7 Habits of Highly Effective People Flashcards
What we see…
depends on our mental map: what is vs what should be
It also depends on what we seek (our desires and motivations)
We don’t see the world as it is, we
See the world as we are (the way we’ve been conditioned)
if you show one side of the room a flashing photo of a young woman, and the other side of an old woman, and then show both sides a composite of both photos, most will say it’s the one they were conditioned to see. When you have the communicate, they worked together to see both sides
the fasted way to install a new paradigm in someone is to
ask them to change their role: if you have a student become the teacher for a lesson, they then become a better student
Principles are the __, values are the __
territory / map
When we value correct principles, we value truth, things as they are. Principles are guidelines for human conduct proven to have enduring, fundamental, self-evident value.
Borrowing strength builds __ by __
weakness by making them dependent, and it builds weakness in the relationship, fear replacing cooperation; example: you borrow strength when you resort to force to influence someone
Kids will often share something once they
feel like what they have is theirs; a kid with a new toy doesn’t want to share because they haven’t made it their own yet ((so don’t let kids open presents etc when other kids are around, wait until after the party))
The way we see the problem
is the problem;
The more people look for quick fixes to their problems,
the more those quick fixes contribute to the problem
Trying to achieve maximum efficiency through independence
is like trying to play tennis with a golf club: the tool is not suited to the reality
__ is far more mature and advanced that independence.
Interdependence;
If you are physically interdependent, you are self-reliant and capable, but you also realize you can achieve far more by working with others. If you are emotionally interdependent, you derive self-worth from yourself, but you also realize the need for love, giving, and intimacy. If you are intellectually interdependent, you realize you need the best thinking of other people to challenge and join with your own. You connect deeply and meaningfully with others.
__ is a choice only __ people can make
Interdependence / Independent
Between stimulus and response lies…and in that __
our power to choose
And in that choice, our degree of happiness.
No matter what others do to you,
you choose your mind set.
between stimulus and response, we have
- self-awareness
- imagination (ability to create our reality)
- conscience (deep awareness of right and wrong, the principles that govern our behavior)
- integrity (our sense to which the degree of our thoughts and actions are in harmony with these principles)
- independent will (the ability to act based on our self awareness, free of all other influences)
Because of these unique human endowments (found between stimulus and response),
we can rewrite our programming and choose how we respond
Our greatest power:
The freedom to choose
Being proactive means:
more than taking initiative, it means we are responsible for our own lives.
Our behavior is a function of our __, not our __
decisions, not our conditions
Reactive people are affected by their
physical environment, the weather, external conditions,
Proactive people carry their own
conditions with them, their own weather.
Proactive people choose to
react to a stimulus with a value-based, intentional response
The greatest harm is the __ in response to __
hurt we do to ourselves in response to the harm we perceive to be done to us by others
Begin with:
the end in mind.
Create your __; based on __
center: based on principles, not your spouse, kids, groups, work, money, enemies, etc
By centering our life on correct principles, universal, timeless and self-evident,
we create a solid foundation for four life-support factors. Our security comes from the fact that correct principles do not change, unlike that based on other centers. Principles don’t react to anything, don’t get mad or behave like humans.
Your paradigm center is the source from which
all your choices, attitudes and behaviors flow.
If your boss needs you to work late, but you have plans with your wife for a concert, a spouse center will make you want to go to the concert to please your wife, or you’re worry about your wife will having to work, or if you’re pleasure centered you don’t care about the work you want to enjoy the concert, or if your enemy centered you’ll stay to beat out that colleague you hate, if you’re money centered you’ll stay for the hours and the good look for promotion etc.
A principle center will try to take in
all factors for consideration and make the choice that needs to be made.
You’re not making the decision based on pressures, but factually and knowledgeably.
Your decision is based on predictable, long term results. What you choose contributes to your ultimate values in life. Interdependently, you’ll communicate your decision to your wife and your boss.
Forms of programming:
affirmation and visualization
A good affirmation has 5 ingredients:
personal, positive, present-tense, visual, emotional
Without involvement,
there’s no commitment.
For businesses, involve your employees in your mission
Habit 1:
Be proactive
Habit 2:
Begin with the end in mind
Habit 3:
Put first things first
Habit 3 is the natural emergence of the first two because
Putting first things first is the exercise of independent will towards being principle centered, the day in day out doing it
Time management means
you organize and execute around priorities
Manage time by spending more time with __ and less with __, because__
Important problems / and less with urgent problems because you learn to prevent the urgent.
Successful people are __ minded, not __
Opportunity minded, not problem-minded
See problems as opportunities to explore, such as making a business that solves that problem for others
You can be efficient with __, not __. Give __, don’t __
Things, not people.
Give people their time, don’t treat them like things.
How the first three habits work together:
If habit 1 says you’re the programmer, and habit 2 says write the program, then habit 3 says run the program.
Live the program.
Deposit 1: (Of 6 Major deposits that build the emotional bank account):
Understand the other person.
When you spend time together, what might be a deposit for you might not be one for the other. Know what he/she likes. Make what is important to them as important to you as the other person is to you.
Deposit 2: (Of 6 Major deposits that build the emotional bank account):
Tend to the little things.
As these are the big things.
Our tendency is to project from our own __ what we think __
notes on deposit 1
autobiographies what we think other people want or need (projecting our intentions on the behavior of others)
If you do something nice for someone in front of another person,
(notes on deposit 2)
Make sure you do something nice for the other person, or let them know you’d do the same for him if he was in that situation.
For example, you could take your little kids out for a great night, but at the end when you wrap your coat around one that is cold, the other might be hurt and not talk to you before bed, wanting to know if you’d do the same for him or her.
We’re all more or less the same, all with a heart, even below the most rugged exterior.
Deposit 3: (Of 6 Major deposits that build the emotional bank account):
Keep commitments.
Peeping a promise is a major deposit, breaking one is a major withdrawal.
