Milk And Icecream

Question 1

Front

Answer 1

Back

Question 2

Hello. Is everyone enjoying the show?

Answer 2

How many people here are from Calgary? I’m pretty much from here. I moved here in the 90s.

Question 3

How many people here are from Calgary? I’m pretty much from here. I moved here in the 90s.

Answer 3

Before Calgary I lived in Petawawa Ontario when I was a teenager.

Question 4

Before Calgary I lived in Petawawa Ontario when I was a teenager.

Answer 4

During the summer’s my friends and I would smoke a shit ton of hash, get the munchies and head to the Petawawa pizzeria.

Question 5

During the summer’s my friends and I would smoke a shit ton of hash, get the munchies and head to the Petawawa pizzeria.

Answer 5

It was owned by a local Greek family. I’d always get their famous Ditto Burger.

Question 6

It was owned by a local Greek family. I’d always get their famous Ditto Burger.

Answer 6

It was basically a double cheeseburger, with lettuce, tomato, onion and Jimmys special sauce?

Question 7

It was basically a double cheeseburger, with lettuce, tomato, onion and Jimmys special sauce?

Answer 7

I’d always joke with my buddies ‘is Jimmy’s special sauce Jimmy’s cum?’

Question 8

I’d always joke with my buddies ‘is Jimmy’s special sauce Jimmy’s cum?’

Answer 8

I’d eat it anyways and the sick part is, while mowing it down I’d have this demented daydream picturing this big hairy Greek guy in just an apron everything covered except his big hairy back making these burgers right in front of us, jerking a fresh shot of creamy goodness on each burger, right before serving it to us with a smile.

Question 9

I’d eat it anyways and the sick part is, while mowing it down I’d have this demented daydream picturing this big hairy Greek guy in just an apron everything covered except his big hairy back making these burgers right in front of us, jerking a fresh shot of creamy goodness on each burger, right before serving it to us with a smile.

Answer 9

I’d still enjoy it?

Question 10

I’d still enjoy it?

Answer 10

Ever since I’ve had this cum sauce paranoia obsession with flashbacks of jimmy the greek, while eating anything white and creamy.

Question 11

Ever since I’ve had this cum sauce paranoia obsession with flashbacks of jimmy the greek, while eating anything white and creamy.

Answer 11

Has anyone heard of Made by Marcus? It’s an overpriced local ice cream shop, it’s $12 a fucking scoop what the fuck is this shit made out of, fucking gold.

Question 12

Has anyone heard of Made by Marcus? It’s an overpriced local ice cream shop, it’s $12 a fucking scoop what the fuck is this shit made out of, fucking gold.

Answer 12

He has flavors like, Elderflower Cumquat Bliss and Sea Change Prairie Fairy Sorbet. WTF?

Question 13

He has flavors like, Elderflower Cumquat Bliss and Sea Change Prairie Fairy Sorbet. WTF?

Answer 13

The point I’m trying to make is that it sounds like something a street vendor at a pride festival would serve.

Question 14

The point I’m trying to make is that it sounds like something a street vendor at a pride festival would serve.

Answer 14

Just imagine a Flamboyant gay guy running an icecream truck at a pride parade with a megaphone. Making his own music (pop goes the weasel toon) ‘dede Dede de de Dede Dede Dede de Dede Dede dede de come get your extra creamy ice cream treats right here y’all.’

Question 15

Just imagine a Flamboyant gay guy running an icecream truck at a pride parade with a megaphone. Making his own music (pop goes the weasel toon) ‘dede Dede de de Dede Dede Dede de Dede Dede dede de come get your extra creamy ice cream treats right here y’all.’

Answer 15

But here’s the bottom line. What I want to know is, Is made by Marcus actually made by Marcus if you know what I mean? is Marcus putting the actual cream in icecream? It’s a deceptive brand name.

Question 16

But here’s the bottom line. What I want to know is, Is made by Marcus actually made by Marcus if you know what I mean? is Marcus putting the actual cream in icecream? It’s a deceptive brand name.

Answer 16

I mean I don’t believe he’s using real farm-to-table milk.

Question 17

I mean I don’t believe he’s using real farm-to-table milk.

