13 Ways To Screw Up Your College Interview Flashcards
(7 cards)
13 ways to screw up your college interview:
BRETT: Okay, Okay! I’m totally on it, I’m on it, trust me. I’m gonna push my five a o’clock to six, my Tuesday to Friday, and flip another thing with a thing I got next month so don’t worry about it.
INTERVIEWER 2: Excuse me-
BRETT: Yeah, yeah, yeah, hold on. (To Interviewer) I’ll be done in a few, I’m so grateful for your patience, I can’t express that enough. We’re gonna have a great convo, I can feel it. (back to phone) Okay chief, I gotta wrap this up. I’m psyched, I’m hungry, I’m pumped, we’re gonna blow this out of the water and blow people’s minds. Mañana.
BRETT hangs up
BRETT: Again, appreciate your patience and your general attitude! You’re an ace in the hole. Uhp! Una momento!
BRETT takes out phone
Ah, it’s my broham, Marty. He’s such a jerk. I just gotta (Starts texting:) ‘Put your money where your mouth is, Marty Mar. No Doubt!’ Ah! Marty. Love ‘em but wouldn’t trust him with a pencil, know what I mean? Okay! Let’s do this thing!
Interviewer: You’re Brett? You’re thirty minutes late.
BRETT: I know, I know, I got caught up in a conference call, a nightmare lunch meeting…and this girl I’m dating… blah blah blah…you know.
Interviewer: Well, alright…I guess-
BRETT: You know what? I’m gonna take the reigns here and skip the whole ‘You ask questions part.’ So here’s me: I’m a self-motivator, I’m extremely competitive, and I’m the life of the party. I like your school’s aggressive economic program, its ties to Harvard Business school, and its Greek social scene. Gonna pledge Aplha-Phi-Beta, or Delta-Kai-Delta….depending on the pledge class. My starts are well above your average so let’s make it happen. If you’re in the boat, I’m driving the ship. We good?
Interviewer: No. Not at all.
BRETT: Cranberries, baby! (fist bump, answer phone) Whattup buttercup! Yeah, I just had to do this lame face-to-face, I’m on my way. Kidding me, nailed it! It’s the Brettster you’re talking about here.
