Communication and Perception

Question 1

What is the interpersonal gap?

Answer 1

Gap between what the sender intends to communicate and what the listener perceives.

(senders intentions differ from the effect on the receiver)

Question 2

When is the interpersonal gap common?

Answer 2

In close relationships- we tend to assume that a partner understands us (don’t expect misunderstandings), and may not work as hard to check that we’re on the same page

Question 3

Interpersonal gap:
Sender

Answer 3

Sender’s intentions: what the sender wishes to convey

Private to sender → encode into verbal and non-verbal actions that are public and observable

Possibly interfered by: sender’s mood, social skills, distractions in environment

Question 4

Interpersonal gap:
Receiver

Answer 4

Decode speaker’s actions

Ultimate effect on receiver is again private, only known to him/her

Possibly interfered by: sender’s mood, social skills, distractions in environment

Question 5

Power of Non-Verbal Communication
- what is communication?
- what does non-verbal behaviour do?
- what is it typically?
- when verbal and non-verbal discrepant…

Answer 5

• Communication is multimodal: people can say only one word at a time, yet they can send numerous cues (simultaneously).
• Non-verbal behaviour for example helps to provide more information that helps interpreting someone message/actions. Helps regulate interactions, e.g., show engagement or disengagement.
• Typically less controlled.
• So when verbal and non-verbal discrepant: the truth behind one’s words usually lies in their non-verbal communication

Question 6

Power of Non-Verbal Communication
What + examples

Answer 6

Numerous different channels through which information can be transmitted

• Eyes & gazing (eye contact)
• Body movements (e.g., hand gestures, posture)
• Paralanguage (e.g., pitch, volume)
• Interpersonal distance= how physically close we are (e.g., intimate zone = 0” to 18”, friends in personal zone = 1.5 to 4 feet)

Question 6

Facial expressions
1- what do they convey?
2- what can they be? (4 things)
3- but…

Answer 6

1- Convey mood & emotion

2- Can be controlled:
- Intensify (amplify): we appear to be experiencing stronger feelings than we really are.
- minimise (suppress)
- neutralise: hide/withhold from showing true emotions all together
- mask: show different emotion

3- But: hard to control, truth often leaks out (if only just for a half a second): microexpressions (authentic flashes of our real emotions) (Yan et al., 2013)

Question 7

Verbal communication
- what is it?
- vital part of?
- involved in?

Answer 7

Verbal communication – what we say with our words

• Vital part of communication
• Extensively involved in developing closeness

Question 8

Verbal communication: Self-disclosure
Aron et al. (1997)

Answer 8

A lab experiment to generate closeness:
- Participants randomly paired up
- Answer fixed set of questions
- Questions started like this “Given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you want as a dinner guest?” but slowly they got more personal such as “If you could go back in your life and change any one experience, what would it be and why?”

The experiment lasts 45 minutes, so you know a lot of personal details about each other. What would happen? Would you like the other person more than you would have if the two of you had just shared small talk for the same amount of time? YES

Question 9

Verbal communication: Self-disclosure
Findings

Answer 9

Revealing personal information to someone else generates closeness (Aron et al., 1997)

We tend to like people who disclose personal information to us

And we also like people more after we have disclosed
(Slatcher, 2010)

Question 10

Verbal communication: Self-disclosure
Sprecher, 2021
Study and results

Answer 10

Procedure:
Aron’s 36 questions to generate closeness (also called “fast-friends procedure”) used and replicated

Randomly pairing pp’s up and answering these 36 questions to each other and she compared the closeness that participants felt toward their partner afterwards with two other conditions in which pairs engaged in small talk, answering more superficial, less deep questions, and also a condition in which the pairs’ conversation was unstructured.

Results:
- Participants in closeness generation task felt closer than those engaging in small-talk or unstructured getting-acquainted task
- Mode of communication (face-to-face vs. video-chat) didn’t matter

Question 11

What can be risky, what is suggested?

Answer 11

Saying too much too soon can be risky, as it can violate others’ expectations and can even burden others. Rather, partners tend to be better off being somewhat patient and taking turns in disclosing (not one holding a long monologue) so they can patiently discover the level of disclosure each prefers, and perhaps the generation of closeness that comes with it.

