Sweeney Todd: Ms. Lovett Flashcards
1
Q
Start of “WORST PIES IN LONDON”
A
A customer!
2
Q
“TIMES IS HARD. TIMES IS HARD”
A
Spit it out, dear. Go on. On the floor. There’s worse things than that down there. That’s my boy.
3
Q
TODD: Isn’t that a room up there over the shop? If times are so hard, why don’t you rent it out? That should bring in something.
A
Up there? Oh, no one will go near it. People think it’s haunted.. You see–years ago, something happened up there. Something not very nice.
4
Q
“AH, BUT THERE WAS WORSE YET TO COME–POOR THING”
A
Johanna, that was the baby’s name… Pretty little Johanna…
5
Q
TODD: Go on.
A
My, you do like a good story, don’t you?
6
Q
TODD: Would no one have mercy on her?
A
So it is you–Benjamin Barker.
7
Q
TODD: Not Barker! Not Barker! Todd now! Sweeney Todd! Where is she?
A
So changed! Good god, what did they do to you down in bloody Australia or wherever?
8
Q
TODD: Where is my wife? Where’s Lucy?
A
She poisoned herself. Arsenic from the apothecary on the corner. I tried to stop her but she wouldn’t listen to me.
9
Q
TODD: And my daughter?
A
Johanna? He’s got her.
10
Q
TODD: He? Judge Turpin?
A
Even he had a conscience tucked away, I suppose. Adopted her like his own. You could say it was good luck for her almost.
11
Q
TODD: Fifteen years sweating in a living hell on a trumped up charge. Fifteen years dreaming that, perhaps, I might come home to a loving wife and child. Let them quake in their boots–Judge Turpin and the Beadle for their hour has come.
A
You’re going to–get ‘em? You? A bleeding little nobody of a runaway convict? Don’t make me laugh. You’ll never get His ‘Igh and Mightiness! Nor the Beadle neither. Not in a million years. You got any money? Listen to me! You got any money?
12
Q
TODD: No money.
A
Then how are you going to live even?
13
Q
TODD: I’ll live. If I have to sweat in the sewers or in the plague hospital, I’ll live–and I’ll have.
A
Oh you poor thing! You poor thing! Wait! See! It don’t have to be the sewers or the plague hospital. When they come for the little girl, I hid ‘em. I thought, who knows? Maybe the poor silly blighter’ll be back again someday and need ‘em. Cracked in the head, wasn’t I? Times as bad as they are, I could have got five, maybe ten quid for ‘em, any day. See? You can be a barber again.
14
Q
Start of MY FRIENDS
A
My, them handles is chased silver, ain’t they?
15
Q
TODD: That’s him? Over there?
A
Yes dear. He’s always here Thursdays.
16
Q
TODD: Haircutter, barber, toothpuller to His Royal Majesty the King of Naples.
A
Eyetalian. All the rage, he is.
17
Q
TODD: Not for long.
A
Oh Mr. T, you really think you can do it?
18
Q
TODD: By tomorrow they’ll all be flocking after me like sheep to a storm.
A
Oh no! Look. The Beadle–Beadle Bamford.
19
Q
TODD: So much better.
A
But what if he recognizes you? Hadn’t we better–?
20
Q
TODD: I will do what I have set out to do, woman.
A
Oops. Sorry dear, I’m sure.
21
Q
TODD: I do. I am Sweeney Todd and I have opened a bottle of Pirelli’s Elixir, and I have to say to you it is nothing but an arrant fraud, concocted from piss and ink.
A
He’s right. Phew! Better to throw your money down the sewer.
22
Q
TODD: And furthermore I have serviced no kings, yet I wager that I can shave a cheek with ten times more dexterity than any street mounteback! You see these razors?
A
The finest in England.
23
Q
TODD: I lay them against five pounds you are no match for me. You hear me, sir. Either accept my challenge or reveal yourself a sham.
A
Bravo, bravo.
24
Q
BEADLE: THE WINNER IS TODD.
A
Smooth as a baby’s bottom!
25
PIRELLI: Here, sir. And may the good Lord smile on you--until we meet again. Come, boy. Signori! Bellissime signorine! Buon giorno a tutti!
Who'd have thought it dear! You pulled it off!
26
MAN WITH CAP: Oh, sir, Mr. Todd, sir, do you have an establishment of your own?
