the ‘Hello Old Friend’ technique affect your interactions?
A
By visualizing the person as an old friend, you naturally exhibit warmth, friendliness, and positive body language, which makes the other person feel special and fosters an instant connection.
18
Q
What is a self-fulfilling prophecy in the context of the ‘Hello Old Friend’ technique?
A
When you act as though you genuinely like someone using the ‘Hello Old Friend’ technique, you start to actually like them. This positive behavior often leads to mutual respect and affection, making the interaction more successful.
19
Q
What is the risk of fidgeting during important communications?
A
Fidgeting can create the appearance of dishonesty or nervousness, even if you are telling the truth. It undermines your credibility by sending subconscious signals to the listener that something might be wrong.
20
Q
What is the ‘Limit the Fidget’ technique?
A
Limit the Fidget’ involves consciously avoiding any unnecessary movements, such as touching your face, shifting in your seat, or rubbing your neck, especially during critical conversations. This helps you come across as more credible and trustworthy.
21
Q
Why is it important to control your body language even when you are telling the truth?
A
Controlling your body language is important because even truthful statements can be perceived as dishonest if accompanied by nervous or fidgety movements. Maintaining steady, calm body language helps ensure that your message is received as credible.
22
Q
What is ‘Hans’s Horse Sense’ and how can it be applied to reading people?
A
Hans’s Horse Sense’ refers to observing subtle body-language cues from others, just as the horse Hans did, to determine how they are reacting to you. By paying close attention to these signals, you can adjust your behavior and responses accordingly.
23
Q
How can you read someone’s reactions like you have ESP?
A
By closely observing people’s body language—such as smiles, nods, frowns, or gestures—you can gauge their true feelings and thoughts, allowing you to respond more effectively in conversations.
24
Q
Why is it important to watch people’s reactions during a conversation?
A
Watching people’s reactions is important because it helps you understand how they are feeling about what you’re saying. Positive cues indicate they are engaged and agreeable, while negative cues may suggest discomfort or disinterest, guiding you to adjust your approach.
25
What is the power of visualization according to the story of Richard and the marathon?
Visualization can mentally prepare you for challenges by allowing you to vividly imagine the experience, which can significantly enhance your performance, even if physical preparation is limited.
26
How can visualization help in social or professional settings?
By visualizing yourself confidently engaging with others, using positive body language and effective communication techniques, you can mentally rehearse success, making it more likely that you'll perform well in real interactions.
27
What is the 'Watch the Scene Before You Make the Scene' technique?
This technique involves mentally rehearsing your actions before entering a social or professional situation. By visualizing yourself as confident and successful, you set yourself up to naturally behave that way, increasing your chances of making a positive impression.
28
Why do some people, especially bright individuals, detest small talk?
Bright individuals often dislike small talk because they find it less stimulating and more difficult than engaging in meaningful conversations. This can lead to feelings of discomfort or stage fright in social settings where small talk is expected.
29
What is the importance of mastering small talk according to the text?
Mastering small talk is crucial because it serves as the first step in making a positive impression and building rapport with others. It helps to create a welcoming atmosphere that can lead to deeper, more meaningful conversations.
30
How can visualization help with overcoming the fear of small talk?
Visualization can help by allowing you to mentally prepare for social interactions, envisioning yourself confidently engaging in small talk. This mental rehearsal can reduce anxiety and make the actual conversation flow more naturally.
31
What is the importance of matching someone's mood in a conversation?
Matching someone's mood is crucial because it helps establish a connection and makes the other person feel comfortable. By aligning your energy and tone with theirs, you create a more harmonious interaction and increase the chances of a successful conversation.
32
What is the 'Make a Mood Match' technique?
The 'Make a Mood Match' technique involves observing your listener's mood and tone of voice before speaking. By matching their state of mind, even for a brief moment, you can better engage them and make your conversation more effective.
33
How can failing to match someone's mood affect an interaction?
Failing to match someone's mood can create discomfort or disconnect in the conversation. If your energy or tone is too mismatched with theirs, it can lead to frustration, misunderstandings, or a missed opportunity to connect or influence them.
34
What is the key to making a good first impression with your words?
The key to making a good first impression is not necessarily what you say, but how you say it. Your tone, demeanor, and delivery are more important than the specific words, as they set the mood and put people at ease.
35
Why are unoriginal or banal remarks effective in small talk?
Unoriginal or banal remarks are effective because they are familiar and non-threatening, helping to build rapport and ease tension. Delivered with sincerity and empathy, these remarks can quickly establish a connection.
36
What should you avoid in your first words during a conversation?
You should avoid complaining, being rude, or making unpleasant comments as your first words. These negative tones can quickly give a bad impression, labeling you as a complainer, a creep, or a stinker.
37
What is a 'Whatzit' and how can it help in social situations?
A 'Whatzit' is an unusual or interesting object you carry or wear that serves as a conversation starter. It helps others find an easy way to approach you and initiate a conversation, making social interactions smoother.
38
How can you use the 'Whatzit' technique to your advantage?
You can use the 'Whatzit' technique by carrying or wearing something distinctive that invites curiosity. When someone comments on your Whatzit, it opens the door for a conversation, whether for business networking or socializing.
39
Why should you also become a 'Whatzit Seeker'?
