Midterm Flashcards
(157 cards)
1
Q
What is resilience?
A
Ability to withstand and rebound from disruptive life challenges.
Promoted through secure attachment.
Nature (genetics) + Environment (SES, Ousider status, truama, parenting, dominant narrative…)
2
Q
Child needs for resilience:
A
- Clear authoritative structure
- Love nurturance
- Flexibility
- Effective communication (dissemination of info., emotion regulation, conflict resolution)
3
Q
Symptoms (as defined from a developmental standpoint)
A
Unsuccessful attempts at adaptation.
4
Q
Charismatic Adult:
A
Caring adult that makes a positive difference in a person’s life, from whom someone gathers strength.
Related to resilience.
5
Q
Aspects of a Positive Mindset
A
- Internal Locus of Control (empowerment vs. blame)
- Empathy in communicating effectively
- Consider how you would want others to describe you
6
Q
Aspects of Negative Mindset:
A
- Helplessness
- Hopelessness
- Others don’t understand and can’t help
- I make little difference
- Things are unfair
- Feel unloved and unappreciated
7
Q
Domains within Developmental Metaframework (Bruner)
A
Culture’s treasury of toolkits to which any individual becomes an expert in some, but not all.
Differential access to and use of domain-specific toolkits
Knowledge and skills are acquired relative to specific domains
8
Q
Family Life Cycle comprised of
A
normatively expected events defined by 1. institutional norms; 2. life tasks; 3. marked by transitional events
Structure changes
S4: if emotional issues and developmental tasks are not resolved, they are carried along and act as constraints for future generations
9
Q
Cohort Specificity based on age
A
Events occurring in childhood shape background assumptions about life and world.
Events in adolescence shape conscious identity.
Events in adulthood affect the opportunities individuals have open but not values or identity.
10
Q
Current Factors Affecting Family Development:
A
- Longevity
- Marriage Patterns
- Childbearing
- “Traditional” Family
- Gender Role Shifts
- Economic/Time Pressures (working more)
- Global Community
- Class Issues
11
Q
Unequal Childhoods vs. Dominant Myth
A
Dominant belief that US is open society = myth that success determined by hard work, effort, and talent, and that all children have equal chances.
Negates influence of social inequity and blames individuals for their status
12
Q
Concerted cultivation
A
From Unequal Childhoods
Held by upper classes, more in line with major institutions and thus bestows advantages (ex. sense of entitlement)
13
Q
Accomplishment of Natural Growth
A
From Unequal Childhoods
Held by parents of lower classes.
Children gain emerging sense of distrust, distance, and constraint in their institutional experiences
14
Q
Issues in Couplehood
A
- Economic
- Emotional (attachment)
- Power/Boundaries
- Sex
- Chores/Leisure Activities
- Child Rearing (whether to have, parenting)
15
Q
Three ways our culture places more emotional demands on couples:
A
- Socialy Mobility
- Distance from extended family support
- Focus on the nuclear family
16
Q
SES factors correlated with divorce:
A
low education
low income
younger
17
Q
Healthy Reasons to Marry
A
- Similar values, interests, life goals
- Passionate interest in and respect for each other
- Strong mutuality
18
Q
Less Healthy Reasons to Marry
A
- Compensating for issues in FOO (ex. get away from enmeshing, seeking make up for lack of love)
- Loss of transitional family, socially lonely, or responding to other losses
- Decision pressure (it’s time, familiarity, family)
- Expectation of “healing” of prior relationships or escape from negative one
- Pregnancy
19
Q
Attractions of similarity in relationships:
A
- Attractiveness
- Values
- Interests
- Sex-role performance expectations
- FOO role “fit” (Napier)
20
Q
Downside of similarities in relationships:
A
- May cause blindspots
- May cause projection of something you do not like about yourself
21
Q
Pro and Con of Differences in Relationships
A
Pro: Partners integrate the differences internally, expanding the self
Con: Partners rely on external balance which tends to exaggerate the differences over time and produce conflict
22
Q
Role of femininity in relationships:
A
Strongly associated with marital satisfaction as measured in both partners.
