Memoir Flashcards
- Domestic violence is so much more than a black eye. For three grueling years, my mum did what she had too for us to survive.
She was forced to stay in the abusive relationship with Dave, for the health and safety of us, her three kids. She was manipulated, beaten, threatened, taken advantage of all physically, emotionally, financially, and had us, slammed into doors, screamed at, and pounded by his fists and shoes. The black eyes, hospital trips, and emotional scarring had no effect on her, his final fault was touching her kids. I was 7 when it happened, almost a decade ago, yet I remember it so clearly, his first and final strike and all the events that led up to it.
- My brother Corbin, who was 5 at the time, and I thought he was going to be our new dad.
It had only been a week after mum cheated on dad for him that we were introduced. After this our own father refused to talk to us, so Dave was like our new dad. He did so much for us and mum. He encouraged mum to take dad to court to make him see us and have a relationship with us. He helped mum overcome her mental health battles, divorce, and the isolation she received from all her friends, and family, including her own mum and dad who refused to speak to her until 7 years after their divorce. He came to all my school events, looked after me, cared for me and Corbin like we were his own. Everything was going great with our new dad.
- One Friday afternoon, I opened the door to mum standing pale in front of me with a bruised eye, cuts of her face and ripped out hair.
“What happened?” I asked in shock.
“I got in a car accident on the way home from picking Dave up from work.” She said innocently, walking past me. As I went to shut the door, I had a look at the car. The bright silver Mitsubishi shining in the light with no dents, no scratches, and no dirt on it. I looked back at mum as she continued walking to the kitchen with bruises on her wrist and the back of her neck. She turned the corner, she was in agony, holding back tears.
- The final parts of their relationship I could recount step for step, word for word, bruise for bruise.
We were in the car, on the way to the shops in Bunbury, on the easter break. Dave was screaming at mum and swearing and swerving, trying to control the car, while mum was crying.
“Stop swearing it’s not nice!” I joked to him as I tapped his arm resting on the middle console with my gumboot from the floor of the car. He lost control. He let go of the wheel and pounded my boot on Corbin’s head.
“It wasn’t him!” Mum cried, grasping the free steering wheel, spinning the car back into her control. He went on to throw it at Jacob, his own child, who at the time was only 3.
“It was me!” I screamed with tears gushing down my face, stopping Dave just before he could hit his own kid. He then belted me six times with the boot across my wrist, knee and face, while mum sat there holding the steering wheel, crying hysterically.
“Stop it!” she yelled, grabbing the boot from him. Dave turned back around, grabbed the steering wheel and panted in rage, his breaths quickly growing louder and louder. He grabbed the stereo, playing loudly some upbeat song, and threw it out of the window.
The silence was deafening.
“Turn around” Mum told him, breaking the silence. He kept driving. “Turn around or I’ll call the police”, she yelled to him. He kept driving. Mum picked up the phone and started dialling three numbers. “Yes, my ex is driving me and my kids away and is not stopping we need help…” Dave suddenly crossed over the island in the middle of the road to turn back around to our campsite. “… It’s okay he’s going back now” she cried.
- I could go on about all the things he did to me, my brother and his own kid, but this memoir has a max word count for a reason.
I could write a story on all the horrible things he has done to us, and how mum has overcome them, but the first and the last signs of the abuse I saw in that relationship, are the most important. I’d love to tell you about the happy life my mum led after her triumph, but it would be a lie. She fell into that same trap, putting all of us through the same trauma again, with her next partner Demond. She was manipulated. She was and always has been too forgiving, and welcoming for second, third and forth chances. She has always put her kids first. When they broke up, they told us it was all over, that we could live a better life now, but in life, there are never final strikes, it’s endless.
