Check Please

Question 1

(Brandon and Girl are mid-laugh)

Answer 1

BRANDON: I didn’t even-

Question 2

Girl: -I know-

Answer 2

BRANDON: – I mean seriously??

Question 3

Girl: –I know!

Answer 3

BRANDON: Hey so– all joking aside…this is fun! I’m having a good time.

Question 4

Girl: Yeah, it’s been great!

Answer 4

BRANDON: hasn’t it? wow

Question 5

Girl: Aw – there’s a fly in my water

Answer 5

BRANDON: Gross! Take mine. (looking off) Excuse me, another water?

Question 6

Girl: You are so sweet.

Answer 6

BRANDON: Ah c’mon

Question 7

Girl: No really!

Answer 7

BRANDON: Anyone would do that.

Question 8

Girl: You’d be surprised. With my dating luck…

Answer 8

BRANDON: Really? but you’re so fun. And gorgeous

Question 9

Girl: Oh please.

Answer 9

BRANDON: YOU are Jamie.

Question 10

Girl: What?

Answer 10

BRANDON: What?

Question 11

Girl: Who?

Answer 11

BRANDON: What?

Question 12

Girl: Who’s Jamie?

Answer 12

BRANDON: What do you mean??

Question 13

Girl: You just called me Jamie. Who’s Jamie? (Brandon fidgets)
Girl: Is it your girlfriend?

Answer 13

BRANDON: No.

Question 14

Girl: Who is she?

Answer 14

BRANDON: Oh no: he.

Question 15

Girl: he?

Answer 15

BRANDON: He.

Question 16

Girl: You’re gay?

Answer 16

BRANDON: No! Well, yes. But Jamie’s my agent. I’m an actor.

Question 17

Girl: You’re gay.

Answer 17

BRANDON: Yeah.

Question 18

Girl: And why am I on a date with you?

Answer 18

BRANDON: Okay, here’s the deal: I got cast as Stanley in a local production of Streetcar, and since I’m a method-actor, I can’t understand the part until I method-act straight.

Question 19

Girl: method-act.

Answer 19

BRANDON: Yeah. I can’t be Stanley Kowalski until I experience firsthand what it feels like to court a lady.

Question 20

Girl: So let me walk through this:

Answer 20

BRANDON: Sure!

Question 21

Girl: I got myself ready for this date –

Answer 21

BRANDON: Yup!

Question 22

Girl: Drove all the way downtown –

Answer 22

BRANDON: Uh huh!

Question 23

Girl: – and then felt optimistic that I’d finally met a good guy –

Answer 23

BRANDON: Oh thanks!

Question 24

Girl: – and all of this just so you could get a better feel for being straight

Answer 24

BRANDON: You don’t MIND, right?

Question 25

GIRL THROWS WATER IN HIS FACE

Answer 25

BRANDON: Oh my god. That was perfect! The ultimate heterosexual dating moment! I'm in! I'm straight! STELLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA --

Question 26

GUY: So what do you do for a living?

Answer 26

MIMI: [Pulling something heavy with a rope]

Question 27

GUY: You pull rope. Look, I respect your profession. Sort of. To be honest, I didn't know mimes were still a thing. Either way, I don't see why you'd bring your work to a date.

Answer 27

MIMI: [Battling against harsh winds]

Question 28

GUY: Yea, quite the storm in here.

Answer 28

MIMI: [Picks up imaginary menu and peruses the pages]

Question 29

GUY: Okay, I'm gonna hit the men's room. (GUY gets up and picks up his jacket)

Answer 29

MIMI: [You're going to drive away waving bye-bye?]

Question 30

GUY: No, I'm not leaving. I'm taking my jacket with me because...it might get cold

Answer 30

MIMI: [Jumps in-front of GUY]

Question 31

GUY: No, no, you stay here.

Answer 31

MIMI: [I'll feed these chickens]

Question 32

GUY: I don't know what that is... (goes to leave)

Answer 32

MIMI: [Jumps in front of GUY with a big mime smile, the following is very frantic for MIMI]

Question 33

GUY: Oh, how about this... (looking up): Oh no! A box!!

Answer 33

MIMI: [Where?! Where??]

Question 34

GUY: A huge, glass box, falling from the sky!!

Answer 34

MIMI: [Oh no it's about to land on me!!]

Question 35

GUY: Noooooo...

Answer 35

MIMI: [I am trapped inside a box!]