More symmetrical
Expressive competence
Sensitivity to others
23
Q
Why do premarital couples rarely seek treatment?
A
- Pseudomutuality or fusion
- Idealization
- Denying negative reactions
24
Q
What period of marriage experiences largest drop in relationship satisfaction?
A
Newly Married
Plateaus after 4th year
25
Common reasons young couples seek therapy:
1. FOO
2. Power & Control (issues with differentiation)
3. Intimacy/Communication (issues due to initial experiences of disillusionment)
- attachment styles affect #3
26
FOO problems with Newlyweds
1. Lack of resolution of FOO relationships (triggers)
2. Enmeshment (guilt, unclear boundaries)
3. Disengagement (bring emotional need into marriage)
4. Cut-offs (more = greater likelihood spouse will come to represent more than who he/she is)
5. Dealing with differences
27
Basis for resiliency or lack thereof: (attachment)
1. The self: am I worthy of love and attention?
2. the other: will he/she be available, sensitive, and responsive?
28
What does the internal working model of attachment tell to the infant?
The availability and responsiveness in relationships.
Individual develops behavioral strategies to predict, control, and protect themselves in social interactions.
Elicts confirmatory data from others' responses.
Over time S2, S3 sequences are repeated and become "scripts" that develop narrative meanings and become expected in relationships
29
(Hendrix) on what people are attracted to related to attachment styles:
We are drawn to marry someone with interlocking issues.
Differences present opportunities to change ourselves in interaction with our partner and in the process "heal" each other.
30
Therapeutic Goals with Couples:
1. **Interrupt** destructive communication and internal narratives (CNI)
2. Increase **communication** and negotiation skills
3. Increase relationship **empathy** = cherish
4. Focus on **repair** efforts = **connection** in the face of disillusionment
5. **Differentiation** = maintaining self-in-relationship
31
How to interrupt destructive communication and internal narratives:
1. Normalize power struggles and conflict
- FOO, circularity, vulnerabilitis/primary emotions
2. Increase understanding of CNI as distortion
- FOO, attachment
3. Identify Gottman's 4 Horsemen
- contempt, defensiveness, criticism, stonewalling
32
Increase Communication and Negotiation Skills (identify and replace)
Identify:
1. Needing to be right
2. Controlling your partner
3. Undbridled self-expression
4. Retaliation
5. Withdrawal
Replace with:
1. Speaking relationally
2. Listening relationally
3. Contracting
33
Tennis Metaphor in Relationships
Playing to increase volleys, extend the game vs. playing to win
Say something/listen so your partner can hear/respond to it
34
Receptivity Regulator
Part of listening relationally.
Listen with an internal boundary to control your own internal reactivity
35
Listen Relationally
Lead with **agreement**, not argument.
Look for opportunities to **repair** by remaining enganged and **curious**.
\*\* Men may experience this as subjugation \*\*
36
Speak Relationally
1. Tell **your truth**, not the truth (move away from battle of perception)
2. **Contract t**o speak
3. Speak from the **"I"**
4. Move from complaint to **request** (neg. past to pos. future)
37
Cherish (relating to empathy)
Remember that this is the person you love and want to spend the rest of your life with.
38
Relational Esteem
Capacity to hold the relationship in **warm regard** in the face of its **imperfections and limitations**, to cherish the relationship as union of two **flawed** human beings.
Not something one has but something one **does**.
39
Increase Relationship Empathy
1. Cherish
2. Reconnect with beginning of relationship
3. Be sensitive to partner's triggers
4. Relational Esteem
40
Focus on Repair Efforts
1. Re-focus in-session
2. Hold each partner responsible for own part
3. Move from complaint to future solution
41
Differentiation/Relational Integrity
1. Manage your end
2. Appropriate shame
3. Stay moderate in face of partner's extreme
4. Detachment from outcome
42
Appropriate shame in relationships =
Remorse as applied to one's own behavior with an emphasis on making amends.