Being a 'Whatzit Seeker' means looking for interesting or unique items on others that you can comment on. This gives you an easy way to start conversations with people you want to connect with, whether in business or personal settings.
40
What should you do if you can't find a 'Whatzit' on someone you want to meet?
If you can't find a 'Whatzit' to comment on, you can use the 'Whoozat' technique by asking the party host or a mutual acquaintance for an introduction or for some information about the person that can help you start a conversation.
41
How does the 'Whoozat' technique work when you don't want to interrupt the party giver?
If you don't want to interrupt the party giver, you can ask them for just enough information about the person, such as their job, interests, or hobbies, which you can then use as an icebreaker to start a conversation on your own.
42
Why is the 'Whoozat' technique effective in meeting new people?
The 'Whoozat' technique is effective because it provides you with a tailored approach to start a conversation, making it easier and more natural to connect with someone you want to meet, even without a formal introduction.
43
What should you do if the person you want to meet is deep in conversation with a group and there's no 'Whatzit' or host available?
You can use the 'Eavesdrop In' technique by standing near the group, listening for a relevant topic or word, and then politely breaking into the conversation with something like, 'Excuse me, I couldn’t help overhearing that you...' This allows you to join the conversation naturally.
44
What is the 'Eavesdrop In' technique and how does it help in social situations?
The 'Eavesdrop In' technique involves listening to a group conversation from a close distance and using what you overhear as a reason to join the conversation. It's a subtle way to break into a tight crowd without being intrusive.
45
How do people typically react when you use the 'Eavesdrop In' technique, and is it effective?
People might be momentarily surprised, but they quickly get over it, and you become part of the conversation. This technique is effective in helping you join a discussion that might otherwise seem inaccessible.
46
What is the 'Never the Naked City' technique and why is it important?
The 'Never the Naked City' technique involves never giving a one-word answer when asked where you're from. Instead, you provide an interesting fact or witty observation about your city to keep the conversation engaging and give the other person something to respond to.
47
How can you prepare to use the 'Never the Naked City' technique effectively?
You can prepare by learning some engaging facts, history, or fun tidbits about your hometown that are easy to share. This way, when someone asks where you're from, you can provide a response that sparks further conversation and interest.
48
Why is it beneficial to give more than just the name of your city when asked where you're from?
Providing more than just the name of your city makes the conversation more dynamic and prevents awkward silences. It also shows that you're an interesting conversationalist who can engage others with thoughtful and intriguing information.
49
What is the 'Never the Naked Job' technique and why is it important?
The 'Never the Naked Job' technique involves providing more than just your job title when asked what you do. Instead of giving a short, vague answer, you should flesh it out with interesting details or a story related to your job, making it easier for others to engage in conversation.
50
Why should you avoid giving only your job title when asked about your profession?
Simply giving your job title can leave the other person feeling awkward or unsure how to continue the conversation. By providing additional context or a relatable story, you make it easier for them to respond and keep the conversation going.
51
How can you tailor your job description to different audiences?
You can tailor your job description by choosing details or stories that relate to the interests or experiences of the person you're speaking with. For example, if you're talking to a business owner, you might share a legal case related to business law. If you're speaking with a parent, you might discuss a case involving family-related issues.
52
What is the 'Never the Naked Introduction' technique and why is it important?
The 'Never the Naked Introduction' technique involves adding relevant details about each person when introducing them to each other. This helps to provide conversation starters and makes it easier for the newly introduced people to engage with one another, preventing awkward silences.
53
How can you 'bait the conversational hook' when introducing people?
You can 'bait the conversational hook' by mentioning something interesting about each person, such as their job, hobby, or a unique talent. For example, 'John, this is Susan; she's the editor of Shoestring Gourmet magazine. Susan, John has a wonderful boat we took a trip on last summer.' This gives them a starting point for conversation.
54
Why is it important to provide more than just names during introductions?
Providing more than just names helps to facilitate conversation and ensures that the people you're introducing have something to talk about right away. It makes the introduction smoother and more comfortable, leading to a more engaging interaction.
55
What is the 'Be a Word Detective' technique and why is it effective?
The 'Be a Word Detective' technique involves carefully listening to your conversation partner's words for clues about topics they are interested in. By picking up on these subtle hints and steering the conversation towards those topics, you can engage them more effectively and keep the conversation lively.
56
How can you identify what someone really wants to talk about during a conversation?
You can identify what someone really wants to talk about by paying attention to any unusual references, deviations, or specific mentions they make. These are often subconscious clues that reveal their interests or concerns, which you can then explore further.
57
Why is it important to listen for 'slips of the tongue' during a conversation?
Listening for 'slips of the tongue' is important because they often reveal the speaker's genuine interests or preoccupations. By picking up on these and showing interest, you can direct the conversation to a topic that excites them, making the interaction more engaging and enjoyable.
58
What is the 'Swiveling Spotlight' technique and how does it work?
The 'Swiveling Spotlight' technique involves focusing the conversation on the other person by asking about their life, interests, and experiences. By keeping the spotlight on them, you make them feel valued and engaged, which in turn makes you more interesting to them.
59
Why do confident people often focus on others in conversations?
Confident people understand that they learn more by listening than by talking. By focusing on others, they not only gain valuable insights but also make the other person feel important and appreciated, which enhances the connection.
60
How can the 'Swiveling Spotlight' technique benefit salespeople?