Answer 17

When I say ‘Made by Marcus,’ I’m not picturing him sitting on a stool, molesting some cow udders taking the occasional sip, straight from the teat, tongue out, purposely spraying his face like a sloppy facial while eye raping the cow like he’s taking a load in the face like a money shot at a barnyard porno scene.

Question 18

When I say ‘Made by Marcus,’ I’m not picturing him sitting on a stool, molesting some cow udders taking the occasional sip, straight from the teat, tongue out, purposely spraying his face like a sloppy facial while eye raping the cow like he’s taking a load in the face like a money shot at a barnyard porno scene.

Answer 18

This sick fuck staggers out of the barn all sweaty, milk dripping off his chin, bucket in hand and the farmhands would be like, ‘wtf Marcus, looks like you were you on the wrong side of a glory hole!’

Question 19

This sick fuck staggers out of the barn all sweaty, milk dripping off his chin, bucket in hand and the farmhands would be like, ‘wtf Marcus, looks like you were you on the wrong side of a glory hole!’

Answer 19

If I were there I’d probably quote Woody Harrelson’s line from Kingpin: ‘Marcus you know we don’t have a cow, but we got a bull’ just to fuck with him.

Question 20

If I were there I’d probably quote Woody Harrelson’s line from Kingpin: ‘Marcus you know we don’t have a cow, but we got a bull’ just to fuck with him.

Answer 20

It reminds me of the time I dragged my kids to Butterfield Acres petting farm. First stop: the goats.

Question 21

It reminds me of the time I dragged my kids to Butterfield Acres petting farm. First stop: the goats.

Answer 21

These little bastards swarm you like Tijuana street kids at a Mexican flea market trying to sell you shit you don’t want (Mexican accent) ‘hey meester want to fuck my seester’ ‘um No, gracias Pablo, Estoy bien! How about a sombrero instead’

Question 22

These little bastards swarm you like Tijuana street kids at a Mexican flea market trying to sell you shit you don’t want (Mexican accent) ‘hey meester want to fuck my seester’ ‘um No, gracias Pablo, Estoy bien! How about a sombrero instead’

Answer 22

next the donkey exhibit, total Eeyore vibes, mixed with Little Orphan Annie we pet him for a bit then this fucker started crying when we left him, he’s like, (Eeyore’s voice) ‘i lost my tail again and another family abandoned me.’

Question 23

Then the donkey exhibit, total Eeyore vibes, mixed with Little Orphan Annie the we pet him for a bit then this fucker started crying when we left him, he’s like, (Eeyore’s voice) ‘i lost my tail again and another family abandoned me.’

Answer 23

He actually tried to fucking sadfish my fucking family!

Question 24

He actually tried to fucking sadfish my fucking family!

Answer 24

The goat milking station was the real shitshow. We role in at 11:30. Sign says goat Milking starts at 2. I said shit sorry girls maybe next time.

Question 25

The goat milking station was the real shitshow. We role in at 11:30. Sign says goat Milking starts at 2. I said shit sorry girls maybe next time.

Answer 25

My kids start fucking begging me to grope these Mexican street hustlers goats teets, so I look around kick the door in and rush my kids in, like seal team Six. Clear Go, Go, Go!

Question 26

My kids start fucking begging me to grope these Mexican street hustlers goats teets, so I look around kick the door in and rush my kids in, like seal team Six. Go, Go, Go clear!

Answer 26

I instruct them to set up stools, buckets, crack open the feed holes and let the goats in. These three hairy fuckers bust in like they’re starving illegals at a Joe Biden border buffet.

Question 27

I instruct them to set up stools, buckets, crack open the feed holes and let the goats in. These three hairy fuckers bust in like they’re starving illegals at a Joe Biden border buffet.

Answer 27

Haleigh in the middle. Jessica and I flanking her on both sides. As we’re milking away, I lock eyes and wink at Jess, and we unload goat titty juice all over Haleigh's face, she looked like she had just finished an episode of The Tom Green Show.

Question 28

Haleigh in the middle. Jessica and I flanking her on both sides. As we’re milking away, I lock eyes and wink at Jess, and we unload goat titty juice all over Haleigh's face, she looked like she had just finished an episode of The Tom Green Show. If you're old enough to remember that.

Answer 28

Then some pimply farmhand barges in, 'what the fu, whats going on in here? Milking’s at 2! Who set this all this up?’ I’m like, ‘We found it like this good sir.'

