love & attraction Flashcards
(27 cards)
what is the importance of studying love and challenge?
Importance:
Fundamental and universal aspect of human nature
People have a very strong need to belong
Challenge:
Few studies because random assignment is unethical (hallmark of experimental method)
What 5 things lead to attraction?
5 key ingredients for predicting attraction both friendhsip and love
1. Proximity
2. Similarity
3. Reciprocal Liking
4. Physical Attractiveness
5. Misattribution of Arousal
what is proximity?
Proximity
- The more we see and interact with people, the more likely they are to become our friends and lovers (people we’re close to)
- Also known as the **Propinquity Effect **
- propinquity effecgts occurs at many levels
Mere exposure effect
Mere Exposure Effect
- Proximity leads to attraction because of the mere exposure effect
- More exposure = more liking
Example Study (Moreland & Beach, 1992)
- Female confederate comes to class 0, 5, 10, or 15 times a semester
- Sits alone- does not talk to classmates or prof
- prof asks by end of semester if the students liked her. the more she showed up to class, the more the students were to like here whereas in the semesrers she doesn’t show up, those students didn’t care for her as much.
- How does repeated exposure influence liking?
- more exposure to the studnet the more they reported liking her.
- proximity brings more exposure to people so more we like them.
what is functional distance?
functional distance is not just about the distance between peoples room, but architecture designs that bring people together.
- those whose dorms were by stairs had more access to the people directly beloq the stairs which they foun had clsoer relationships.
- functional distance allows for more interaction and friendships.
proximity study
strangers are put together in dorms, researchers wants to see how close people became with those aorund them.
- results; 65% of the time, close frineds were in the same common building (dorm)
- next door; 41%
- two doors apart; 22%
- 10% opposite ends of the hall
- we cross paths with people that are lcose to us; more likely to become friends.
- found functional distance mattered too.
what is similarity
Similarity
- We are attracted to people who are like us
- Dating sites offer mating on the basis of similarity in form of profile matching
Subtle Similarity: Mimicry
Similarity: Man’s Best Friend
- People choose purebred dogs who look like themselves (Roy & Christenfeld, 2004)
- people tend to gravitate towards pets that look like them.
what is reciprocal liking
Reciprocal Liking
- When you like someone and they like you
- Can overpower similarity; if you like someone who is dissimilar to you, you may overlook that if they like you.
- if you have high esteem then reciprocal liking becomes big predictor and liking, they don;t question why people likle them where as low self esteem people do.
physcial attractiveness
- Physical attractiveness
Looks matter too!
752 new students randomly paired for orientation dance - Greatest predictor of liking one’s date = physical attractiveness (surpassed humor, similarities, etc)
- not alwyas the top predictor but one predictor od initial attraction.
What is Attractive? - Is beauty in the eye of the beholder or do we share ideas of what is attractive?
- Generally, concepts of beauty are shared
- Women – big eyes show baby like qualities prompt feelings of nurturance
- Men- prominent cheek bones are a sign of sexual maturity (reached the age of procreation)
what is the matching phenomenon
Matching Phenomenon
- People tend to pair with off with people equal in attractiveness
- Predicts relationship satisfaction and longevity
- face cemetry
what is the misattribution of arousal?
MISATTRIBUTION OF AROUSAL: people mistakenly infer what is causing them to feel the way they do
Misattribution of Arousal
- Capilano Suspension Bridge (Dutton & Aron, 1974)
- Female researcher (confederate) approached men:
low sturdy bridge (while they were on bridge; low brudge, high bridge two conditions)
- Swinging suspension bridge to help with questionnaire, left her phone number
- DV: How many men called her?
- key question; Did the bridge she approached them on matter?
- - did the bridge increase or decrease likelihood of the males calling?
- yes those on the high bridge called more than the ones on the low sturdy bridge
Why?
- Because these men noticed their hearts pounding and misinterpreted the source of this arousal
- Believed that their attraction to this woman was the reason for their excitement, not the swinging suspension bridge
- we try to make sens eof why we’re feeling the ya we are and might misattribute it to having feelings for this person.
dating tips
Proximity – go to local bar, walk by person of interest several times (not obvious)
Similarity – sit/stand like them, highlight similarities
Reciprocal Liking – show interest, smile
Physical Attractiveness – shower, look your best
Misattribution of Arousal – get heart pounding (scary movie, exciting location) in hopes that you’ll be seen as the source of arousal
evolutionary theory of attraction
Evolutionary Theory of Attraction
- Evolutionary theories -love and attraction driven by goal of passing on genes
- People have evolved to maximize chances of “reproductive success”
- Different strategies for men and women
- for men to pass on their genes, at a minimm, it might be a mtter of minutes.