For salespeople, the 'Swiveling Spotlight' technique helps build rapport with potential clients by focusing on their needs and interests. This approach makes the client feel understood and valued, which increases the likelihood of making a successful sale.
61
What is the 'Parroting' technique and how does it work?
The 'Parroting' technique involves repeating the last few words your conversation partner says in a questioning tone. This prompts them to elaborate on their thoughts, keeping the conversation going without requiring much effort from you.
62
Why is 'Parroting' effective in conversation, especially when you're unsure what to say next?
Parroting' is effective because it encourages the other person to expand on their previous statement, which not only keeps the conversation flowing but also gives you more context and information to engage with, even when you're unsure what to say next.
63
How can 'Parroting' be useful in sales or uncovering deeper feelings?
In sales, 'Parroting' can help uncover a customer's underlying emotions or objections by prompting them to clarify or expand on their thoughts. This allows the salesperson to better understand the customer's needs and tailor their approach to close the sale.
64
What is the 'Encore!' technique and how does it work?
The 'Encore!' technique involves encouraging someone to retell a story they’ve shared with you before, especially in a group setting. By asking them to share a story where they shine, you make them feel appreciated and valued while keeping the conversation lively. It also allows you to step away if needed while they engage the group.
65
When should you use the 'Encore!' technique during a conversation?
You should use the 'Encore!' technique when you’re in a group setting and want to highlight a positive story someone has told you before. It's especially useful when you want to engage others in the conversation or when you need to step away for a moment.
66
Why is it important to choose the right story when using the 'Encore!' technique?
It's important to choose a story where the person comes out as a winner or in a positive light. This ensures that they feel good about sharing the story again and keeps the mood of the conversation upbeat. Avoid stories where they were embarrassed or unsuccessful.
67
"What is the 'Ac-cen-tu-ate the Pos-i-tive' technique and how does it work?
The 'Ac-cen-tu-ate the Pos-i-tive' technique involves focusing on the positive aspects of your life when first meeting someone, rather than sharing personal struggles or negative experiences. This helps you come across as a positive and uplifting person, making a strong first impression.
68
Why should you avoid sharing negative or personal struggles early in a relationship?
You should avoid sharing negative or personal struggles early in a relationship because the other person doesn’t know you well enough to put these confessions in context. They might react with suspicion or concern, wondering what else you might be hiding, which can negatively impact their perception of you.
69
When is it appropriate to share personal struggles or 'skeletons in the closet' with someone?
It's appropriate to share personal struggles or 'skeletons in the closet' later in a relationship, once a solid foundation of trust and understanding has been established. At that point, such revelations are less likely to be misinterpreted and can even strengthen the bond between you.
70
What is the 'The Latest News... Don’t Leave Home Without It' technique and how does it work?
The 'The Latest News... Don’t Leave Home Without It' technique involves catching up on current events by listening to a newscast or reading a newspaper before heading to a social event. This ensures you have relevant and engaging topics to discuss, making you a more interesting conversationalist.
71
Why is it important to stay updated on current events before attending a social gathering?
Staying updated on current events is important because it provides you with fresh and relevant topics to discuss, helping you avoid awkward silences and making you more appealing in conversations. It also prevents you from accidentally asking about something everyone else already knows, which could make you seem out of touch.
72
How did Sidney Biddle Barrows, the 'Mayflower Madam,' use current events to improve her business?
Sidney Biddle Barrows instructed her employees to keep up with the daily news so they could engage in interesting conversations with clients. This strategy significantly increased her business, as clients appreciated the fascinating discussions, leading to higher customer satisfaction.
73
Why are communication skills crucial for success in life, according to the text?
Communication skills are crucial because they account for 85 percent of one's success in life. Effective communication helps individuals build relationships, make strong first impressions, and succeed in both personal and professional settings.
74
What happens when two people meet in a business or social context, according to the text?
When two people meet, they instinctively and instantaneously size each other up, not by physical attributes like tigers in the wild, but by their communication skills. These skills determine how important and successful each person is perceived to be.
75
How can a single communication misstep affect your professional or social standing?
A single communication misstep, such as a cliché, insensitive remark, or overanxious reaction, can lead to being demoted in others' perceptions. It can cause you to lose potential friendships, business contacts, or professional opportunities, showing the importance of making all the right moves in conversation.
76
Why should you avoid asking someone directly 'What do you do?' in a conversation?
Avoiding the direct question 'What do you do?' makes you come across as more principled, sensitive, and refined. It prevents making someone uncomfortable, especially in cases where the person might be unemployed, dislike their job, or feel undervalued because of their choice to focus on family or non-traditional work.
77
What is the recommended alternative question to 'What do you do?' and why is it effective?
The alternative question is 'How do you spend most of your time?' This question is effective because it allows the person to choose how they want to describe their life, whether it’s about their job, hobbies, family, or personal interests. It gives them the freedom to share what’s most meaningful to them without feeling pressured.
78
How does avoiding 'What do you do?' benefit your social interactions, particularly with high-status individuals?
Avoiding 'What do you do?' helps you appear as someone who is genuinely interested in the person, not just their job title. It also suggests that you are used to interacting with people who may not work for a living or have high social status, thereby positioning you as someone who is well-versed in high-level social interactions.
79
Prepare a Tailored Response
Instead of giving a generic answer to 'What do you do?', prepare a customized response that highlights aspects of your work relevant to the person asking.
