Self Compassion General

Question 1

Why is it so hard to admit when we step out of line, are rude, or act impatient?

Answer 1

Because our ego feels so much better when we project our flaws and shortcomings on to someone else. It requires self esteem to admit fault. And it helps if we are kind to ourselves because we have higher self esteem and we know we won’t berate ourselves if we screw up.

Question 2

We usually treat ___________ worst of all

Answer 2

Ourselves

Question 3

How can being judgemental to yourself make you less honest?

Answer 3

Because it’s hard to admit fault if you know you’re going to treat yourself like shit. So you might bend your perception of reality to avoid self punishment. If you’re kind to yourself after a mistake, you don’t need to fear mistakes nearly as much. So you’re less likely to contort reality to avoid punishment.

Question 4

Why do people think self criticism is a good thing?

Answer 4

Because they think it keeps them accountable or makes them work harder.

Question 5

Why doesn’t self-criticism make your life better?

Answer 5

Because you’re disrespecting your spirit. If two parents constantly berate their kids, how likely are they to grow up happy and with a sense of self-worth?

Question 6

How does self compassion improve your romantic relationship?

Answer 6

Because you’re filling up your love tank and therefore have more love to give. The more love you give yourself, the more love you have to give to others. People want to be around loving people.

Question 7

What does compassion feel like?

Answer 7

Love, care, support, understanding. We give those to ourselves when we are compassionate to others and to ourself.

Question 8

What are 4 components of compassion?

Answer 8

It is the clear seeing of suffering.
It’s the feelings of kindness for people who are suffering.
It is the desire to end suffering for someone.
It is recognizing our shared human condition.

Question 9

What’s the first step in self-compassion?

Answer 9

Recognizing our pain. Allow the pain. Accept the pain.

If we can’t see it, we can’t move past it.

Question 10

What is worthy of self-compassion?

Answer 10

Any kind of pain, big or small. From small embarrassments to severe trauma.

Question 11

How does self-compassion make you more likely to go after your dreams?

Answer 11

Because the world is a lot safer when you know you’re not going to beat yourself up if you fail. When you have your own back.

Question 12

What kind of emotions are provoked with self-punishment?

Answer 12

Shame and guilt. Emotions that don’t lead to generative drive.

Question 13

How does self-compassion lead to gratitude?

Answer 13

It fosters positive mind-states like happiness and optimism, even in hard times.

Question 14

You can always have your own back

Answer 14

Self compassion will be a safe haven in the dark times

Question 15

How is self judgement a form of abandonment?

Answer 15

Our spirit, our inner child, needs encouragement. To berate him is to blame him and deny our ego’s culpability, leaving our spirit alone to take the blame and abuse.

He needs us to stand with him, not against him.

Question 16

The mind healing the heart is kind of like the _________ nurturing the _________.

Answer 16

Ego nurturing the spirit. (or inner child)

Question 17

One moment we inflate our sense of self worth by skewing how we see things in positive favours. At the same time, we mercilessly criticize ourselves when we fall short of our ideals. These ego cycles are _________ and ___________.

Answer 17

Natural and universal. We come by our dysfunctions honestly—they are part of our human inheritance.

Question 18

Z

Answer 18

We look at the flaws of others in order to make ourselves feel better.

Question 19

Why does judging others harm us?

Answer 19

It is hateful energy. And we’re the recipient of that hateful energy.

If we see with love, we can feel the love.

We get to choose our internal environment.

Question 20

Critical parents tend to play the role of both good and bad cop with their kids in the hope that they will be able to mold their children into who they want them to be, which makes kids grow up to believe…

Answer 20

Their worth is determined by the “right” actions they take, rather than knowing they are inherently worthy of being seen, heard, and loved.

Question 21

Why do we self shame?

Answer 21

To try and mold our behaviour. If I judge myself for being fat, maybe I won’t eat so much.
Or to normalize the feeling, so when others shame us, it doesn’t feel so bad.

Question 22

Self criticism is strongly associated with _____________ and _______________ with life.

Answer 22

Depression and dissatisfaction.

Question 23

The greatest act of self hatred is what…

Answer 23

Rejecting your current experience.

Question 24

What does a child (and adult) in emotional pain need?

Answer 24

Physical embrace, empathy, to know their feelings are okay, that their parent is with them no matter what (not abandonment)

Question 25

We must feel all the feelings _________.

Answer 25

Fully

Question 26

If children are _____________ _____________ to their parents, they grow up feeling worthy of love.

Answer 26

Securely attached

Question 27

If children are not securely attached to their caregiver, they tend to feel _________ and ___________ and have difficulty _____________ people. It causes lifelong emotional distress and prevents forming healthy relationship.

Answer 27

Unworthy and unlovable; trusing

Question 28

We can become more securely attached by consistently…

Answer 28

Showing up for ourselves

Question 29

What is an example of a self compassion mantra?

Answer 29

I love and accept myself exactly as I am.

Question 30

When we experience warm and tender feelings toward ourselves, we are altering our bodies as well as our minds. Rather than feeling worried and anxious, we feel….

Answer 30

Calm, content, trusting, and secure

Question 31

With self-compassion, suffering becomes an ______________ to ____________ ____________ for ______________.

Answer 31

Opportunity to show up for ourselves

Question 32

Self-compassion requires we understand that human beings are _________ and __________, just like you.

Answer 32

Fallible and imperfect

Question 33

What’s the difference between self compassion and self pity?

Answer 33

Self pity is the ego reciting our story of victimization over and over. Self compassion is the ego being an empathetic witness to the spirit. Talking to the spirit like they would a young child.

Question 34

Feeling unworthy goes hand in hand with feeling separate from others, separate from life. If we are defective, how can we possibly _________?

Answer 34

Belong

Question 35

If we don’t belong, we feel ___________, and ____________ is one of the biggest predictors of mental health issues.

Answer 35

alone; loneliness

Question 36

We can’t _____________ what we can’t _________.

Answer 36

Heal; feal

Question 37

Any moment of _____________ is an OPPORTUNITY for self-compassion, no matter how small.

Answer 37

Pain

Question 38

Negative self talk leads to shame and shame prevents us from connecting to our own needs because…

Answer 38

Shame can lead to lower self-esteem, perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and poor self-worth.
These states make us more likely to isolate socially and avoid social interaction, which can drastically inhibit our ability to meet so many needs.
If people feel unworthy, they are less confident to seek help.
They might wear a mask socially and therefore their connections may lack authenticity.
Shame creates stress and stress leads to chronic physical conditions
Shame makes us scared to communicate our needs and desires out of fear of being judged
Shame can trigger defense mechanisms like denial, projection, and aggression, making relationships more strained
Shame can cause us to feel unworthy of self-care, including fitness, health, and therapeutic activities