Counseling Techniques
Assure Observe Listen with Empathy Clarify Respond Filter Teach Point to God
Assurance
Try to connect
establish difference between confidentiality and anonymity
Observe
Body Language
Visual Contact
Posture
Gestures
Listen with Empathy
- Attend to the needs of the counselee and what he/she is communicating
- Understand
- Detect verbal/nonverbal messages
- Avoid judging
Ways to motivate the counelee is to assist him/her in
- Paraphrasing
- Focusing on feelings
Clarify
Help put concerns into counselee’s own words
-What is the problem? Who? What? Why? When? How
Respond
- Direct Conversation
- Ask
- Confront
- Inform
- Encourage
Filter
- What does the counselee really want?
- What are short/long term needs?
Teach
- Share information
- Present alternatives
Point to God
Jesus:
- Walk alongside
- Ask questions
- Listened
- Confronted
- Talked
Tension Definition
Any situation that forces us to make adjustments and often creates physical and mental pressure
Benefits of Tension
- forces people to act upon problems
- motivates learning
- makes us work harder
- teaches us new lessons
Dangers of Tension
PHYSICAL
- exhaustion
- illness
- interference with healing
Dangers of Tension
PSYCHOLOGICAL
- memory
- patience
- effectiveness
- irritability
Dangers of Tension
SPIRITUAL
- spiritual blocks
- detours thinking
- takes away from prayer & reading of scripture
- withdrawal from God
Managing Stress
- relaxation
- understand the problem (root of tension)
- measures taken in the past (those that worked and didn’t)
- Reality check (acceptance, change, move on)
- Connection with family, friends, church
- Spiritual support (pray with them, journey with them)
- follow up
Anxiety (definition)
feeling of threats, apprehension, fear and concern
Difference between anxiety and fear
Anxiety: feeling of apprehension whose root cannot be properly identified
Fear: Response consciously to a real threat
Symptoms of an anxiety disorder
Feelings of Panic
Problems sleeping
Cold/Sweaty hands
Heart palpitations
Philippians 4:6-9 approach to counseling (Anxiety)
v. 6 (don’t be anxious about anything - don’t detain anxious thoughts)
v. 6 (Let your requests be made known to God - change your focus)
v. 6 (Prayer & Supplication - seek adaptation skills)
v. 6 (with thanksgiving - realistic assessment)
v. 8 (consider what is true, honorable, noble, excellent…. - restructure thinking)
v. 8 (whatever is lovely, commendable, excellent, praise worthy - visual imagination)
v. 9 (put into practice - adaptation skills)
Anger
a profound feeling of tension and aggression (emotion that agitates our being)
Greek words used to define anger
Orge - holy discontent/wrath
Parorgismis - bitter and exasperated irritation
Thumus - throbbing irritation (explosion of tense hostility)
Dangers of prolonged anger
High Blood Pressure Heart attack digestive problems muscular pain psychological problems
Walls created by prolonged anger
isolation & loneliness
damage to spiritual life
How counselor can help alleviate anger
- Help counselee admit angry feelings
- Help redirect anger
- Help in the reasoning process
- discuss activities that will help release angry energy