43
Cognitive Development **Birth-6 Months**
- Babble, coo, cry in different ways to **express** needs/feelings
- Study **hands/feet**
- Can focus on and follow **objects** but NOT object permanence
- **explore** things with mouths
44
Social and Emotional Development **Birth - 6 Months**
- Attachment
- Trust or lack thereof is developing
- Show Emotion (universals), smile in response
45
Birth - 6 Months Attachment
- Physical needs met
- Verbal and physical stimulation and comfort
- Fit with parents
- How parents adapt if not good fit
46
Intellectual Development **6-12 Months**
- Wave **"bye"** and play pat-a-cake
- **Object permanence**
- Can respond to simple **directions**
- Beginning of **language**
- Can **imitate** adult actions
- Can "**pretend**" by acting out familiar activities
47
Social and Emotional Development **6-12 Months**
- Respond to **name**
- **Stranger** anxiety, fear of being left by parents
- Begin to understand what is (not) **allowed**
- **Eye contact** replaces need for physical contact
- Will talk to selves in front of **mirror**
48
Most Common types of Infants (Brazelton):
1. Mellow, laid-back, slow to develop
2. Even-tempered who develops according to plan
3. Hyperactive, intense who may hit milestones quicker
4. Colicky -- sensitive to stimuli, easily agitated
49
Infant Needs:
1. Basic needs met on consistent, dependable basis
2. Routine
3. Visual Stimulation
4. Physical nurturance and verbal interaction
50
Intellectual Development of Toddlers
1. Easily **distracted**
2. Explores through **touch**
3. Loves repetition and **routine**
4. Loves **pretending**
5. Asks **"why"**
51
Social and Emotional Development in Toddlers
1. Parallel Play
2. Develop autonomy through concept of "me" and "mine"
3. Temper tantrums
4. Can develop separation anxiety
52
Cognitive Development in Pre-Schoolers
- Pre-logical
- **Animism/fantasy** -- not clear distinction between reality and fantasy ("magical years")
- Magical thinking
53
Moral Development in Pre-Schoolers
Simplistic view of right/wrong.
Reward-based:
reward = it's right **vs.** punishment = wrong
54
Emotional Development in Pre-Schoolers
- omnipotent/narcissistic
- spontaneous
- playful
55
Pre-Schooler Fears
- supernatural = "monsters"
- body integrity = concerned that their body parts work correctly
56
Social Development in Pre-Schoolers
1. Adult orientation \*\*
2. Identification/role playing
3. Associative play (not organized)
4. Behavioral contagion (monkey see, monkey do)
5. Imaginary friends
57
School-Age Cognitive Development
1. concrete/relational/literal
2. try to make sense of world through "**rules**" (one explanation is enough, the truth; accepting of adult influence)
3. organized, continuous **memory**, recalls "a past"
