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Yes Dude Yes > Jokes 101 > Flashcards

Jokes 101 Flashcards

(84 cards)

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1
Q

Stammering or not knowing a language

A

Language sounds like someone with a brain disability

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2
Q

Saying “no”

A

Uhmm… well, that will be a resounding no 🚨

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3
Q

Unknown story build up

A

I don’t really have a Segway for this (a proper story leading up to)

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4
Q

Loser-ish appearance

A

Looks like chat gpt’s answer to:…(show me a virgin).

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5
Q

Unsexy in relation to someone else

A

A less f-able reimagining of:…(Someone’s name) 😂

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6
Q

Where do you get life advice?

A

Took advice from an online guru… Because life can get that low 😬

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7
Q

In a yango (cab, taxi, being driven around)

A

Try to get more value out of your yango by making them your therapist 👨🏽‍⚕️

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8
Q

Watching old p*rn or watching gilfs

A

Dead pornstars? Ain’t finna be a ghostbuster 👻💦

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9
Q

On holiday break from school

A

Out on probation (when the kids are on holiday)🕴🏽

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10
Q

We’re not all going to be doing this

A

Just suffer in solidarity with us 🚭

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11
Q

Do you have common sense?

A

Your intelligence is my common sense 🧠

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12
Q

You’re (body stigmatization) eg: fat, slim, short….etc

A

I’ve already accepted that years ago (comeback to something visibly evident) 😹

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13
Q

Ordering yango for someone

A

Turned into the minister of transportation 🚖

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14
Q

This is boring

A

Hideously boring

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15
Q

Superfluous (unnecessary) honesty

A

Out here picking the worst time to be honest 🫣

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16
Q

About to do something

A

Prepare to lower your expectations🪫

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17
Q

Slightly weird search on somebody else’s browser

A

Let’s get that in your search history 🔍🔞

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18
Q

Is it weird that I do so and so or…?

A

Leaving a rhetorical question on a “whether it’s crazy or not” question standing, auto makes it yes 💀

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19
Q

Sarcastic appreciation

A

I like that for you😸

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20
Q

Passing through

A

Sesheni ifi pupa npiteko🫡

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21
Q

Shots missed

A

Failed his whole generation♌

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22
Q

Can you do this and this? Or make me this thing

A

I can tell you this, creating a quantum computer much easier🙃

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23
Q

Turn off

A

The most unsexiest sentence said thus far😐

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24
Q

Nicely sounding,

A

First of all that would make a good name for a restaurant🤫 second (proceed to answer whatever the question is)

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25
Someone gives their opinion:
I like that but where are you coming from with this?🧐
26
Not celebrating when they should be
Get up when the spirit moves you stand up! laugh, clap, smile, dance…🥸
27
Everything wrong with the word
War, disease, death, distruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption 😶‍🌫️
28
Reviews, comments, criticism... etc
A bigger wake up call than any intervention can ever hope to be🙂‍↕️
29
to be tripping on spirits😵‍💫
I'm yaked!
30
Repeating the same word during speech
A verbal leach I can't get rid of🗣️
31
How often do you go to church, Going for class, Going to the club,
I don't have a specific place we gather every week to compare clothing 👑
32
What's your religion
Catholic; was what I was, until I reached the age of reason 😅
33
Ugly
A severe appearance deficit 😵
34
Weddings
Weddings are a scam where you spend money to put up a pop-up restaurant for 200 people you barely know 😅
35
Walking in or the deal has gone through
Was it luck, was it fate or was it my amazing good looks😎
36
I'm asking for a rubber 💀
No, I mean the rubber that actually erases mistakes and not the one that makes them😅😵
37
Being clueless Or why do yango drivers ask for the location?
Being as clueless as a yango driver with the gps coordinates to your location 😅
38
Girl: I like a guy that does so and so
Girls just be out here inventing the guy they want to cheat on 👷🏼‍♀️
39
Multitasking:
I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.😅
40
Girls with or without exp?
You want a formula 1 driver that's an expert in your stick shift 🎮
41
You're making excuses
Not an excuse... It's just what happened 😅
42
Situation segregation:
hiding from food shame😅
43
Situation at least:
"yeah cause that's what I really wanted" 😅
44
Situation praise: negative
"if losing was what you were aiming for" 📉
45
You're so childish
I'm Not childish; childhood trauma maybe, but not childish
46
Preference
Different strokes for different folks
47
looking for something
Peak at the coochie, see what flaps they got 😅
48
Did it with an ego
I was horny and didn't have enough blood flow in my brain to roast her stupid ass🩸
49
So dumb
Has never started a sentence with Therefore😅
50
Hey look what I can do?
It's a Skill set put it on your CV 👍🏾📜
51
Its nothing personal
Well personally speaking from my own personal experience personally I feel that was a little too personal 🧠
52
Situation argument gone on for too long:
argument domino forgot what the argument was all about 🧠
53
Eye roll
Role your eyes any harder you gonna look possessed😅
54
Expectations for the first date
My expectations fall In between a one night stand and marriage with three kids
55
You lack, passion ambition motivation soul
The ambition and motivation ended the moment I stopped being sperm
56
Face is too friendly
Everyone that sees me is like you wanna talk can I be a part of your day 😅
57
Someone gives an out of pocket analogy
Not the perfect analogy, but I feel it's decent
58
New love moving too fast
Every flame that starts quickly dies quickly 🧠
59
Beautiful
As an atheist I can safely say that, that is indeed God's work😸
60
Beautiful
As an atheist I can safely say that, that is indeed God's work😸
61
Have some patience
I'm impatient and impulsive does that work😸
62
Skinny girl walking away
Like two hard boiled eggs doing the salsa😵
63
What is retirement?
Retirement is when you stop sacrificing today for an imagined tomorrow
64
Truth or persuasion?
There is a difference between what is the truth and what can be said in a persuasive way 🧠
65
Not engaged
Does not want any part of it 😅
66
Burn
That's a middle finger shots fired! 🖕🏼
67
Procrastinating
such a procrastinator that you were 5 years old before you finished your first sentence, and even then it was "I'll do it tomorrow..." 😅
68
Any mathematically inclined conversation
No public math please, I just can't function mathematically 😸
69
Shaping your life
Life is about picking the thing you want and bending reality to make that thing happen… 🧠
70
Do you go to church?
I go to church every Sunday well... every other Sunday... I've been to church okay 👀😸
71
Is this even legal?
It's Within the letter of the law, but not the spirit of the law😸
72
Have you ever done it and how many times? (first base king)
A have a pretty good batting average but not a lot of home runs. Or A pretty good shot on goal average but not a lot of goals
73
Quality over quantity
well… my quantity is quality😸
74
When you see a dog that seems to be following you
Not exactly the bitches I was looking for, but it works
75
When a short guy stands up?
It's funny how when he stood up he was still the same height 😵
76
When you see a bonnet
If I was a bonnet would you give me head 😅
77
Something that's an Eye sore
Out here looking like the abortion that lived 😵
78
To my queen
You're My queen and my face is your throne 😸
79
Don't drink and drive
Then what's the cupholder for? 😅
80
Am I a funny guy?
People find me funny especially when I'm paying or giving them money 😅
81
One too many prangs in one day
English hall pass has been revoked.
82
Devaluing someone
Giving off Ex type of energy
83
School, and being broke
Uni is 98% being broke and 2% ticking timer to being broke again 😅
84
She's a 10, but she's smart?
How am I supposed to slowly tear down her self esteem to the point she thinks I'm the best she can do if she's smart?😅

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