He certainly does. Sweeney Todd's Tonsorial Parlor--above my meat pieshop on Fleet Street.
27
BEADLE: Mr. Todd.. Strange, sir, but it seems your face is known to me.
Him? That's a laugh--him being my uncle's cousin and arrived from Birmingham yesterday.
28
BEADLE: Well, sir, I try my best for my neighbors. Fleet Street? Over your pieshop, ma'am?
That's it, sir.
29
BEGGAR WOMEN: ALMS... ALMS... FOR A MISERABLE...
Alms... Alms... How many times have I told you? I'll not have trash from the gutter hanging around my establishment!
30
BEGGAR WOMEN: Not just a penny dear? Or a pie? One of them pies that gives stomach cramps to half the neighborhood? Come on, dear. Have a heart, dear.
Off. Off with you or you'll get a kick on the rump that'll make your teeth chatter!
31
BEGGAR WOMEN: Stuck up thing! You and your fancy airs! ALMS... ALMS... FOR A DESPERATE WOMEN...
It's not much of a chair, but it'll do till you get your fancy new one. It was me poor Albert's chair, it was. Sat in it all day long he did, after his leg give out from the dropsy. Kinda bare, isn't it? I never did like a bare room. Oh, well, we'll find some nice little knickknacks.
32
TODD: Why doesn't the Beadle come? "Before the week is out," that's what he said.
And who says the week's out yet? It's only Tuesday.
33
TODD: And the Judge? When will I get him?
Can't you think of nothing else? Always broodin' away on yer wrongs what happened heaven knows how many years ago--
34
TODD: Yes.
Gillyflowers, I'd say. Nothing like a nice bowl of gillies.
35
ANTHONY: I congratulate you. And... er..
Mrs. Lovett, sir.
36
ANTHONY: A pleasure, ma'am. Oh, Mr. Todd...The surest sign that Johanna loves me.
Johanna?
37
ANTHONY: That's her name...if I could lodge her here just for an hour or two!
Bring her, dear.
38
ANTHONY: I shall be grateful for this to the grave. Now I must hurry for surely the Judge is off to the Old Bailey. My thanks! A thousand blessings on you both!
Johanna! Who'd have thought it! It's like Fate, isn't it? You'll have her back before the day is out.
39
TODD: For a few hours! Before he carries her off to the other end of England.
Oh, that sailor! Let him bring her here and then, since you're so hot for a little... that's the throat to slit, dear. Oh Mr. T. we'll make a lovely home for her. You and me. The poor thing. All those years and not a scrap of motherly affection. I'll soon change that, I will, for if ever there was a maternal heart, it's mine.
40
PIRELLI: Good morning, Mr. Todd--and to you, Bellissima Signoria.
Well, 'ow do you do, Signor, I'm sure.
41
PIRELLI: A little business with Mr. Todd, Signora. Perhaps if you will give the permission?
Oh yes, indeed, I'll just pop on down to my pies. Oh lawks, look at it now! Don't look like it's had a kind word since half past never! What would you say, son, to a nice juicy meat pie, eh? Your teeth is strong, I hope?
42
TOBIAS: Oh yes, ma'am.
Then come with me, love.
43
TODD: Why?
That's my boy. Tuck in.
44
TODD: Why do you call me that?
At least you've got a nice full head of hair on you.
45
TOBIAS: Oh gawd, he's got an appointment with his tailor. If he's late and it's my fault--you don't know him!
I wouldn't want to, I'm sure, dear.
46
TOBIAS: Oo, sir! Gin, sir! Thanking you, sir, thanking you kindly. Gin! You're a Christian indeed, sir! Oh ma'am, the gentleman says to give me a nice tot of gin, ma'am.
Gin, dear? Why not!
47
End of KISS ME.
Maybe you should run along, dear.
48
TOBIAS: Oh no, ma'am, I daren't budge till he calls for me.
I'll pop up and see what Mr. Todd says. Ah me, me poor knees is not what they was, dear. How long before the Eyetalian gets back?
49
TODD: He won't be back.
Now, Mr.T, you didn't! You're crazy mad! Killing a man wot done you no harm? And the boy downstairs?
50
TODD: He recognized me from the old days. He tried to blackmail me, half my earnings forever.
Oh well, that's a different matter! What a relief, dear! For a moment I thought you'd lost your marbles. Ooh! All that blood! Enough to make you come all over gooseflesh, ain't it. Poor bugger. Oh, well! Three quid! Well, waste not, want not, as I always say. Now, dear, we got to use the old noggin.
