Week 11: Maintaining & Repairing Relationships Flashcards
How does satisfaction vary in romantic relationships?
Satisfaction declines over time
But there’s substantial variation around the average trajectory
How does martial satisfaction vary between couples?
About half of the couples’ martial satisf. stay stable
Those who start lower than average decline more quickly
What are relationship maintenance mechanisms?
Strategic actions people take to sustain their partnerships
One conceptualisation of trust is that…
It depends on the partner’s 1) predictability, 2) dependability, 3) faith
Predictability and dependability is contingent on…
Past experiences with the person
Faith is…
Correlated with predictability and dependability
May come from how trusting of other people in general
Trust can also take the form of…
Both automatic and controlled processes
How do committed vs. uncommitted people behave in r/s?
People who are committed to a partnership (i.e. who want and expect it to continue) both THINK and BEHAVE differently than less committed partners do
–> Cognitive and behavioural maintenance mechanisms
What are some cognitive maintenance mechanisms?
- Cognitive interdependence (we vs. I/you)
- Positive illusions (idealise partner by enhancing positive qualities and diminishing negative qualities)
- Perceived superiority
- Inattention to alternatives
- Derogation of tempting alternatives
What are some behavioural maintenance mechanisms?
- Willingness to sacrifice
- Michelangelo phenomenon (How you are sculpting your partner’s ideal self of themselves i.e. make them the best person they want to be)
- Play (Novel and exciting activities, self-expansion)
- Forgiveness/accommodation
What is the Michelangelo phenomenon?
When our partners behave toward us in ways that encourage us to gradually become the people that we want to be
What is accommodation?
The willingness to control the impulse to respond in kind to a partner’s provocation and to instead respond constructively
How does commitment and willingness to sacrifice relate?
People who are highly committed are especially likely to sacrifice
But this effect reverses when the sacrifice poses an EXISTENTIAL THREAT TO THE R/S
What is the manipulation in the existential threat study?
Threat manipulation (low vs. high)
What are the results for the existential threat study?
Low threat to r/s:
- High commitment > Low commitment, showed more support for partner’s goal
High threat to r/s
- Low commitment > High commitment, showed more support for partner’s goal
What are the takeaways from the existential threat study?
We might not sacrifice when the r/s interest is at stake
We usually think partner’s interest is aligned with r/s interest, but sometimes they can be misaligned
What are the moderators for the association between sacrifice and satisfaction?
- Communal orientation
- Approach vs avoidance reasons
How do more (vs. less) communally oriented people feel about the sacrifices they’ve made for their relationship?
- People who are MORE (vs. less) COMMUNALLY ORIENTED toward their partner tend to feel happier, more appreciated, and more satisfied after making a sacrifice
- This effect is driven in part by the sacrifice feeling MORE AUTHENTIC (true to oneself)
How do people feel about the sacrifices they’ve made for their relationship for approach vs. avoidance reasons?
Ppl feel better about sacrifices they make for APPROACH reasons than for avoidance reasons
What is derogation of alternatives?
Ppl evaluate attractive alternatives as less desirable
What is inattention to alternatives?
Ppl shift their attention away from attractive alternatives
What are the results of the dating service study (1989)?
Moderately appealing target: Low and high commitment do not differ in attraction
Highly appealing target: Low commitment > High commitment, greater attraction to alternative partner
What are the results of the motivated inattention study?
- Slower disengagement from photos of attractive other-sex people predicted infidelity in the first 3 years of marriage
- 100 ms faster predicted a 50% reduction in infidelity likelihood
Attention to attractive other-sex faces -> Infidelity -> Relationship dissolution
What are the effects of using relationship maintenance mechanisms?
Partners who routinely engage in these activities are happier than those who work less hard to maintain their partnerships
However, the effects of these actions are short-lived, and ppl apparently need to KEEP DOING THEM in order for them to be beneficial