Question 29

Then some pimply farmhand barges in, 'what the fu, whats going on in here? Milking’s at 2! Who set this all this up?’ I’m like, ‘We found it like this good sir.'

Answer 29

Jessica, that little backstabbing, rat narc, pipes up, ‘No, Dad, we set it up remember?' So needless to say we got Kicked out of there faster than you can say barnyard bukkake party!

Question 30

Jessica, that little backstabbing, rat narc, pipes up, ‘No, Dad, we set it up remember?' So we got Kicked out of there faster than you can say barnyard bukkake party!

Answer 30

Does everybody in here know what bukake is? Ok how many of you know what the real history of bukaki is? Ok for those who don't I'll give you a brief a history because it's fucked up to say the least!

Question 31

Does everybody in here know what bukake is? Ok how many of you know what the real history of bukaki is? Ok for those who don't I'll give you a brief a history because it's fucked up to say the least!

Answer 31

There's a couple conflicting stories: the first one is that it was an ancient Japanese ritual of fertility that took place after a wedding where all the men at the wedding would bust a nut in the bride's face for a guarantee of a long prosperous fruitful marriage.

Question 32

There's a couple conflicting stories: the first one is that it was an ancient Japanese ritual of fertility that took place after a wedding where all the men at the wedding would bust a nut in the bride's face for a guarantee of a long prosperous fruitful marriage.

Answer 32

What's wrong with throwing some rice? isn't that sufficient? Or is it just me?

Question 33

What's wrong with throwing some rice? isn't that sufficient? Or is it just me?

Answer 33

In the second scenario. Some documentation exists claiming that Bukkake was a punishment in Feudal Japan from the 12th to 19th century.

Question 34

In the second scenario. Some documentation exists claiming that Bukkake was a punishment in Feudal Japan from the 12th to 19th century.

Answer 34

A wife accused of adultery was punished by having a group of men vigorously ejaculating in her face.

Question 35

A wife accused of adultery was punished by having a group of men vigorously ejaculating in her face.

Answer 35

They say the husband and his friends would lead the wife out to remote place, push her down and all cum in her face if suspected of adultery.

Question 36

They say the husband and his friends would lead the wife out to remote place, push her down and all cum in her face if suspected of adultery.

Answer 36

What I want to know is, what if she liked it just sayin? Like she cheated on her husband maybe she's a bit of a slut.

Question 37

What I want to know is, what if she liked it just sayin? Like she cheated on her husband maybe she's a bit of a slut.

Answer 37

Or they'd tie her up in the town center and all the men in the town would blow their loads on her face.

Question 38

Or they'd tie her up in the town center and all the men in the town would blow their loads on her face.

Answer 38

It's said, a heavy amount of semen could sometimes lead to drowning the girl. That's a bit over the top isn't it?

Question 39

It's said, a heavy amount of semen could sometimes lead to drowning the girl. That's a bit over the top isn't it?

Answer 39

Did these guys go on a high oyster diet a week before the event? Jesus Japan what's up with that?

Question 40

Do these guys go on a high oyster diet a week before the event? Jesus Japan what's up with that?

Answer 40

I guess it's better than the punishment in the middle east where they use rocks.

Question 41

I guess it's better than the punishment in the middle east where they use rocks.

Answer 41

Speaking of Japan, I told my daughter I came up with a stupid joke that made me laugh. What’s a Japanese guy call the rag he cleans up with after, y’know, handling business?

Question 42

Speaking of Japan, I told my daughter I came up with a stupid joke that made me laugh. What’s a Japanese guy call the rag he cleans up with after, y’know, handling business?

Answer 42

She says what? Cumsaki!” She’s horrified, “Dad, how’d you even think of that?”

Question 43

She says what? Cumsaki!” She’s horrified, “Dad, how’d you even think of that?”

Answer 43

I lie, “I said I don't know it just popped into my head ” Truth is, I always clean my house talking like Mr Miagi.

Question 44

I lie, “I said I don't know it just popped into my head ” Truth is, I always clean my house talking like Mr Miagi.

Answer 44

Sweep the floor sweep left sweep right. Wash the walls up down You know what Im talking about, if you have seen the movie 'Daniel son , karate here, no here. (point at my heart then my dick.)'