51
BEADLE: Thank you, sir. Thank you.
Well, first there's the lad.
52
TODD: Send him up here.
Him, too! Now surely one's enough for today, dear. Shouldn't indulge yourself, you know. Now let me see, he's half seas over already with the gin...
53
TODD: Providence is kind!
Who is it?
54
TODD: Judge Turpin.
Him, him? The Judge? It can't be! it--
55
TODD: Quick, leave me!
What are you going to do?
56
TODD: Leave me, I said!
Don't worry dear, I'm--out! Excuse me, you Lordship.
57
TODD: At your service, sir. An honor to receive your patronage, sir.
Now, dear, seems like your guvnor has gone and left you high and dry. But don't worry. Your aunt Nellie will think of what to do with you. Come on into my lovely back parlor.
58
TODD: Out. Out, I say!
All this running and shouting. What is it now, dear?
59
TODD: I had him--and then--
The sailor busted in. I saw them both running down the street and I said to myself: "The fat's in the fire, for sure!"
60
TODD: I HAD HIM! HIS THROAT WAS BARE BENEATH MY HAND!--!
There, there, dear. Don't fret.
61
End of EPIPHANY.
That's all very well, but all that matters now is him. Listen! Do you hear me? Can you hear me? Get control of yourself? What are we going to do about him? And there's the lad downstairs. We'd better go and have a look and be sure he's still there. When I left him he was sound asleep in the parlor. Come on! No problem there. He's still sleeping. He's simple as a baby lamb. Later I can fob him off with some story easy. But him! What are we going to do with him?
62
TODD: Later on, when it's dark, we'll take him to some secret place and bury him.
Well, of course, we could do that. I don't suppose there's any relatives going to come poking around looking for him.
You know me. Sometimes ideas just pop into me head and I keep thinking...
63
TODD: These are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called for.
Here we are, hot from the oven.
64
TODD: Heavenly.
Not as hearty as bishop, perhaps, but not as bland a curate, either.
And good for business--always leaves you wanting more. Trouble is, we only get it in on Sundays...
65
BOTH: --THAT THOSE, ABOVE WILL SERVE THOSE DOWN BELOW!
Now. let's see...
We've got tinker...
66
TODD: Something pinker.
Tailor?
67
TODD Something paler.
Potter?
68
TODD: Something hotter.
Butler?
69
TODD: Something subtler.
Locksmith?
70
MRS. LOVETT: ... BEEN GREASED
STICK TO PRIEST
Now this may be a bit stringy, but then, of course, it's fiddler player.
71
TODD: This isn't fiddle player. It's piccolo player.
How can you tell?
72
TODD: It's piping hot.
Then blow on it first.
73
MRS. LOVETT + TODD: EVERYBODY GOES DOWN WELL WITH BEER.
Since marine doesn't appeal to you, how about rear admiral?
74
TODD: Too salty. I prefer general.
With or without his privates? "With" is extra.
75
TODD: I'LL COME AGAIN WHEN YOU HAVE JUDGE ON THE MENU.
Wait! True, we don't have Judge--yet--but would you settle for the next best thing?
76
TODD: What's that?
Executioner.
77
MRS. LOVETT: 'TIS A ROW DOW DIDDLE DOW DEE...
Nothing like a nice sit down, is there, dear, after a hard day's work?
Four and thruppence... four and eleven pence...
That makes seven pounds nine shillings and four pence for this week. Not bad--and that don't include wot I had to payout for this nice cheery wallpaper...
And a real bargain it was, dear, it only being partly singed when the chapel burnt down.
Mr. T., are you listening to me?
78
TODD: Of course.
Then what did I say, eh?
79
TODD: There must be a way to the Judge.
The bloody old Judge! Always harping on the bloody old Judge!
We got a nice respectable business now, money coming in regular and--since we're careful to pick and choose--only strangers and such like wot won't be missed---who's going to catch on?
80
TODD: Yes, yes, I do, I do.
I've always had a dream--ever since I was a skinny little slip of a thing and my rich Aunt Nellie used to take me to the seaside August Bank Holiday... the pier... making little castles in the sand. I can still feel me toes wiggling around in the briny.
81
MRS. LOVETT: TO THE SEASIDE,
HOO! HOO!
BY THE BEAUTIFUL SEA!