80
Use a Benefit Statement
Focus on how your job benefits others or solves a problem, making your answer more engaging and memorable.
81
Create a Nutshell Résumé
Craft multiple versions of your job description to fit different contexts, ensuring your response is interesting and aligned with the listener's potential interest.
82
Use Rich Vocabulary to Enhance Perception
People with a rich vocabulary are perceived as more intelligent and creative. Incorporating more expressive words into your speech can lead to better opportunities and increased respect.
83
Why should you delay revealing a shared interest with someone?
Delaying the revelation of a shared interest allows the other person to fully enjoy discussing their passion and makes your eventual disclosure more impactful, leaving a lasting impression.
84
What is the benefit of letting the conversation partner enjoy their monologue?
Letting the other person talk about their experience or interest first shows that you are a good listener and makes the connection stronger when you eventually reveal your common interest.
85
How long should you wait to reveal a shared interest?
While it's beneficial to delay revealing your shared interest for a stronger connection, you should not wait too long, as it could make you seem tricky or insincere.
86
Why is the word 'you' more powerful than 'I' in conversation?
The word 'you' is more powerful because it directly appeals to the listener's self-interest, making them feel important and valued, which is more likely to gain their attention and cooperation.
87
What is the effect of starting a request with 'you' instead of 'I'?
Starting a request with 'you' pushes the listener's pride button, making them more inclined to respond positively, as it subtly challenges them and appeals to their sense of competence.
88
What is the purpose of reviewing your repertoire of smiles?
Reviewing your repertoire of smiles helps you understand the subtle differences and allows you to tailor your smile to reflect your genuine sentiment towards each person.
89
Why should you avoid clichés when talking to successful people?
Clichés make you appear unoriginal and unimaginative, which can diminish your credibility in the eyes of successful people.
90
What should you do instead of using clichés?
Create your own clever and original phrases to sound more creative and engaging in conversation.
91
What is the most important factor in effective communication according to motivational speakers?
The use of hands, body language, gestures, tone of voice, expressions, varying speech speed, and effective use of silence.
92
How can you make a memorable impact in conversation according to the text?
Use powerful phrases, similes, and humor that are relevant and have visual impact to enrich your conversation.
93
What should you be cautious about when using prepared material in conversation?
Ensure that the material is relevant to the situation and the audience, as even the best content can fail if it doesn't fit the context.
94
What is one of the most blatant differences between a big cat's language and a little cat's language?
Big cats aren't afraid of real words and call things by their proper names, while little cats often hide behind euphemisms.
95
What do big cats say when they mean 'breasts'?
They say 'breasts' without resorting to cutesy or euphemistic terms.
96
What do big cats do if they are ever in doubt about a word?
They simply resort to using French words, like using 'derrière' instead of 'buttocks.'
97
What is a sure sign of a little cathood in conversation?
A sure sign of a little cathood is teasing others with jokes at their expense.
98
What can happen if you make a joke at someone else's expense?
You may get a cheap laugh, but the big cats will likely construct a 'glass ceiling' to keep you from advancing.
99
What should you never do if you want to avoid being seen as a little cat?
Never, ever, make a joke at anyone else's expense.
100
What is the key to delivering bad news effectively?
The key is to deliver bad news with the proper attitude, showing sympathy and understanding of how the receiver will feel.
101
Why did the author want to 'rub the neighbor's face in the peanut butter and jelly sandwich'?
The neighbor delivered bad news (about the impending rain) with a smile, which made the author feel the neighbor was unsympathetic.
102
What should you keep in mind when delivering any news?
You should always keep the receiver in mind and deliver the news with the appropriate emotion—whether it's a smile, sigh, or sob—depending on how the receiver will take it.
103
What technique did Barbara use to avoid answering an unwelcome question?
Barbara used 'The Broken Record' technique, where she repeated the same response in the same tone of voice to curtail further questioning.
104
How did Barbara respond to repeated questions about her personal situation?
Barbara consistently repeated the phrase, 'We’ve separated, but the company is unaffected,' each time she was asked.
105
What is the purpose of 'The Broken Record' technique?
The purpose of 'The Broken Record' technique is to shut down persistent questioning by giving the same response repeatedly, which usually discourages the questioner from continuing.
106
What should you do if you see a celebrity at a restaurant?
Do nothing. Let the celebrity enjoy a brief moment of anonymity. If you must approach, wait until they are leaving, and then politely express how much pleasure their work has given you.
107
How should you compliment a celebrity's work?
Instead of directly complimenting their work, tell them how much pleasure or insight it has given you. This shows appreciation without being overbearing.
108
What should you avoid when talking to a celebrity?
Avoid focusing on their older work and don’t ask them to perform or do something work-related at a social event. Stick to recent work and let them relax.
109
What is the best way to express gratitude?
Always follow 'thank you' with the reason for your gratitude, such as 'Thank you for coming' or 'Thank you for being so understanding.'
110
Why should you avoid saying just 'thank you'?
A simple 'thank you' can be too generic and might not convey the full appreciation or recognition the person deserves. Adding a reason makes your gratitude more meaningful.
111
How can you prepare to be part of conversations about topics you're not familiar with?
Learn basic information or key terms about the topics you might encounter. Even a little knowledge allows you to ask relevant questions and keep the conversation going.
112
How does participating in an activity just once benefit you?