4. categorization, conservation, serialization **skills**
58
School-Age Moral Development
1. _Rigid moralism_ - absolute standard of right and wrong
2. _Legalistic_ - believe in harsh punishment
59
School-Age Emotional Development
1. Compentency = what am I good at?
2. Conformity (fads)
3. secrets/rules/rituals
4. Belongingness - peer importance (same sex/age)
60
School-Age Social Development
1. Peer culture (same age/sex)
2. Games/sports/jokes/lore/secrets
3. Sexual curiosity
4. Scapegoating/exclusion/bullying (part of belonging involves identifying those who don't)
61
School-Age Fears
1. Not belonging
2. Not being "good enough"
3. Reality based -- real-life perils (bullies, loss)
* for fears -- give tools, rule (remember, generally accepting of adult influence)*
62
Common Tasks in Transition to Parenthood
1. **Role** definition
2. Arranging good **child-care** (#1 practical concern)
3. Granting appropriate **independence** as child matures
4. Being comfortable with **authority** (boundary-setting)
5. Maintain **connection** and coordination with extended family and other caregivers
6. Finding time for **self-care** and nurturing couple
63
Family Structures:
1. Tradtional nuclear (gender roles prominent)
2. 3-Generational (complicated role definitions)
3. Divorce, step-family, remarriage
4. Single parents (RESOURCES)
5. Adoptive (bonding, expection, motivations)
64
Common Presenting Problems with Young Children:
1. Disruptive behavior disorders (\>50%)
2. Emotional problems (anxiety, fears, depression)
3. Social and learning problems
\*Usually first come to attention of pediatrician\*
65
Parenting Issues with young kids:
1. Attachment
2. Parental conflict
3. Over or under-involvement
4. Discipline
5. Communication style
6. Mental illness, violence, addiction
66
Parental Conflict with young kids
Good guy/bad guy
Gender roles (jealous of and feel unappreciated by the other)
67
Working class/poor parenting style:
More likely to see development as spontaneous and therefore less likely to provide organized leisure activities, lessons, or support for homework.
More distrustful and less contact with outside institutions.
Use directives, not reasoning.
68
Cohort Effects (Parenting Young Kids)
1. Economic pressures
2. Entitlement (Taffel - Childhood Unbound)
3. Anxiety due to endless access to adult media, less confidence in parents' ability to protect
4. Over-protecting children from failure limits self-esteem
5. Narcissistic culture (need to mirror actual child, not idealized one)
69
Developing therapeutic alliance with parents of young kids:
- Aware that parents feel **guilty** and will become defensive if therapist activates that
- Start with what **parents** see as presenting problem
- Talk at **child's level** (play, enactment, metaphors)
- Introduce concept of "**good enough**" parent
70
Why focus on structure with parents with young kids?
1. Make sense to families
2. Parents working on concrete tasks makes couple issues more accessible
3. Clear goals = easier to work on communication issues
4. Children respond well to predictability and ritual
71
Maturity (as defined by theory of self in context)
Ability to live in respectful relation to others and to our complex and multifaceted world
72
Homeplace
Related to need to **belong**.
Involves mulitlayered individual and family processes that are anchored in physical space that elicits feelings of **empowerment**, commitment, safety, and renewel.
Ability to develop **relationships** that provide solid sense of social and cultural identity.
Site of **resistance** against oppressive forces of society.
73
Most challenging aspect of development:
Beliefs about and interaction with others who are different from ourselves
74
Factor most linked to empathic concerns =
level of paternal involvement in childcare
75
School success predicted by:
social and emotional intelligence
NOT fund of facts or desire to read
76
Emotional and Social incompetence lead to:
1. Prejudice, lack of empathy
2. Aggression, poor self-control
3. Depression, poor academic performance
4. Addictions
77
Adultolescence
Period that is expanding at both ends in between childhood and independent adulthood
78
Four conceptions of normal family:
1. Normal as asymptomatic
2. Normal as average
3. Normal as healthy
4. Normal in relation to basic transactional processes in family systems (affirms varied coping styles)
79
Belief Systems to build resilience:
1. Make meaning of adversity together
2. Positive outlook, initiative, master the possible
3. Transcendence/spirituality, purpose, growth
80
Organizational patterns of resilience:
1. Flexible stability with leadership
2. Connectedness, support, respect
3. Social and economic resources
81
Communication/problem solving for resilience:
1. Clear, consistent messages
2. Open emotional expression
3. Collaborative problem solving, proactive
82
Marriage Paradox
View marriage as cultural ideal, but it conflicts with our belief in free choice.