- they might seek out more frequent pairings, and be less choosing (quantity, not quality)
- Men; Little Cost →Preference Frequent Pairing
- Women; High Cost→ Preference Quality Pairing
- women have higher costs invovle din passing on genes. 9-10 on gestation –> higher reproductive fitnes, their likings will be on quality pairings over quantity. (quality not quantity)
study of evolutionary theory clark and hatfield
-recruited attractive college students approach opposite sex with same statement (I have been noticing you around campus. I find you very attractive… ) then given 3 different endings.
-Would you go out with me tonight?
- Would you come over to my apartment tonight?
- Would you go to bed with me tonight?
- did men and women react differently
- results;
- 50% for both men and women said yes to the first statement (go out)
- second statement; 80% males say yes, 10% women say yes
- last statement; over 80% men and 0 for women.
- Men; →Appearance signals fertility
Women; → Wealth signals resources
women and men seeking what
Women seeking Men?
* Desire status, wealth (quality)?
* Advertise fertility, beauty?
* Other attraction cues?
Men seeking Women?
* Desire fertility?
* Offer wealth/status?
* Other cues?
* Homosexuality - same drives
what is love?
What is Love?
- One theory of love suggests there are two distinct types of love (Berscheid & Hatfield)
- Companionate Love: Intimacy and affection for another person we care deeply about
- not necessairly romanctice, could be siblings, parents, friends, any companion role.
- Passionate Love: Intense longing and physiological arousal for another person
- ecstacy and despair
- spouse, boyfriends , girlfriend
what is sternbergs s (1986) Triangular Theory
of Love
Love has 3 ingredients
– Intimacy: Knowing a lot about each other and
being close/bonded.
– Commitment: Intention to maintain relationship.
– Passion: “Hot” stuff, sexual arousal
- Can be combined to form different flavours of
love**
triangle
- intimacy (liking - intimacy alone)
- companionate love (intimacy + commitment)
- commitment (empty love + commitment alone)
- fatuous love (passion + commitment)
- passion (infatuation- passion alone)
- romantic love (intimacy + passion)
center of love
- consummate love (intimacy + passion + commitment)
what is social exchange theory?
- Views relationship with economic model of costs and benefits
- Feelings about one’s relationship depend on:
- cost/reward of current relationship –> reward/cost ratio (reward is anything positive; money, clout) (cost; partner in debt, partner toxic) - they thinka bout rewards and costs
- feelings of what one feels they deserve –> comparison level (IF YOU FEEL YOU DEServe toxicity you stay, if you believe you deserve everything good, you leave- think you can do better or think you deserve this person)
- whether they could have a better relationship elsewhere –> comparison level for alternatives (people may be happy but think they cna do better and leave. people think of things outside their relationship and factor it in- may leave or stay)
what is the investment model
Investment Model (Rusbult, 1980)
- Need to consider level of investment in the relationship
- “Investments” can include material objects (e.g., money, house, possessions) or intangibles (e.g., emotions, time)
- Greater investment → less likely to leave
- if you’ve been with someone for years, have a child, house, its not easy to pack up and go then it is if you’ve been with someoe for a month.
things that factor in
- rewards (eg, kisses & shared experiences-> pie) - costs (dirty dishes)
- investment (apartment kids many years in rel, tangible & intangible investments)
- quality of alternative (other people and things available outside relationships)
what is the equity theoy
Equity Theory
- What about fairness?
- Equity theory; people are happiest with relationships where the reward/cost ratio is similar for both people involved
- Feel uneasy when we are over or under benefited
- uncomfortable when we recieve too much or give too much
- Do we keep track of fairness the same way for long and short-term relationships?
No!
what is communal relationship
Communal Relationships:
- Don’t like to be repaid immediately
- Don’t feel exploited when contributions are not returned
- Don’t keep track of who contributes what
- Helping other makes us happy
what are exchange relationships
Exchange Relationships:
- Repay immediately
- Feel exploited when contributions are not returned
- Keep track of who contributes what
- getting coffee for coworker, might think next time the coworler will get me something
- Helping other has no effect on mood
equity theories; uncomfortable outcomes
Equity Theories: Uncomfortable Outcomes
Unpredictable and uncomfortable outcomes may occur when these two relationships mix
Example. Paying friends for help (ask to help move)
Communal relationship → wrong to pay
role of adversity
Role of Adversity
- Commitment Calibration Hypothesis (Lydon, 1999): The impact of adversity on a relationship depends on commitment to relationship
- in a high commiment rel and you face low adversity challenge, your relationships wont face hiccups; smooth sailing
- in low commitment if you face adversity (high adversity; break relationship)
- your level of commitment is equally matched to level fo adversity, research suggests that the relationship will be strengthened
- couples can band together and grow