Participating in an activity just once gives you 80% of the conversational value. It allows you to learn insider terms and questions, making you sound like an insider when discussing the activity with others.
113
What is Jobbledygook?
Jobbledygook is the specialized language or jargon used by people in specific professions or hobbies.
114
Why should you learn to speak Jobbledygook?
Learning Jobbledygook makes you sound like an insider and helps you engage in conversations with people from different fields, making you appear knowledgeable and well-rounded.
115
How can you learn Jobbledygook?
You can learn Jobbledygook by asking a friend or someone knowledgeable in the field for a few key phrases or opening questions that are commonly used within that profession or hobby.
116
What is 'Baring Their Hot Button'?
Baring Their Hot Button' is a technique where you learn the key issues or concerns in a particular field or profession, so you can engage in meaningful conversation by addressing those hot topics.
117
How can you use 'Baring Their Hot Button' to improve conversations with professionals?
By finding out the burning issues or concerns in someone's field, you can ask relevant questions or make informed comments that show you understand and care about the important aspects of their work, making the conversation more engaging.
118
What is the benefit of reading trade journals and special-interest magazines?
Trade journals and special-interest magazines give you insider language and current hot topics within a specific industry or hobby, making you sound more knowledgeable and allowing you to engage more deeply in conversations with people in those fields.
119
How did reading a gardening magazine help the author in a business situation?
By reading Flower and Garden Magazine, the author learned insider gardening terms. This knowledge helped establish rapport with a potential client who was passionate about gardening, leading to a more personal conversation and a potential business opportunity.
120
What should you do before traveling abroad to avoid cultural misunderstandings?
Before traveling abroad, it's crucial to study the customs of the country you're visiting. This includes learning proper business etiquette, greetings, and behaviors to avoid cultural faux pas that could negatively impact your interactions.
121
Why was Geri's behavior considered inappropriate in Japan?
Geri's behavior was considered inappropriate because she violated several Japanese customs, such as dressing casually for a business meeting, disrespecting business cards, opening a gift in front of the givers, and hugging new clients. These actions were seen as disrespectful and unprofessional.
122
How can you prepare for cultural differences when traveling to a new country?
You can prepare for cultural differences by reading books or resources on international customs specific to the country you're visiting. Understanding the local etiquette, gestures, and conversational norms can help you navigate social and business situations smoothly.
123
What is the key to getting the insider's price when buying something?
The key to getting the insider's price is to learn and use industry-specific lingo. This makes the vendor believe that you are knowledgeable about their field, leading them to offer you a better deal.
124
How can you prepare to negotiate a better price on a big-ticket item?
Before negotiating, visit several vendors to learn the industry lingo. Talk with them to pick up key terms and phrases, then go to the vendor you want to buy from and use the lingo to demonstrate your knowledge.
125
Why does knowing industry terms help you get a better price?
Knowing industry terms helps you get a better price because it signals to the vendor that you understand the market and know the ropes. This reduces their ability to inflate prices or add unnecessary markups, leading to a fairer deal.
126
Why is it important to create a sense of similarity with others?
People are most receptive to those they feel share their values and beliefs. Creating a sense of similarity increases comfort levels and makes others more likely to do business or develop friendships with you.
127
What did the study about personality and beliefs reveal about human interaction?
The study revealed that people who believed they were similar to their partner liked each other significantly more than those who thought they were dissimilar, showing our predisposition towards those we perceive as being like us.
128
How can creating a sense of similarity benefit you in relationships?
Creating a sense of similarity can lead to stronger rapport, deeper understanding, and more opportunities in both personal and professional relationships, as it helps people feel more comfortable and connected with you.
129
Why is it important to match your movements to those of the person you're interacting with?
People feel comfortable around others who move similarly to them. Mimicking their movements helps create a sense of familiarity and comfort, making interactions smoother and more successful.
130
What can you learn from observing someone's movements?
You can discern aspects of their background, such as whether they have 'old money,' 'new money,' or 'no money,' as well as their overall social class or demeanor. This can help you tailor your behavior to match theirs and build rapport.
131
How does matching your personality to the product you're selling help in sales?
It aligns your demeanor with the customer's expectations for the product, making the buying experience more cohesive and pleasant. For example, selling luxury items requires a more refined demeanor, while selling casual items might call for a relaxed, cool attitude.
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What is the purpose of 'Echoing' in conversation?
Echoing helps create subliminal rapport by using the same words and language as the person you're speaking with. It makes them feel like you share their values, attitudes, and experiences, fostering a sense of closeness and similarity.
133
Why should you be careful with the words you use when talking to professionals?
Using the correct terminology for someone's profession shows that you understand and respect their field. Incorrect terms can signal that you are an outsider and may make the person feel that you are not sensitive to their industry's issues.
134
How can Echoing help in a social setting?
In social settings, Echoing allows you to quickly build rapport by mirroring the language and word choices of the person you're speaking with. This makes them feel more comfortable and understood, as if you are on the same wavelength.
135
What is the purpose of using 'Potent Imaging' in conversation?
Potent Imaging involves using analogies that relate to the listener's interests or lifestyle to make your points more impactful and relatable. It enhances communication by creating vivid images that resonate with the listener, making your message clearer and more memorable.
136
Why did the author struggle in the corporate meeting with men?
