Chapter 8 Flashcards

1
Q

How have our beliefs about marriage/love change?

A

Ppl have only began to consider love to be a requirement for marriage only a few decades ago.

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2
Q

How did the greeks epitomize platonic love?

A

Described it as nonsexual adoration of a beloved person that was epitomized by love between 2 men.

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3
Q

When did heterosexual love take on a more positive connotation?

A

During 12th century when there were courtly loves- but passionate love occured happened between already married ppl.

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4
Q

Why has the enthusiasm for marrying for love most complete in NA?

A

Probs b/c of America’s individualism and economic prosperity (allowing ppl to move from parents) and its lack of a caste system/ruling cast.

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5
Q

Based on Sternberg’s proposal of the triangular theory of love what is the first component of love, which includes the feelings of warmth, understanding, trust, support and sharing that often characterizes loving someone?

A

Intimacy

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6
Q

Based on Sternberg’s proposal of the triangular theory of love what is the 2nd component of love, which includes physical arousal, desire, excitement and need?

A

Passion

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7
Q

Based on Sternberg’s proposal of the triangular theory of love what is the 3rd component of love, which includes feelings of permanence, stability, and the decisions to devote oneself to a relationship and to work to maintain it?

A

Commitment

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8
Q

Passion often takes the form of…

A

sexual longing- but any strong emotional need that is satisfied by one’s partner fits this category.

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9
Q

The heat in love relationships comes from ____ and the warmth from ___, and _____ can be a cool headed decision that is not emotional or temperamental at all.

A
  1. Passion
  2. Intimacy
  3. Commitment
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10
Q

If intimacy, passion and commitment are all absent no love occurs. Instead, you have a casual, superficial, uncommitted relationship b/w 2 ppl who are probs just acquaintances not friends

A

Nonlove

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11
Q

This occurs when intimacy is high by passion and commitment are both love. Occurs in friendships with real closeness and warmth that do not arouse passion or the expectations that you will spend forever together.

A

Liking. (If a person does arouse passion or is missed terribly when gone- this has developed past liking)

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12
Q

Strong passion in the absence of intimacy or commitment. What ppl experience when they are aroused by others they barely know.

A

Infatuation.

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13
Q

Commitment without intimacy or passion. May occur in burned-out relationships in W cultures. The decision to stay is the only thing that remains- but in other cultures this type of love may come first.

A

Empty love

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14
Q

When high intimacy and passion occur together. A combination of liking and infatuation.

A

Romantic love.

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15
Q

Intimacy and commitment combine to form love for a close partner. Closeness, communication, and sharing are coupled with substantial investment in the relationship as the partners work to maintain a deep, LT friendship.

A

Companionate love

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16
Q

Passion and commitment in the absence of intimacy. Can occur in a whirlwind courtships in which 2 partners marry quickly based on passion. but they don’t know the other well.

A

Fatuous love.

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17
Q

When intimacy, passion and commitment are all present to a substantial degree.

A

Consummate love.

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18
Q

What does Sternberg compare consummate love to?

A

It’s a lot like losing weight: easy to do for awhile but hard to maintain over time.

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19
Q

Of the 3 features of Sternberg’s love triangle- what is the most variable?

A

Passion. It is also the least controllable- so we may find our desires for others soaring and then evaporating rapidly in changes we cannot consciously control.

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20
Q

What biological systems does Helen Fisher argue that control components of love experiences?

A
  1. Lust- sex drive that is regulated by the sex hormones. It drives successful reproduction by providing is the motivation to mate with others.
  2. Attraction- this promotes the pursuit of a particular preferred romantic partner. This drives pair bonding by fuelling romantic love that is driven by dopa and brain areas that control reward.
  3. Attachment- comfort, security and connection to a LT mate that keeps a couple together long enough to protect their children.
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21
Q

What is the NT that explains the euphoric feeling behind love?

A

Dopamine. Romantic love also activates the area of the brain that are affected by pain relieving drugs- in tests ppl can shrug off pain when looking at a photo of a loved one.

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22
Q

A classic analysis of rom love by Elaine Hatfield and Ellen Berscheid proposed that passionate attraction is rooted in what 2 factors?

A
  1. Physiological arousal- eg. fast heartbeat
  2. The belief that another person is the cause of your arousal
    According to this theory, romantic love is produced/intensified when feelings of arousal are associated with the presence of another attractive person.
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23
Q

How do ppl define emotions? Why is this difficult to argue in terms of if romantic love is an emotion?

A

An organized response with particular characteristics. Many researchers consider emotions to result from specific events that cause discrete physio reactions and that elicit distinct patters of expressive behaviour and goal-oriented responses.
Emotions exist b/c they promote effective, adaptive responses to important recurring tasks. Romantic love should then have a concrete useful function and should occur in response to a particular stimuli, visible to others and have certain behavioural responses.
Most emotions are brief events

24
Q

Do the effects of arousal on attraction depend on the type of arousal? Give example

A

No! In a study men listened to dif types of movies (Neg arousal-murder. positive arousal- funny, no arousal- frog) then looked at a photo of a pretty women or average woman. Both groups who were aroused thought pretty women was more attractive and average women less.