Becomes reflected in high rate of marital breakups
83
Differences in expression of fusion based on gender:
Men = maintaining pseudo-differentiated distant position in relationships or by possessive demands that partner conform to their wishes
Women = giving themselves, their dreams, and their opinions up to the relationship
84
Consequence of defining self by one's spouse =
less flexibility in relationship and the more communication will become constricted in areas that are emotionally charged
constricts empathic response if feel responsible for partner's feelings
85
Types of negative reciprocity:
1. Negative escalation (most harmful)
2. Matching negativity for negativity (exists in all marriages)
86
Conflict styles of happy couples:
1. Validators - emphasize "we"
2. Volatile
3. Avoiders - emphsize positive aspects
87
"Accepting influence" to predict divorce -
Husband's rejection of influence from wife predicted divorce
88
Critical factor that defines unhappy relationships:
hopelessness
89
Unhappy couples characterized by:
1. Negativity toward spouse
2. chaotic perceptions
3. disappointment/disillusionment
90
Happy couples characterized by:
1. Fondness and admiration
2. Awareness or Love Maps
3. Glorifying the struggle (worth it)
4. We-ness
91
Vulnerable couples in transition to parenthood:
1. Husbands tended to express negativity towards their wives
2. Partners likely to view their lives as chaotic
92
Strategy for growth in relationships
Unconscious, rooted in FOO's.
Help partners realize its existence in their choice of each other and that the growth rarely comes without pain and effort.
93
Additional tasks of adoptive families:
1. Story about adoption
2. Addressing divided loyalties
3. Managing child's curiosity about bio parents
4. Managing feelings of separation and loss
94
Factors if child will have negative reaction to marital conflict:
1. Child's perception of its destructiveness
2. child's perception of threat to itself
3. degree to which child blames self
95
Common issues of resentment with new parents:
Wife = husband's lack of involvement in child care and housework
Husband = wife's ingratitude for long hours he works to support family
96
Primary determinant of children's well-being =
Social class
97
Housework and childcare ratios, women: men
Housework = 2:1
Childcare = 5:1
98
Variables that predict positive transition to parenthood:
1. Realistic expectations
2. Good couple communication
3. Adaptability of each partner to change
4. Ability to tolerate chaos, noise, sleep deprivation, and lack of solitude
99
Misattribution of blame for "workaholic"
Employees (and their families) view their overwork as the result of their own (or their partner's) inability to set limits or work efficiently.
More adaptive = understandable attempt to survive in unstable, demanding employment culture
100
How should dual-earners talk about work?
Intentionally, not apologetically, to give partner a sense of their enjoyment and excitement.
101
Myths that interfere with realistic coping with time constraints to couple/family time:
1. Spontaneity
2. Infinite predictibility (need compromise)
3. Total control
4. Quality time unnecessary with chuncks of leisure
5. Housework/chores must be sequestered from fun time
102
Decompression chamber/sequence
Recommended for both partners to make list of activities after work that he/she finds best to relax and to transition to the rest of the evening
103
What does it mean to say that many adolescents live in two worlds?
1. Families, communities that are ethnic enclaves with cultural expectations
2. Dominant, patriarchal culture where often feel powerless, uncomfortable and afraid of not being accepted
104
"Second family" of adolescents =
Peers
With whom adolescents begin to act mature and responsible
105
Abdication dynamic
Parents are so demoralized by divorce that while they may go through the motions of parenting, they are essentially absent as effective parents in their children's lives.
106
Adolescent sensibility
Tendency for some **parents** to feel rebellious in midlife (often covertly) against the stricters of convention and obligation.
**Reinforces** rebellious streak in adolescents.
Outbreak of **primitive emotion** in the adolescent side of both generations.
107
Largest group of symptomatic adolescents =
Rejected
Suddenly displaced (such as through remarriage)
Parental projections or badness
Invisible "good child"
108
Delegated children
Positive = lives for the parents, achieving
Negative = covert reward for acting out
109
When is child free to develop closer ties to the parents?
When the parent accept their child's adult decisions.
110
How is women's power affected by adolescent kids?