Question 45

Sweep the floor sweep left sweep right. Wash the walls up down You know what Im talking about, if you have seen the movie 'Daniel son , karate here, no here. (point at my heart then my dick.)'

Answer 45

While cleaning my bedroom, I tripped over my cum sock that was stuck to the floor. I looked down at it and said oooo cumsaki (in Mr Miagi's voice).

Question 46

While cleaning my bedroom, I tripped over my cum sock that was stuck to the floor. I looked down at it and said oooo cumsaki (in Mr Miagi's voice).

Answer 46

As I’m chiseling this thing off the floor, I’m thinking, “If there’s ever a nuclear war, archeologists in a hundred years from now are gonna dig this thing up and if they rehydrate it, they could use it to rebuild humanity.

Question 47

As I’m chiseling this thing off the floor, I’m thinking, “If there’s ever a nuclear war, archeologists in a hundred years from now are gonna dig this thing up and if they rehydrate it, they could use it to rebuild humanity.

Answer 47

Picture it: a fertility clinic in the future, all men are sterile because of radiation poisoning, so couples go to the cumsaki experience clinic.

Question 48

Picture it: a fertility clinic in the future, all men are sterile because of radiation poisoning, so couples go to the cumsaki experience clinic.

Answer 48

A nurse leads them down a hall in to a room, instructs het to put a gown on. A doctor comes in holding my steamed cum sock and says Bend over, one quick swipe with the Cumsaki Special, and you’re set! I saved humanity!

Question 49

A nurse leads them to a room, and out comes a doctor holding my steamed cum sock Bend over, one quick swipe with the Cumsaki Special, and you’re set! I saved humanity!

Answer 49

Kind of like that doctor with all the kids on that Netflix series, Who Is the Man with 1,000 Kids? The true story of a serial sperm donor?

Question 50

Kind of like that doctor with all the kids on that Netflix series, Who Is the Man with 1,000 Kids? The true story of a serial sperm donor?

Answer 50

In the 1980s bukake became a porn film fad in Japan where they'd film a group of guys blasting yum yum sauce on girls faces.

Question 51

In the 1980s bukake became a porn film fad in Japan where they'd film a group of guys blasting yum yum sauce on girls faces.

Answer 51

It eventually moved into the gay porn scene in America which brings me Back to made by Marcus.

Question 52

It eventually moved into the gay porn scene in America which brings me Back to made by Marcus.

Answer 52

Now, when I say made by Marcus I mean it's made by Marcus and his cum brigade of gay friends circle-jerking into a churn like it’s a San Francisco bathhouse icecream factory.

Question 53

Now, when I say made by Marcus I mean it's made by Marcus and his cum brigade of gay friends circle-jerking into a churn like it’s a San Francisco bathhouse icecream factory.

Answer 53

That’s why it’s $12 a scoop do you know how long it takes to squirt out that, farm to table organic baby batter.

Question 54

That’s why it’s $12 a scoop do you know how long it takes to squirt out that, farm to table organic baby batter.

Answer 54

Do me a favor. On the way home tonight grab a big gulp cup from 711 and see how many weeks or months it would take to fill that puppy up. If you know what I mean. That's a lot of cum!

Question 55

Do me a favor. On the way home tonight grab a big gulp cup from 711 and see how many weeks or months it would take to fill that puppy up. If you know what I mean. That's a lot of cum!

Answer 55

How does he flavor this shit anyways? For Ace Coffee & Cocoa Nib. Do the boys slam back a bunch of espresso shots ‘Dark roast, dark load.’

Question 56

How does he flavor this shit anyways? For Ace Coffee & Cocoa Nib. Do the boys slam back a bunch of espresso shots ‘Dark roast, dark load.’

Answer 56

Chocolate Lava Cake? ewww reminds me of 2 girls one cup remember that video? More like 3 guys one icecream barrel.

Question 57

Chocolate Lava Cake? ewww reminds me of 2 girls one cup remember that video? More like 3 guys one icecream barrel.

Answer 57

I'd like to pitch Marcus some flavors I came up with like cumsaki crunch swirl or prairie praline doomsday drizzle what do you think? I like it!

Question 58

I'd like to pitch Marcus some flavors I came up with like cumsaki crunch swirl or prairie praline doomsday drizzle what do you think? I like it!