25
Q

If arousal affects love than what NT affects love?

A

Adrenaline- thats why kissing after a fight is so good.

26
Q

What are 3 themes of the Love Scale

A
  1. Intimacy- same as sternberg’s theory defines it
  2. Dependence- longing for for partner
  3. Caring- want to take care of partner
27
Q

What is the dif b/w liking and loving?

A

ppl say they like their friends bc they are nice. Wth a partner they say they will do anything for them

28
Q

What is a major difference between friendship and love?

A

Love is blind- ppl underestimate or ignore their lovers’ faults.

29
Q

When shown pictures of attractive ppl and then asked to write an essay about their attractiveness or about a theoretical first meet up how do they write another essay about their love for their partner or sexual desire for their partner?

A

They can if they mentally rehearse their love for their partner. PPl were better able to distract themselves from the alternative when they envisioned their love for their partners than in the other 2 conditions.

30
Q

WHat does Elaine Aron’s self-expansion model suggest about love?

A

That love causes our self-concepts to expand and change as our partners bring us new experiences and new roles- and we gradually learn things about ourselves that we didn’t know before.
Eg. a study followed YA over 10w when they were falling in love. They found that their self-concepts became more diversified and their SE went up- making falling in love so delightful.

31
Q

What were the 2 most common answers for couples who had been dating for 15 years for why their marriages had lasted?

A
  1. I like my spouse as a person

2. My spouse is my best friend

32
Q

What NT is involved with the physio difference between companionate and romantic love?

A

The neuropeptide oxytocin

33
Q

What is a 3rd type of love that the triangle theory doesn’t account for?

A

Compassionate love

34
Q

What is compassionate love?

A

An altruistic care and concern for the WB of one’s partner. Combines the love and trust of intimacy with compassion and caring.

35
Q

Ppl who feel compassionate love feel what?

A

They tend to share the pain or joy that their loved ones feel. They are concerned with their WB.

Different than companionate love!!

36
Q

Where romantic love is ____, compassionate love is rooted in …

A

Rom love=blind
compassionate= rooted in more accurate understanding of our partner’s strengths and weaknesses- see their weaknesses but still love them

37
Q

The ____ lover finds good looks compelling and seeks and intense, passionate relationship.

A

Eros

38
Q

The ____ lover considers love to be a game and likes to play the field.

A

Ludus

39
Q

The ___ lover prefers friendships that gradually grow into lasting commitments.

A

Storge

40
Q

The ___ lover is demanding, possessive and excitable.

A

Mania

41
Q

The ___ lover is altruistic and dutiful

A

Agape

42
Q

The ____ lover is practical, careful and logical in seeking a mate.

A

Pragma

43
Q

All of the components of love described by the triangular theory are positively related to what 2 styles of greek/roman named love?

A

Eros and agape (Storge, mania and pragma have little in common with the triangle theory)

44
Q

What type of attachment style will most likely experience unreturned love?

A

Pre-occupied love. Most likely to occur between 16-20 and in males.

45
Q

The distinction between romantic love and companionate love is apparent in what cultures?

A

Both Western and eastern cultures.

46
Q

When describing falling in love what do we see in Americans vs Chinese?

A
Am= emphasize the similarity and good locks of their partners more than Ch
Ch= mention a desirable personality, others' opinions and their own phys arousal more than Am

*When in love, married couples in the US and China both beel compassionate caring and horny desire

47
Q

What is seen in later relationships when comparing US to China?

A

Romantic fantasies in the US. China acknowledges that one’s partner is baffling and incomprehensible- it’s a mixed blessing

48
Q

What type of attachment style is most associated with intimacy?

A

Secure

49
Q

What type of attachment style has the most fulfilling sex?

A

Secure

50
Q

What type of attachment style has the most commitment?

A

Secure ppl are the most commited.

51
Q

How does caring and caregiving interact with attachment styles?

A

Secure= best
Insecure= less effective and reassurance
High in avoidance= behave more negatively, sometimes get angry
Anxious= offer help but often do so selfishly, hoping to get approval

52
Q

What are differences in sexes in terms of love?

A

Very similar. But men tend to possess more romantic attitudes than women and fall in love faster. Women are more selective. Men believe more in love having to be passionate than women do.

53
Q

Worldwide, when do most divorces occur?

A

In the 4th year of marriage.

54
Q

What is the coolidge effect?

A

The effect of novelty on arousal. Eg. when introduced to a new female over and over, a male rat can ejaculate 3x more.

55
Q

3 important influences on romantic passion.

A
  1. Fantasy
  2. Novelty
  3. Arousal
56
Q

Do any couples continue to feel romantic love?

A

Yes- 40% say they still feel very intensely in love. The bottom line is that the burning love that gets ppl together to begin with often doesn’t last.

57
Q

Passion declines over marriage but…

A

Intimacy and commitment both increase as we age. So companionate love may be more stable than romantic love.