how to win friends Flashcards
social
what are the fundamentals of the book?
1-don’t criticize or complain, 2-appreciate people sincerely, 3-appeal to the other person,s interests
what is the fundamental of Dont criticize or complain?
1-people are creatures of emotions and never criticize themselves for anything so don’t do it yourself, 2-criticizing people always puts them on the defensive and they will try hard to prove you are wrong and rationalize their actions, 3-criticism hurts the person’s pride and sense of importance, 4-any weak person can criticize and complain but it takes a real person to understand and forgive
what are some tactics you can do in the first fundamental ( Dont criticize or complain)
1-always try to consider the information you dont have about the situation, 2-most likey you would have acted similarly if you was in their shoe, 3-parents often criticize children forgetting what you are having in head is adults yardstick, 4-before sending angry message take a good time and see if you will still have the same emotions.
what is the fundamental of appreciate people sincerely?
people crave importance and appreciation will make them love u a lot and maybe do things for you.
what are the principles of appreciating people sincerely?
people search for importance thats why they do stuff, to attract attention even children do that, think of every person as someone you can learn from and you will find you can appreciate them a lot for a lot of stuff, after all appreciation arouse enthusiasm while criticism kills ambition.
what is the fundamental of appeal to the other person interests?
like cheesecake when you go fishing, you dont string cheesecake at the end of your line but a worm what the fish wants, so this is the idea appeal to what they wants.
what are the principles of this fundamental (appeal to other person interests)?
of course you are interested in what you want but no one else is, 2-the only way to influence people is to appeal to what they want exactly not what you want, 3- the only way to make someone do anything is to make the other person want to do it.
what are the tactics of appeal to other person interests?
1-think what the other person would want out of this, even challenge yourself to not talk about what you want, 2- show the other person that you really want the best for them, 3- when you trying to get the other person to do something, talk about what is the benefit for them and what they are missing, 4-sometimes showing is better than words, 5-
likability one: show genuine interest in the other person?ex
make people feel important, show that you are happy to see them call them by their names, discuss their interests passions, and give genuine praise.
principles: showing interests in other people make them feel important, also if you show you are happy to see them they get happy to see you too, it must be sincere.
tactics:
ask about the people background and goals, talk to the people beneath your level respectfully, when traveling attempt to speak their language, remember birthdays, greet people with animiation and enthusiasm, instead of just cold hello.
likability two: smile?ex
a smile is just like, you make me happy, and its a message of goodwill, this is why dogs and little babies are likable.
you must have fun meeting other people if you expect them to have fun meeting you.
likability three: say the persons name?ex
principles: a person name is the most important thing for them, a person name is so unique to them and their vocabulary, forgetting it is like forgetting big peace of them, people pay loads of money so their name dont get forgotten.
tactics: use the name multiple times in the conversation, try to tie together the name and the person, ask how to spell unsual names, pronounce names correctly, emails or letters associated with name, dont forget customer name, service people names are importnat.
likability four: listen well, encourage other people to talk?ex
principles: you can be a good conversationalist just by listening and showing interests, other people life is more important for them than yours.
keep trying to one-up friends if you want enemies, if you want friends let them one- up[ you
often angry people just want to be heard, people get tired from not having their voices heard,
bad conversationlist talk without concern for the other person, they want everything about them.
tactics: to be interesting you need to interested, encourage them to talk about their interests and accomplishments, if someone went through hard times , ask them about it.
give a sincere appreciation and praise.
likeability five: discuss the other persons interests? ex
people are usually far more enthusiastic about topics they care about much more about the topics you care about.
tactics:
before meeting someone research their interests so you know their knowledge field
identify someone major goals.
talk about what they are proud about, and point out with appreciation.
likeability six: discuss the other persons interests? ex
this is recap for the 6 likabilities s,
make everyone feel important, avoid doing things that makes them feel small, for people who think highly of themselves showing that you think they are important, suggests a good taste and sense on your side.
tactics: give genuine compliment, give praise without wanting anything back, pay special attention for people who often treated as unimportant, give public appreciation, everyone went through tough times ask about it.
arguments one: avoid heated argument, ex?
pr: what is the use of telling someone they are wrong when they didn’t ask for your opinion?, telling someone they are wrong will hurt their pride.
tactics: distrust your first instinctive its almost always wrong, and emotional.
if someone keeps going on about something you believe its wrong just say its right and go.
thank your opponents for the discussion and say you will think about it carefully.