Come on, dear. Give us a kiss.
Ooh, that was lovely. Now, Mr., you do love me just a little bit, don't you?
82
TODD: Of course.
Then how about it? Of course, there'd have to be a little visit to St. Swithin's to legalize things. But that wouldn't be too painful, would it?
83
TODD: I'll make them pay for what they did to Lucy.
Now, dear, you listen to me. It's high time you forgot all them morbid fancies. Your Lucy's gone, poor thing. It's your Nellie now. Here.
Have a nice bon-bon.
You know, it's seventeen years this Whitsun since my poor Albert passed on. I don't see why I shouldn't be married in white, do you?
84
TODD: A madhouse! A madhouse! Johanna is as good as rescued.
She is?
85
TODD: Where do you suppose all the wigmakers of London go to obtain their human hair?
Who knows, dear? The morgue, wouldn't be surprised.
86
TODD: Fogg's Asylum? Why not? For the right amount, they will sell you the hair off any madman's head--
And the scalp to go with it too, if requested. Excuse me, gentlemen, I'm out!
87
TOBY: I put the sold-out sign up, ma'am.
That's my boy.
Look dear! A lovely muffler and guess who it's for.
87
Coo, ma'am. For me?
Wouldn't you like to know!
88
TOBY: Oh, you're so good to me, ma'am. Sometimes, when I think what it was like with Signor Pirelli--it seems like the Good Lord sent you for me.
It just my warm heart, dear. Room enough there for all of God's creatures.
88
TOBY: You know, ma'am, there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. If there was a monster or an ogre or anything bad like that wot was after you, I'd rip it apart with my bare fists, I would.
What a sweet child it is.
89
TOBY: Or even if it was just a man...
A man, dear?
90
TOBY: A man wot was bad and wot might be luring you all unbeknownst into his evil deeds, like.
What is this? What are you talking about?
91
TOBY: NOTHING'S GONNA HARM YOU.
NOT WHILE I'M AROUND.
Of course not, dear, and why should it?
92
TOBY: NOTHING'S GONNA HARM YOU,
NO, SIR,
NOT WHILE I'M AROUND.
What do you mean. "a man"?
93
TOBY: DEMONS ARE PROWLING
EVERYWHERE
NOWADAYS.
And so they are, dear.
94
TOBY: I'LL SEND 'EM HOWLING,
I DON'T CARE.
I GOT WAYS.
Of course you do... What a sweet, affectionate child it is.
95
TOBY: NO ONE'S GONNA HURT YOU,
NO ONE'S GONNA DARE.
I know what Toby deserves...
96
TOBY: OTHERS CAN DESERT YOU--
NOT A WORRY--
WHISTLE, I'LL BE THERE.
Here, have a nice bon-bon.
97
TOBY: DEMONS'LL CHARM YOU...
NOT WHILE I'M AROUND.
What is this foolishness? What're you talking about?
98
TOBY: NOT TO WORRY, NOT TO WORRY...
I DON'T NEED TO, I WON'T EVER
HIDE A THING FROM YOU,
LIKE SOME.
Now Toby dear, haven't we had enough foolish chatter? Let's just sit nice and quiet for a bit. Here
99
TOBY: That! That's Signor Pirelli's purse!
What's that? What was that, dear?
100
TOBY: That proves it! What I've been thinking. That's his purse.
Silly boy! It's just a silly little something Mr. T. gave me for my birthday.
101
TOBY: Mr. Todd gave it to you! And how did he get it? How did he get iit?
Bought it, dear. In the pawnshop, dear.
102
TOBY: It was in Mr. Todd's parlor that the guvnor disappeared.
Boy and their fancies! What will we think of next! Here, dear. Sit by your Aunt Nellie like a good boy and look at your lovely muffler. How warm it's going to keep you when the days draw in. And it's so becoming on you.
103
TOBY: DEMONS'LL CHARM YOU...
NOT WHILE I'M AROUND
(fin.)
You know, dear, it's the strangest thing you coming to chat with me right now of all moments because, as I was sitting here with my needles, I was thinking: "What a good boy Toby is! So hard working, so obedient." And I thought...know how you've always fancied coming into the bakehouse with me to help bake the pies?
104
TOBY: Oh yes, ma'am. Indeed, ma'am. Yes.
Well, how about it?
105
TOBY: You mean it? I can help make 'em and bake 'em?
No time like the present, is there?