The author struggled because the men in the meeting used football analogies, which she didn't fully understand. This made her feel out of sync with the group, highlighting the importance of using analogies that are relevant to the listener's experiences.
137
How can you improve communication with someone who has different interests?
You can improve communication by using analogies and references that relate to the other person's interests or lifestyle. For example, if someone is a gardener, you might talk about 'sowing the seeds for success,' or if they're a pilot, you might discuss a concept 'really taking off.'
138
What are 'empathizers' in a conversation?
Empathizers are short, supportive statements that show you are truly listening and understanding what the speaker is saying. Unlike non-committal sounds like 'uh huh,' empathizers are complete sentences, such as 'I can appreciate you decided to do that' or 'That really is exciting.'
139
How do empathizers improve communication?
Empathizers improve communication by making the speaker feel heard and understood. They convey that you are engaged in the conversation and provide a more meaningful response than just nodding or saying 'uh huh.'
140
How can you identify which sensory language someone is using?
You can identify the sensory language someone is using by listening to the specific words and phrases they choose. If they say things like 'I see what you mean,' they are using visual language. If they say 'That sounds good,' they are using auditory language. If they say 'I have a gut feeling,' they are using kinesthetic language.
141
Why does using 'we' in conversation create a sense of closeness?
Using 'we' in conversation creates a sense of closeness because it fosters a feeling of togetherness and shared experience. It subtly implies that you and the other person are on the same team or share common goals, which makes them feel more connected to you.
142
When should you use the 'Premature We' technique?
You should use the 'Premature We' technique when you want to quickly establish a sense of rapport and connection with someone, whether it's in a business setting, social gathering, or even a potential romantic situation. It's particularly effective when you want to make the other person feel like you're already friends or allies.
143
What is the purpose of creating a 'private joke' in relationships?
A 'private joke' creates a shared history and a sense of intimacy between individuals, making them feel connected and building rapport in personal or professional relationships.
144
How can you use 'Instant History' to strengthen new relationships?
Instant History' involves identifying and recalling a special moment shared during your first encounter with someone. By referencing this moment in future interactions, you create a sense of familiarity and connection, similar to that of old friends.
145
Why are private jokes or shared experiences important in a professional setting?
Private jokes or shared experiences help build a company culture by creating a unique language and history among employees. This shared history fosters camaraderie and strengthens the bonds within the team.
146
What is the key difference between praise and flattery?
The key difference is that skilled praise is sincere, well-timed, and genuine, lifting the relationship, while flattery is often perceived as insincere or self-serving, which can damage trust and harm the relationship.
147
Why is unskilled praise potentially harmful?
Unskilled praise, if perceived as insincere or self-serving, can lead to distrust and may ruin a potential relationship before it even starts, as the recipient may suspect ulterior motives.
148
What is a more effective way to compliment someone without sounding like you're brownnosing?
A more effective way is to deliver the compliment through the grapevine. Tell someone close to the person you wish to compliment, and let the praise reach them indirectly, making it feel more genuine.
149
Why should you become a 'carrier pigeon' of good news?
Being a carrier of good news or compliments makes people appreciate you as much as the original complimenter, and it helps you build positive relationships.
150
How can you extend the concept of 'Carrier Pigeon Kudos' beyond compliments?
You can also be a carrier pigeon of interesting news or information relevant to someone's interests, showing them that you are thinking of them and their passions.
151
What is the concept of 'Implied Magnificence'?
Implied Magnificence' is the technique of subtly implying something positive about the person you're talking to, making them feel admired without giving a blatant compliment.
152
Why is it important to be cautious when implying compliments?
It's important to be cautious because an unintentional negative implication can undermine the compliment and make the person feel worse instead of better, as shown by the example of the maintenance man's comment.
153
How can you use 'Implied Magnificence' effectively in conversation?
You can use 'Implied Magnificence' by making subtle comments that presuppose positive qualities about the person you're speaking with, but you must ensure that the implication remains entirely positive to avoid accidental offense.
154
What is 'Accidental Adulation' and how does it work?
Accidental Adulation' is a technique where you subtly slip praise into the secondary part of your point, making it seem like the compliment naturally and unintentionally came out, which makes it feel more sincere.
155
Why is 'Accidental Adulation' effective in winning people's hearts?
It is effective because the compliment appears unintentional and sincere, making the recipient feel genuinely admired without suspecting any ulterior motives.
156
Can you give an example of using 'Accidental Adulation' in conversation?
Yes, for instance, you could say, 'Anyone as fit as you would have zipped right up those steps, but boy, was I out of breath,' which subtly praises the person’s fitness while discussing something else.
157
What is a 'Killer Compliment' and how does it differ from a regular compliment?
A 'Killer Compliment' is a highly specific and personal compliment that highlights a unique quality in someone. Unlike general compliments, it makes a lasting impression because it feels sincere and tailored to the individual.
158
What are the key rules to follow when giving a 'Killer Compliment'?
The key rules are: 1) Deliver the compliment in private to avoid making others feel uncomfortable; 2) Ensure the compliment is credible and genuine; 3) Use it sparingly, giving only one Killer Compliment per recipient every six months to avoid seeming insincere.
159
Why is the 'Killer Compliment' particularly effective with new acquaintances?
The 'Killer Compliment' is effective with new acquaintances because it creates a strong, positive impression, making the individual feel special and valued, which can help establish a strong foundation for a future relationship.
