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and consumption, also in that order.
Of course, plenty of other fails had died long before Nelly did. Why her own parents, Henry and Marietta fail, drowned in the Chicago river some thirteen years back, casualties of the Eastland riverboat disaster
and she thought to herself,
This is living, this is absolutely living.
The brand new stutz bearcat had not been his idea.
We certainly didnt need a car to come to america, and we dont need one to stay here!
When the Eastland rolled over and died. Marietta cried,
Henry, look out!
In shock from the collision, mother fail cried out
Henry, Henry!
The bearcat slid backward
Henry look out!
would be absolute applesauce.
Marietta Fail had not always been a fail, she started out a Marishka Peabody Failbottom of the Nelson Peabody Failbottoms. She first met her future husband, (and cousin by marriage) Heiner Failbottom, when she was thirteen years old at a dog derby. In a place their eldest daughter, Gerty, only ever heard them refer to as the old country. By 14, Heiner and Marishka were betrothed, by 15 they were wed, and by 16 the newly married cousins were on a boat bound for america.
teming with immigrants, opprotunity, and lice.
Mr and Mrs Fail came to the states with nothing to their name but the one time honored skill which had been a primary trade of the Failbottoms (on both sides) for over 100 years, clockworking.
and everyone HAD to have one
It wasnt long before Marietta joined him in the shop.
The fails had never been late for anything, ever.
Which is why on the day of her very first diving competition, the middlest fail girl, jenny june, did not understand why she couldnt find the proud faces of her parents in the crowd. She took second place in that diving competition by the way, extremely proud of her red ribbon, photographs from the event show two slippery boys perched on graduated wooden blocks and one gangly girl in an ill fitted swim cap, squinting into the crowd for signs of her parents. First place went to Northside German-boy Johnny Weismuller. It was on that day that Jenny June Fail decided both the sport and the sportsman she would spend the rest of her life attempting to conquer.
Jenny June Fail was an immediate water bug.
She took to the nearby river like a cog to a wheel. Much to the chagrin of her mother, Marietta, the river was how should we put this? Disgusting.
and never a day was she sick!
As a young girl of the river, Jenny June felt a certain connection to the city only her father understood. Henry knew what it meant to know a city from the water up, He understood his daughters need to pump herself through the veins of a place. So he encouraged her river endeavours, a pastime which Marietta Fail was quick to point out to her eldest daughter Gerty, was not becoming of a young lady.
Nelly united the affections of the fail family so unanimously that none could imagine a happier family.
But in 1910, Marietta Fail gave birth to a dead child she would have named Margaret, and nobody knew quite what to say.
the same black tar waters which had delivered him to the fail family home.
A lover of all things fauna, John N. Fail was forever bringing home new animal friends. Henry and Marietta did their best to accommodate as many of these as they could but Marietta absolutely put her foot down when it came to rats. Such a shame considering the plentiful supply of homeless rodientia from the oh so near riverbank.
I mean your hopes darling, your dreams for the future.
Though he’d made a fortune investing in futures, Mortimer Mortimer had never given much thought to his own. He never saw the point of concerning himself with anything but right now, for he’d never existed in any time other than right now, but right now , mortimer mortimer found himself face to face with his future.
Ive never been so happy as i am in this very moment.
She had less than a month to live.
when the only humane course of action is euthanasia.
John N. was never what you might call a “people person”
He’d never been at all ease with most members of the human race.
It’s my sisters you should be scared of, fix your collar.
In the two weeks they’d been courting, Nelly had not yet brought her intended upstairs to the fail family residence. And though she put up a strong front, she was every bit as nervous as mortimer mortimer.
into a cathedral of blue violents and trumpet creeper.
Her brother, John N Fail, still mourning the unexplained disappearance of his dear friend, Mae the monk parakeet, begrudgingly agreed to keep all the Budgerigars (budge er a gars) upstairs for the ceremony.
Shock, Disbelief, and Anger, also in that order.
Mortimer Mortimer arrived at the shop at lumber and love with a skip in his step, a freshly engraved watch in his pocket, and no idea that he was no longer a groom.
And what should have been a day of celebration became a day of mourning.
Nelly was the first of the fail girls to die, followed soon after by her sisters Jenny, and Gerty Fail in that order. Time continued on and so did the fails.
were not perhaps better candidates for extermination.
Mortimer Mortimer on the other hand, well, following Nelly’s death he was paralyzed by grief. He sat down on the bottom-most of the fail family stairs and fell asleep. In the story of his sleep, he was safe from the sadness of being awake.
The same thing december is doing in here. Destroying himself, out of loneliness.
At that moment, Jenny June Fail made a life-changing decision.
You ever smelled indiana?
Day swimming, Night swimming, dryland, river, lake, ice. Once Mortimer Mortimer suspended Jenny June from the ceiling with an exercise belt so she could practice floating through the air. But John N. walked in on the pair and seeing his sister dangling half-naked from the rafters, promptly fainted.