Question 12

What is closeness developing based on?

Answer 12

1. Meaningful disclosure
2. Other responds with interest and empathy
3. Other perceived as responsive

(Reis & Shaver, 1988)

Question 13

Responsiveness
1) _______ of one _______ by another
2) perceive_____
3) basis of _____

Answer 13

1- Attentive and supportive recognition of one person’s needs and interests by another

2- Perceived partner responsiveness
- Feeling understood
- Feeling valued, respected, and validated
- Feeling cared for

3- Basis of secure, well-functioning, and highly satisfying relationships

Question 14

Interpersonal Gap
How accurate are we typically in “reading” other people’s experiences, intentions, behaviours?

Answer 14

Nater & Zell have reviewed many different research findings and concluded that people can be “moderately” accurate in perceiving each other, with on average a correlation of .32 between what one person reports and what another observes (but this can vary greatly). So this still leaves a lot of room for interpretation:

But there will inevitably be room for interpretation, that can be biased and shape how we perceive others and behave towards them.
For example, when someone makes an effort to behave responsively towards us, do we perceive their behaviour as such?

Question 15

Perceptions & Related Social Cognitive Processes
3 main things

Answer 15

1. The attributions we make
2. Positive illusions – seeing through rose-coloured glasses
3. Individual differences in relationship beliefs

Question 16

Definition of attributions

Answer 16

Explanations we use to understand each other’s behaviour

(the reasons we attribute to why our partner does something)

Question 17

Attribution examples

Answer 17

• being bumped into- some people will assume it’s an accident and others will immediately get angry because they see it as a hostile act by the other person.
• Imagine your partner buys you flowers, you could make many different types of attributions for this.
• …we had a fight”
  …he loves me”
  …he is a loving partner”

Question 18

Attributions- way of categorising the acts?

Answer 18

Internal (cause is due to the person)

External (cause is due to something else)

Question 19

Relationship Attributions

Answer 19

How do you explain good vs. bad behaviour?

How do these attributions influence the way you feel?

When in romantic relationships, we’re constantly making attributions for why our partners behaved or treated us in a particular way.

So when our partners do something nice for us or say or do something mean to us, to what do we ATTRIBUTE their behaviour and how do these attributions make us FEEL?

Question 20

Explaining good behaviour
Example + explanation

Answer 20

Your partner brings you a box of chocolates for no particular reason.

Internal attribution: S/he always knows just what to get me – s/he is so thoughtful!

External attribution: S/he got them from someone at work today and is just re-gifting them to me.

Question 21

Explaining bad behaviour
Example + explanation

Answer 21

Your partner snaps at you for being 5 minutes late.

Internal attribution: S/he is such an impatient and irritable person.

External attribution: S/he must have had a really hard day at work.

So, again, just like in the previous example, the BEHAVIOR in the two situations is the same, but my attribution for why my partner acted in the way that he did can really impact how I feel.
If I feel like he’s an irritable person, I’m likely to not have a lot of sympathy for him – he always does this and I’m sick of it. But if I think that he snapped at me because of something due to the situation, I’m likely to have more sympathy for him and not take his behaviour personally.

Question 22

Attributions:
1- what influences attributions of partners’ behaviour?
2- how do satisfied people make attributions for partners good/ bad behaviour?
3- how do unsatisfied people make attributions for partners good/ bad behaviour?

Answer 22

1- Satisfaction influences attributions of partners’ behaviour

2- Satisfied people make internal attributions for partners’ good behaviour, external for partners’ bad behaviour

3- Unsatisfied people make external attributions for partners’ good behaviour, internal for partners’ bad behaviour

Question 23

Attributions:
1- what do attributions affect?
2- explain relationship enhancing
3- explain distress maintaining

Answer 23

1- Those attributions also affect satisfaction

2- Relationship enhancing- People who make internal attributions for partners’ good behaviour, external attributions for partners’ bad behaviour become happier.

(help maintain relationship satisfaction by giving partners credit for their kindnesses and explaining away their misbehaviour)

3- Distress maintaining- People who make external attributions for partners’ good behaviour, internal attributions for partners’ bad behaviour become more unhappy.