160
What are 'Little Strokes' and how can they be used?
Little Strokes' are short, quick compliments or kudos that can be casually dropped into conversation. They can be used to acknowledge small achievements or efforts by colleagues, loved ones, or anyone you interact with regularly.
161
Why are 'Little Strokes' important in relationships?
Little Strokes' are important because they show appreciation for the small efforts and achievements of others, preventing feelings of being unnoticed or unappreciated, and strengthening relationships.
162
Can you give an example of how to use 'Little Strokes' with loved ones?
Yes, for example, if your spouse cooks a great meal, you could say, 'Wow, you’re the best chef in town,' or after a long drive, 'You did it! It must have been tiring.' These small compliments make loved ones feel valued.
163
What is the importance of timing when giving a compliment?
Timing is crucial when giving a compliment because the recipient is most eager to hear praise immediately after completing a task or achievement. Complimenting them instantly, like a knee-jerk reaction, makes the praise more impactful.
164
What should you do if someone’s performance was poor but they seek validation?
In this case, it's acceptable to offer a compassionate lie by giving them a positive compliment. Sensitivity to their ego at that moment takes precedence over strict honesty, as it helps maintain their confidence and emotional well-being.
165
What is the 'Knee-Jerk Wow' technique and how does it work?
The 'Knee-Jerk Wow' technique involves praising someone immediately after they accomplish something, no matter how trivial or significant. The immediate praise feeds into their euphoria and reinforces their achievement, making them feel good about their effort.
166
What is the common mistake people make when receiving compliments, and why is it problematic?
People often react to compliments with embarrassment or by downplaying the praise, which can insult the complimenter's powers of perception and discourage future compliments.
167
What is the 'Boomeranging' technique for receiving compliments?
The 'Boomeranging' technique involves reflecting the compliment back to the giver by expressing gratitude and acknowledging their kindness, which makes the interaction more positive for both parties.
168
How can you make someone feel appreciated when they show interest in you?
You can make someone feel appreciated by acknowledging their interest with gratitude, such as thanking them for remembering a detail about your life or expressing appreciation for their concern.
169
What is 'The Tombstone Game' and how does it help strengthen relationships?
The Tombstone Game' is a technique where you ask someone what they would want engraved on their tombstone, revealing what they value most about themselves. Later, you use this information to give a highly personalized compliment, making them feel deeply understood and appreciated.
170
Why is it important to give compliments based on someone's self-image?
Compliments that align with a person's self-image are particularly powerful because they resonate with what the person values most about themselves. This creates a strong emotional connection and makes the compliment much more meaningful.
171
How should you deliver a compliment based on 'The Tombstone Game' technique?
After discovering what someone values most about themselves, wait a few weeks, then use that information to give a sincere compliment that reflects their deepest self-image. This approach makes the person feel truly seen and appreciated for who they are.
172
Why is your phone personality so important?
Your phone personality is crucial because people form impressions of you solely based on your voice. They don't have visual cues like body language or facial expressions, so the way you speak becomes the entire basis for their perception of you.
173
What lesson did the author learn from meeting her travel agent, Rani, in person?
The author learned that Rani's friendly body language and demeanor in person were completely different from her perceived phone personality. This highlighted how much non-verbal cues can change the impression someone has of you.
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How can you ensure your phone personality is well-received?
To ensure your phone personality is well-received, be conscious of how you project your voice. Since your tone, pronunciation, and manner of speaking are all that the other person has to go on, you need to be warm, clear, and attentive, as these traits will positively influence how others perceive you.
175
Why is it important to adapt your communication style for the phone?
On the phone, your body language and facial expressions are invisible, so you must translate your emotions into sound to convey your personality. Without visual cues, listeners might misinterpret your tone or energy level.
176
What is the 'Talking Gestures' technique and how does it help in phone conversations?
The 'Talking Gestures' technique involves verbalizing your emotions and reactions, such as saying 'I see,' 'That's interesting,' or 'Wow, that's funny!' to convey the same energy and engagement that would normally be shown through body language or facial expressions.
177
How can you make your phone conversations more engaging and lively?
To make your phone conversations more engaging, you should exaggerate your vocal expressions by about 30% to compensate for the loss of visual cues. Use verbal phrases to replace gestures, smiles, and nods, ensuring that your listener hears your enthusiasm and engagement.
178
Why is using a person's name frequently on the phone effective?
Using a person's name frequently on the phone creates a sense of intimacy and familiarity, compensating for the lack of physical presence. It helps capture their attention and makes them feel more connected to you.
179
How does the effect of saying someone's name on the phone differ from in-person conversations?
In-person, using someone's name too often can sound manipulative or pandering, but on the phone, it helps recreate the closeness and attention that would typically be conveyed through eye contact or physical gestures.
180
Why is it important not to smile before answering the phone?
Smiling before answering the phone can make you sound insincere, overly eager, or fake. Instead, it's better to reserve your smile for when you know who is on the line, which makes your warmth feel more genuine.
181
How can expressing enthusiasm even for unwanted calls benefit you?
Expressing enthusiasm, even for calls like reminders or complaints, can lead to positive outcomes, such as a more cooperative attitude from the caller, waived fees, or better customer relations. It also makes the caller feel valued, which can improve the overall interaction.
182
What is 'The Sneaky Screen' technique and how does it work?