Answer 58

Does anybody find it weird that we're the only animal that drinks other animals milk?

Question 59

Does anybody find it weird that we're the only animal that drinks other animals milk?

Answer 59

A dream I had that I never fulfilled, was to produce my own brand of human nutrient filled breast milk called nipple nectar and open my own breast milk factory.

Question 60

A dream I had that I never fulfilled, was to produce my own brand of human nutrient filled breast milk called nipple nectar and open my own breast milk factory.

Answer 60

I've always pictured myself walking around in my lab coat, clipboard in hand going to do my daily inspections. Hey Brenda let's see what kind of yield you're putting out here, Karen, lay off the kombucha that's a little sour, dial it back a bit.

Question 61

I've always pictured myself walking around in my lab coat, clipboard in hand going to do my daily inspections. Hey Brenda let's see what kind of yield you're putting out here, Karen, lay off the kombucha that's a little sour, dial it back a bit.

Answer 61

That's a cow ate the cabbage some kind Anthony jeselnik bragging.reference Susan nice flow, solid output. Keep up the hard work girls. A little nipple grease goes a long way

Question 62

That's a cow ate the cabbage some kind Anthony jeselnik bragging.reference Susan nice flow, solid output. Keep up the hard work girls. A little nipple grease goes a long way

Answer 62

Now picture Marcus’s cum dumpster factory when a Elementary school has a field trip there. 'Welcome to Made by Marcus kids!'

Question 63

Now picture Marcus’s cum dumpster factory when a Elementary school has a field trip there. 'Welcome to Made by Marcus kids!'

Answer 63

it would be like that scene from The Wolf of Wall Street when Margot Robbie walks in on their Butler having a gay orgy.

Question 64

it would be like that scene from The Wolf of Wall Street when Margot Robbie walks in on their Butler having a gay orgy.

Answer 64

Timmy's like 'Mrs Smith why are all the flavors so salty?'

Question 65

Timmy's like 'Mrs Smith why are all the flavors so salty?'

Answer 65

So my daughters beg me to take them to made by Marcus. So I give in.

Question 66

So my daughters beg me to take them to made by Marcus. So I give in.

Answer 66

While standing in line staring at the menu like it’s a cum contract with Satan I’m about to sign.

Question 67

While standing in line staring at the menu like it’s a cum contract with Satan I’m about to sign.

Answer 67

My brains spinning through a vile cycle of questions like a washing machine sloshing with dirty Marcus and the boys sudsy sperm.

Question 68

My brains spinning through a vile cycle of questions like a washing machine sloshing with dirty Marcus and the boys sudsy sperm.

Answer 68

Just a thick frothy cycle of thoughts churning through my head. Like, Why am I here? Do I really hate myself this much?

Question 69

Just a thick frothy cycle of thoughts churning through my head. Like, Why am I here? Do I really hate myself this much?

Answer 69

Am i trying to cum drown myself like an unfaithful geisha girl? I finally pick a flavor even though I know all I will taste is salty regret.

Question 70

Am i trying to cum drown myself like an unfaithful geisha girl? I finally pick a flavor even though I know all I will taste is salty regret.

Answer 70

Just then these two progressive gay guys in front of me grab their order and walk away.

Question 71

Just then these two progressive gay guys in front of me grab their order and walk away.

Answer 71

One says 'how do they get thith ithecream tho creamy(gay lisping), Yum!' (Wiping cream off the corner of his mouth and sucking his finger while staring into my eyes)

Question 72

One says 'how do they get thith ithecream tho creamy(gay lisping), Yum!' (Wiping cream off the corner of his mouth and sucking his finger while staring into my eyes)

Answer 72

just then the cashier says can I help you sir? I look over and it's fucking jimmy the greek from the Petawawa Pizzeria.

Question 73

just then the cashier says can I help you sir? I look over and it's fucking jimmy the greek from the Petawawa Pizzeria.

Answer 73

Has this fuck been mentoring Marcus or doing a spin off of Gordon Ramsey's show Kitchen Nightmares because it truly is my wet nightmare I'm taking a hard pass.

Question 74

Has this fuck been mentoring Marcus or doing a spin off of Gordon Ramsey's show Kitchen Nightmares because it truly is my wet nightmare I'm taking a hard pass.

Answer 74

Good night everybody!