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Human Sexuality > Love and Communication > Flashcards

Love and Communication Flashcards

1
Q

What is love?

A
  • Special attitude with behavioral and emotional components
  • Means different things to different people
  • Difficult to define and measure
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2
Q

Passionate love

A

− State of extreme absorption in another person
− Also known as romantic love

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3
Q

Companionate love

A

− Characterized by friendly affection and deep attachment based on
extensive familiarity with the loved one

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4
Q

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love

A

Love has three dimensions
intimacy, passion, commitment
as time passes, passion decreases, intimacy and commitment increase

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5
Q

Lee’s Styles of Loving

A

Characteristics of intimate human relationships
− Romantic (eros)
− Game-playing (ludus)
− Possessive (mania)
− Compassionate (storge)
− Altruistic (agape)
− Pragmatic (pragma)
* Hypothesis: relationship success is influenced by compatibility in styles of
loving

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6
Q

Chapman’s Five Love Languages

A
  • Prominent theory of love in pop culture
  • Chapman proposes five ways of expressing/receiving love called love
    languages
    − Receiving gifts
    − Quality time
    − Words of affirmation
    − Acts of service (devotion)
    − Physical touch
  • Limited empirical support
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7
Q

Falling in Love: Why and With Whom?

A
  • The chemistry of love
    − Neurotransmitters: norepinephrine, dopamine, phenylethylamine
    (PEA), and endorphins
     Strong link between feelings of being in love and release of
    neurotransmitters
    − Potential impact of hormonal contraception use in women
     Reduced attractiveness to potential partners due to altered
    chemical fertility signals
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8
Q

Proximity and Similarity

A
  • Geographic nearness of one person to another
    − Mere exposure effect: familiarity breeds liking or loving
    − Greater proximity often reflects shared interests
  • Similarity of beliefs, interests, and values
    − Level of physical attractiveness
    − Age, educational status, and religion
    − Race and ethnicity
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9
Q

Reciprocity

A

When we are recipients of expressions of liking or loving, we tend to
respond in kind
− Increases self-esteem

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10
Q

Physical attractiveness: physical beauty

A

− Important in early stages; draws people together
− May be an indicator of physical health
− Males place greater emphasis on physical attractiveness

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11
Q

Attachment

A

intense emotional tie between two individuals
− Rooted in infancy

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12
Q

Ainsworth’s attachment styles

A

− Secure, insecure, anxious-ambivalent, and avoidant attachment
* Adult intimate relationships as an attachment process
− Parent–child attachment styles are transferred

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13
Q

Issues in Loving Relationships

A

Relationship between love and sex
− Relationship between the two is not always clear
 For example, “friends with benefits”
 Gender differences: women may feel more emotionally involved
− Questions to debate
 Does sexual intimacy deepen a love relationship
 Do men and women have different views of sex and love
 How do personal attributes differentiate views on sex and love

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14
Q

Jealousy in Relationships

A

Jealousy-prone person
− Tends to have low self-esteem and place a high value on wealth
and popularity
− Jealousy can precipitate partner violence
* Sex differences
− Women are more likely to acknowledge feelings of jealousy
− Men tend to focus more on sexual involvement with another
Robert

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15
Q

Ingredients in a lasting love relationship

A

− Self-acceptance and acceptance of partner
− Appreciation of each other and commitment
− Good communication, realistic expectations, and shared interests
− Equality in decision making
− Ability to face and deal with conflict

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16
Q

Characteristics of high quality relationships

A

− Supportive communication
− Companionship
− Sexual expression and variety
− Seeing partner as a best friend
− Maintaining frequent positive interaction

17
Q

Sexual variety: an important ingredient

A

− Communication is critical: talk about desires, needs, and feelings
− Be spontaneous: avoid routine times and places
− Do not let questions of what is “normal” get in the way

18
Q

Importance of Sexual Communication

A

Most important role of communication
− Establish and maintain consent in sexual experiences
* Mutual empathy
− Underlying knowledge that each partner in a relationship cares for
the other and knows that this care is reciprocated

19
Q

Talking: Getting Started

A

Ways to break the ice
− Talking about talking
 Discuss why it is hard to talk about
 Talk about nonthreatening topics (e.g., birth control methods)
− Reading and discussing
 Books and articles
− Sharing sexual histories
 Depends on needs and feelings

20
Q

Listening and Feedback

A

Good listening traits
− Be an active listener
− Maintain eye contact
− Provide feedback
− Support your partner’s communication efforts
− Express unconditional positive regard

21
Q

Discovering Your Partner’s Needs

A

Asking questions
− Yes/No questions
− Open-ended questions
− Either/Or questions
* Self-disclosure
− Requires give and take
− Internet relationships: rapidly evolving
* Discussing sexual preferences
− Matter of preference: some feel comfortable while some do not
* Giving permission
− Providing reassurance to one’s partner that it is okay to talk about
specific feelings or needs

22
Q

Learning to Make Requests

A

Taking responsibility for our own pleasure
− People are not mind readers
* Making requests specific
− The more specific a request is, the more it will be understood
* Using “I” language
− Forthright approach brings about the desired response more easily

23
Q

Expressing and Receiving Complaints

A

Constructive strategies for expressing complaints
− Choose the right time and place
− Temper complaints with praise
− Avoid “why” questions
− Express negative emotions appropriately
− Limit complaints to one per discussion
Receiving complaints
− Acknowledge a complaint and find something to agree with
− Ask clarifying questions
− Express your feelings
− Focus on future changes you can make

24
Q

Saying No

A

Three step approach to saying no
− Express appreciation for the invitation
− Say no in a clear, unequivocal fashion
− Offer alternatives
* Avoid sending mixed messages
− When nonverbal messages contradict verbal messages, partners
can have difficulty grasping our true intention

25
Q

Nonverbal Sexual Communication

A

Facial expressions
− Often communicate feelings
* Interpersonal distance
− Personal space
* Touching
− Can convey special messages or defuse anger
* Sounds
− Can indicate, hinder, or increase arousal

26
Q

Gottman’s constructive communication tactics

A

− Leveling and editing
− Validating
− Volatile dialogue

27
Q

Gottman’s destructive communication tactics

A

− Criticism and contempt
− Defensiveness
− Stonewalling
− Belligerence

Human Sexuality (6 decks)

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