The Sneaky Screen' technique involves having the gatekeeper respond cheerfully to a caller, saying they will be put through, before asking for their name and purpose. If the person being called is unavailable, the gatekeeper returns with the news in a friendly manner, making the caller feel as if they were not intentionally screened.
183
Why is 'The Sneaky Screen' technique effective in handling calls?
It is effective because it makes callers feel valued and avoids the negative feelings associated with being screened out. The friendly approach and initial promise to connect them creates a positive impression, even if they can't speak to the person they are calling.
184
How can you improve your chances of getting what you want when calling a Big Shot?
To improve your chances, always be polite and acknowledge the person who answers the phone, whether it’s the spouse or the secretary. Building a rapport with them shows respect and can positively influence how the Big Shot perceives your calls or requests.
185
What impact can a secretary or spouse have on business decisions?
A secretary or spouse can have a substantial impact on business decisions, such as determining which calls get through, which proposals are prioritized, and whose appointments are scheduled. Their opinions can significantly affect the outcome of your interactions with the VIP.
186
Why is it important to ask about timing before starting a conversation on the phone?
Asking about timing shows respect for the other person's time and ensures they are receptive to your conversation. Poor timing can lead to bad results, even if your message is important or interesting.
187
What is the 'What Color Is Your Time?' technique and how does it work?
The 'What Color Is Your Time?' technique involves asking someone if their time is 'red,' 'yellow,' or 'green' before starting a conversation. 'Red' means they are very busy, 'yellow' means they can talk briefly, and 'green' means they have time to engage in a full conversation.
188
What should you do if a prospect says they don't really have time to talk but asks what’s on your mind?
If a prospect says they don't have time but asks what’s on your mind, you should not make your sales pitch. Instead, wait until they are fully available (when their time is 'green') to ensure they are receptive and can give you their full attention.
189
What is the Munching or Mingling technique?
Eat before coming to a party and don't hold food or drink so you can focus on mingling
190
Why should you avoid eating and drinking at a party?
Holding food and drink creates a barrier between you and others and makes it harder to mingle
191
What should you do instead of eating at a party?
Come to mingle and focus on meeting people rather than eating
192
What is the Rubberneck the Room technique?
Stop dramatically in the doorway and slowly survey the room before entering
193
Why should you pause in the doorway when entering a room?
It allows you to assess the situation and make a more impactful entrance
194
How long should you pause when Rubbernecking the Room?
Take enough time to slowly scan the room and take note of the people and dynamics
195
What is the Be the Chooser Not the Choosee technique?
Actively choose who you want to meet rather than waiting for others to approach you
196
Why is it important to choose who you want to meet?
It allows you to connect with people who could be important to your life/career
197
How can you approach someone you want to meet?
Simply walk up and introduce yourself saying you wanted to talk to them
198
What is the Come-Hither Hands technique?
Arrange your body in an open position with palms and wrists exposed to appear inviting
199
Why are open palms and wrists effective?
They subliminally signal openness and acceptance to others
200
How should you position your hands to be most inviting?
Keep palms and wrists visible and avoid crossing arms or clutching objects
201
What is the Tracking technique?
Remember and refer back to minor details people share about their lives
202
Why is Tracking an effective technique?
It makes people feel important and memorable to you
203
What types of details should you track about people?
Personal interests, hobbies, recent events or anything they've shared with you
204
What is the Business Card Dossier technique?
Write notes about your conversation on the back of someone's business card
205
Why is the Business Card Dossier effective?
It allows you to remember details to reference in future interactions
206
What types of things should you note on business cards?
Favorite things, personal details or topics you discussed
207
What is Eyeball Selling?
Closely observing a person's nonverbal cues to gauge their interest and reactions
208
Why is Eyeball Selling an important technique?
It allows you to tailor your approach based on the other person's reactions
209
What are some nonverbal cues to watch for?
Head position, body orientation, facial expressions and gestures
210
How can you make someone feel good after they make a mistake or blunder?
Ignore their bloopers and don't draw attention to minor mistakes or embarrassing moments
211
What should you do when dining with colleagues and discussing business?
Only discuss positive aspects of business over dinner; save tough negotiations for the conference room
212
Where should you avoid bringing up business matters with someone?
In chance encounters like supermarket lines; keep such meetings light and friendly
213
What should you do when someone's story gets interrupted?
Wait for the interruption to pass and then help the person resume their story where they left off
214
How can you show empathy when someone is upset about a situation?
Echo their emotions back to them, acknowledging how they must feel
215
What's a good technique to use before sharing your own ideas with someone?
Let them completely finish expressing their thoughts first; wait until their 'tank is empty'
216
What's a good way to gain favor with service personnel?
Write a complimentary letter about them to their boss, praising their customer service
217
How can you ensure good service in the future from someone who's helped you?
Send a 'buttercup' (complimentary letter) to their boss about their excellent service
218
What should you do if you make a mistake that inconveniences someone?
Go above and beyond to make it up to them; ensure they benefit from your mistake
219
How can you stand out as a leader in a group setting?
Be the first to applaud or show approval for a speaker, without waiting to see how others react
220
What's an important principle to keep in mind in any relationship?
Be aware of the 'scorecard' between you, and who owes who favors or deference
221
How should you act when someone with higher status has done you a favor?
Show appropriate deference and gratitude; be respectful of their time and position