(used by unhappy partners to explain one another’s behaviour in ways that maintain their distress)

Question 24

When are positive illusions most present?

Answer 24

In the early stages of relationships, when partners can be very passionately in love and are very satisfied in their relationship, perhaps not having much conflict (yet).

Question 24

Positive illusions:
1- emphasise?
2- difference between judging partners vs themselves?

Answer 24

1- Emphasise partners’ positive qualities, minimise faults

2- Judge partners more favourably than they judge themselves

Question 25

What are the advantages of positive illusions?

Answer 25

• Related to increased relationship satisfaction and stability
• Give benefit of the doubt
• Minimises conflict
• Partner feels good and more secure

Question 26

Positive illusions:
Partners fulfilling prophecy

Answer 26

Our partners may “live up” to our idealised image of them

Question 27

Are positive illusions always beneficial?

Answer 27

• Depends on how unrealistic illusions are
• Minor illusions smooth social interaction, major illusions minimise problems
• Partner’s may feel pressure to ‘live up to ideals
• Can’t live up to, feel can’t trust, maybe think is lying or trying to manipulate, not understood
• feel they aren’t really seeing you, that they are really in love with an “illusion”
• And being viewed in an idealised manner may sometimes contradict with our need to feel confirmed or verified for who we are.’

Question 28

Self-verification meaning

Answer 28

Feeling/ knowledge that this person wants to be with me even though they know my true self

Question 29

In what situations are positive illusions more beneficial than self-verification?

Answer 29

When relationships are new (e.g., dating or newly married couples)

Question 30

In what situations is self-verification more beneficial for relationships than positive illusions?

Answer 30

• Longer term relationships – feeling understood
• When it is related to aspects of self-concept that very important

Question 31

Beliefs definition

Answer 31

Ideas or theories about what the world is like

Question 32

Relationship beliefs:
Destiny beliefs vs growth beliefs

Answer 32

Destiny beliefs: people are either compatible or they are not

Growth beliefs: relationship challenges can be overcome

Question 33

Relationship Outcomes of Destiny Beliefs

Answer 33

• People with destiny beliefs are initially happier with their relationships
• But when faced with conflict, satisfaction declines
• Especially sensitive to signs that their relationship is “not meant to be”
• Disengage from the relationship when there is a problem

Question 34

Relationship Outcomes of Growth Beliefs

Answer 34

• People with growth beliefs are constructive, optimistic, and committed in the face of conflicts
• Fewer one-night stands, dating a partner for a longer period of time
• Try to maintain the relationship when there is a problem

Question 35

Destiny vs. Growth Beliefs
What are they associated with?

Answer 35

Destiny beliefs can be associated with lower satisfaction when couples face challenges.

Growth beliefs tend to be associated with more satisfaction overall because they may help couples work through challenges.

Question 36

How is it quite challenging to close or even just narrow the gap?

Answer 36

Not in the least because we tend to expect others to be able to read what’s our minds – e.g., to know when (and why!) we’re upset – and while this is unrealistic, people tend to become e.g., combative (fighting) or give silent treatment, so behave deconstructive (Wright & Roloff, 2015)

Question 37

Narrowing the gap

Answer 37

Don’t realise how bad we can be at reading people’s minds:

Studies on romantic partners and college roommates showed that as relationships progressed, accuracy did not increase, but (over) confidence did (Swann & Gill, 1997)

Question 38

Narrowing the gap: what is needed?

Answer 38

Need for communication!

Its very easy to misinterpret what others think, feel, or why they behave the way they do.

Question 39

What is the interpersonal gap?

Answer 39

The discrepancy between what is in one person’s mind, what is expressed, and what another person perceives or interprets them to think or feel

Question 40

“Egocentric simulations” (aka “projection”)
(Epley, 2008)

Answer 40

How we interpret others is mostly driven by how we ourselves would think, feel, and behave—what would motivate us, how we would feel in a situation, and how we would react.

Question 41

How does Epley’s review suggest we narrow the gap?

Answer 41

Time, effort, perspective taking (but still top-down biases that colour perceptions)

Actively encode information

Construe oneself at higher level of abstraction (see ourselves as we see others)- imagine how that person is seeing you