Increases as the family's children mature
111
Transition to midlife occurs when:
1. Narrative shifts to include awareness of mortality
2. Understanding that one is in the middle of life, not the beginning
3. Forgiving self for sins of omission and commission
112
Therapeutic issues with midlife families:
1. Dealing with couples whose **dysfunctional patterns** have been in operation for 20 years or more
2. How to help discouraged midlfe people find **meaning** in their lives
3. How to help comple **step-family** systems
113
Characteristics of ambivalently attached adolescents and their parents:
Anxious, ruminative, needy
Parents = emotional and inconsistent
114
Characteristics of avoidantly attached adolescents and their parents:
Present themselves as invulnerable, demonstrate least autonomy
Parents = unavailable physically and emotionally
115
First issue to address with ambivalent parents =
Control
Owning what can and cannot control for adolescent.
Equate nonangry stance with "in control".
116
Goal with avoidantly attached parents and adolescents =
Build connection between the adolescent and each parent
117
Goal with ambivalently attached families =
Teach appropriate boundaries, emphasizing the difference between connection and support and intrusiveness.
118
Behavior/Relationship Patterns in Avoidantly Attached Adolescents
1. Counterdependent = avoid letting anyone close
2. The bully or the codependent
119
Behavior/Relationship Patterns in Ambivalently Attached Adolescents:
1. Overt in their need for attention
2. Will do whatever it takes to be the center of attention
120
Self-control comes out of \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_
Self-knowledge
121
Tools for Adolescents:
1. Take care of your body
2. Self-soothe (accept bad feelings as info, count to 10)
3. Use work to build self-esteem
122
Common goals with families with adolescents:
1. Behavioral contracting
2. Communication
3. Connection
4. Interactional Sequences
123
Cultural Change for Adolescents
1. Death of hierarchy (what can you do to me?)
2. Materialism
3. Narcissism
4. Technology, info expansion, mutitasking
124
Technology types and adolescents
_TV_ = agreement with Tv's worldview of sex, violence, substance use
_Computers_ = the source of information, globalization
_Cell phones_ = instant, constant contact, difficult to escape peers
125
Adolescent Physical Changes
Brain = greater impulsivity, mood swings, deficits in executive functioning
Circadian rhythm shift to later sleep onset
Puberty
126
Puberty in girls associated with:
1. Lower self-esteem
2. Poor academic performance
3. Acting out
4. Earlier and riskier sexual experimentation
5. Depression & anxiety
6. Association with older, more deviant peers
127
Puberty in boys associated with:
1. Higher self-esteem and social status
2. Increased hostility
128
Puberty in both genders associated with:
1. Increased substance use
2. Conflict with parents
129
Cognitive Changes in Adolescents:
1. Increased processing speed and conceptual learning
2. Meta-cognition, self-consciousness
3. Imaginary audience
4. Personal fable = grandiose, story about self
\*parents don't need to force reality into personal fable\*
5. Development of Formal Operations
130
Formal Operations in Adolescence
Abstract, deductive reasoning
Practice through arguing with parents/peers
Black and white thinking
Less likely to anticipate consequences
131
Adolescent's local interpretation =
Recognizing only pieces of data that fit their theory
May ignore other evidence
Relativist (all knowledge claims are opinions) vs. Evaluativist (not all opinions are equally valid)
132
Adolescent stages of development of identity:
1. Achievement
2. In-Process
3. Foreclosure (identity handed, ex. everyone in family in medicine so you will be, too)
133
Adolescents and False Self
Different levels of **self-esteem** in different relationships.
In combination with introspection, may cause intrapsychic **distress** and concerns about **authenticity**.
**Delinquents** have higher discrepency between ideal and actual selves.
134
Self-Absorbed Internal Process of Adolescents:
1. Strategic Interactions - designed to protect self, tech
2. Personal Fable
3. Personal Agency - ability to effect change
4. Novelty seeking and risk taking lead to growth (and recklessness)
135
Adolescent Moral Development
"Let's make a deal"
Strong sense of justice, fakery, hypocrisy.
May side with **parent** they perceive as underdog.
May act out in family to force **denied** issues.