106
TOBY: Coo, quite a stink, ain't there?
Them steps go down to the old cellars and the whiffs come up, love. God knows what's down there--so moldy and dark. And there's always a couple of rats gone home to Jesus.
Now the bake oven is here.
107
TOBY: They're big enough, ain't they?
Hardly big enough to bake all the pies we sell. Ten dozen at a time. Always be sure to close the doors properly, like this.
Now here's the grinder
You see, you pop meat in and you grind it and it comes out here.
And you know the secret that makes the pies so sweet and tender? Three times. You must put the meat through the grinder three times.
108
TOBY: Three times, eh?
That's my boy/ Smoothly, smoothly. And as soon as a new batch of meat comes in, we'll put you to work.
109
TOBY: Me making pies all on me own! Coo!
Where are you going, ma'am?
Back in a moment, dear.
110
BEADLE: Mrs. Lovett! Mrs. Lovett!
Mr. Todd! Mr. Todd!
111
BEADLE: 'TIS A ROW DOW DIDDLE DOW DEE...
Oh, Beadle Bamford, I didn't know you were a music lover, too.
112
BEADLE: Good afternoon, Mrs. Lovett! Fine instrument you've acquired.
Oh yes, it's my pride and joy.
113
BEADLE: Well, ma'am I hope you have a few moments, for I'm here today on official business.
Official?
114
BEADLE: That's it, ma'am. You see, there's been complaints--
Complaints?
115
BEADLE: About the stink from your chimney. They say at night it's something foul. Health regulations being my duty, I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to let me take a look.
At the bakehouse?
116
BEADLE: That's right, ma'am.
But, it's locked and... and I don't have the key. It's Mr. Todd upstairs--he's got the key and he's not here right now.
117
BEADLE: When will he be back?
Couldn't say I'm sure.
118
BEADLE: What's that?
Oh, just my boy--the lad that helps me with the pies.
119
BEADLE: But surely he's in the bakehouse, isn't he?
Oh yes, of course. But you see... he's--well, simple in the head. Last week he run off and we found him two days later down by the embankment half-starved, poor thing. So ever since then, we locks him in for his own security.
120
BEADLE: Then we'll have to wait for Mr. Todd, won't we?
Oh yes, of course! Mr. Todd's gone down to Wapping. Won't be back for hours. And he'll be ever so sorry to miss you. Why, just the other day he was saying, "if only the Beadle would grace my tonsorial parlor I'd give him a most stylish haircut, the daintiest shave--all for nothing." So why don't you drop in some other time and take advantage of his offer?
121
BEADLE: Well, that's real friendly of him.
Back already! Look who's here, Mr. T., on some foolish complaint about the bakehouse or something. He wants the key and I told him you had it. But...
...there's no hurry, is there, sir? Why don't you run upstairs with Mr. Todd and let him fix you up nice and pretty there'll be plenty of time for the bakehouse later.
122
BEADLE: Well... tell me. Mr. Todd., do you pomade the hair? I dearly love a pomaded head.
Pomade? Of course! And a nice facial rub with bay rum too. All for free!
123
TODD: I am, sir, entirely at your--disposal.
Let's hope he can do it quietly. But just to be on the safe side, I'll provide a little musical send-off.
124
TODD: It's done.
Not yet it isn't! The boy, he's guessed.
125
TODD: Guessed what?
About Pirelli. Since you weren't here, I locked him in the bakehouse. He's been yelling to wake the dead. We've got to look after him.
126
TODD: But the Judge is coming. I've arranged it.
You--worrying about the bloody Judge at a time like this!
Come on.
127
(Start of FINAL SCENE)
Die! Die! God in heaven--die!
You! Can it be? How all the demons of Hell come to torment me!
Quick! To the oven.
128
TODD: Why did you scream? Does the Judge still live?
He was clutching, holding on to my skirt, but now---he's finished.
129
TODD: Leave them to me. Open the doors.
No!
130
TODD: Open the doors, I say!
No! Don't touch her!!
131
TODD: What is the matter with you? It's only some meddling old beggar--
Oh no, oh God... "Don't I know you?" she said....
You knew she lived. From the moment that I walked into your shop you knew my Lucy! Lived!
I was only thinking of you!
132
TODD: LUCY...
Your Lucy! A crazy hag picking bones and rotten spuds out of alley ashcans! Would you have wanted to know that was all that was left of her?