136
Adolescent Differentiation
Developing cognitive, emotional, and behavioral **autonomy** and the ability to **self-regulate.**
**Dyadic** - parents gradually reduce their vigilance
Transfer dependence/connection to **peers**.
137
Adolescent racial/ethnic identity impacted by:
1. Degree of **synchronicity** with dominant culture (ex. high achieving minorities considered by peers as "white")
2. Exposure to **negative** stereotypes (resolving one's group with other groups that impinge)
3. Exposure to **positive** ethnic identity (parents)
138
SES/Social class impacts on adoloescent:
1. Open opportunities
2. Expecttions of success & education level
3. Sense of entitlement
4. Internalizing problems and substance abuse (U)
139
Adolescent gender role attitudes more closely related to
beliefs about academic competencies, involvement in domains, and career choices
THAN
actual test scores or grades
\*Parents as role models\*
140
Fathers with sons more likely to
1. spend more time parenting
2. be closer emotionally
3. less likely to divorce
141
Girls and sexualization/objectification
Expected to focus on pleaseing bf at expense of self
Linked to higher social status, bullying
More internalizing problems
142
Adolescent Boy Constraints
1. Inequity in academic performance, "not cool"
2. Increased focus on body image, linked with more TV
3. Expected to be sexually aggressive, less relational
4. Less egalitarian attitudes
5. Depression often hidden or disguised as anger/acting out
6. Less tolerance of cross-gender behavior
143
Peer shifts during adolescence:
Small same sex --\> large, mixed gender with shared identities/activites
Peer influence diminishes in later adolescence
144
Peer focus based on gender:
Both: authenticity, intimacy, self-disclosure
Girls: nurturance, empathy
Boys: agency power, competition, excitement
145
What rules govern peer interaction?
1. Reciprocity
2. Social exchange
146
Peer Issues in Adolescence
1. Status and Popularity
2. Good social skills = better adjusted vs. victimization/rejection
3. Co-rumination = talking excessively with same-sex close friend about problems associated with increased internalizing
147
Socio-metric popularity
well-liked, tends to be stable
148
Perceived popularity
high status & power, less stable
Aggression may enhance status but subtract from likeability
149
Parenting benefits for adolescents:
1. firm rules + supervision = less problem behavior
2. secure attachment basis for autonomy and positive development in all spheres
3. bond enables adolescent to transcend difficulties of this life stage
150
Over-controlling parents of adolescents:
_Encourage:_
1. lack of responsibility
2. external locus of control
3. Defiance/conflict
_Discourage:_
1. identity development
2. empathy
3. pro-social behavior
151
Adultification
Assumption of adult-like "hyper" responsibility and precocious knowledge.
Agency and empowerment misinterpreted as aggression or disrespect.
152
Consequences of Permissive Parenting of Adolescents:
1. Lack of self-regulation, responsibility, greater impulsivity
2. Socially isolated with restricted ability to comm. emo.
3. Adultification
153
Balancing Individuation & Connection with Adolescents = Goal
1. Establish boundary between judicial and personal issues
2. Shared affection, acceptance provides security
3. Look for windows of opporunity, rituals, **dyadic**
154
Adolescents disclose to parents because
they feel obligated by connection
155
Guidelines of Negotiating Conflict with Adolescents
1. Be aware of self-fulfilling expectations
2. Establish clear, consistent expectations (brief and concise)
3. Mindful of what you can control (only consequences)
4. Consequences that fit the crime, consistent follow through
5. Emotional calmness
6. Listen
7. Flexibility (let adolescent "win" when they have valid point)
156
Parental Role Modeling for Adolescents
1. Take responsibility for own mental health
2. Model healthy couple relationship
3. Pro-social behavior and volunteering (social and moral development)
4. Be aware of impact of midlife issues (may cause preoccupation with self)
157
Discussing Sex and Drugs
1. On-going and early interest, get to know friends
2. Listen rather than lecture --\> conducive to social and moral reasoning
3. Distinguish sexual feelings from actions
4. Use media as avenue for discussion
5. Self-disclosure
