H2: Factors in the Way of Interpersonal Effectiveness

Question 1

What are some factors that get in the way of interpersonal effectiveness?

Answer 1

Factors that get in the way of interpersonal effectiveness include:

• You don’t have the interpersonal skills you need.
• You don’t know what you want.
• Your emotions are getting in the way.
• You prioritize short-term goals over, and forget about, long-term goals.
• Other people are getting in your way.
• Your thoughts and beliefs are getting in the way.

Question 2

What are some problems associated with not knowing what you want?

Answer 2

Problems associated with not knowing what you want include:

• You have the skills, but can’t decide what you really want from the other person.
• ‰‰You can’t figure out how to balance your needs versus the other person’s needs:‰‰
  
  • Asking for too much versus not asking for anything.
  • ‰‰Saying no to everything versus giving in to everything.

Question 3

What are some problems associated with emotions getting in the way of interpersonal effectiveness?

Answer 3

Problems associated with emotions getting in the way of interpersonal effectiveness include:

You have the skills… BUT emotions like the following control what you do:

• anger
• pride
• contempt
• fear
• shame
• guilt

Question 4

What are some problems associated with prioritizing short-term goals and forgetting about long-term goals?

Answer 4

Problems associated with prioritizing short-term goals and forgetting about long-term goals include:

• You put your immediate urges and wants ahead of your long-term goals.
• The future vanishes from your mind.

Question 5

What are some problems associated with other people getting in the way of your interpersonal effectiveness?

Answer 5

Problems associated with other people getting in the way of your interpersonal effectiveness include:

• You have the skills, but other people get in the way.
• ‰‰Other people are more powerful than you.
• ‰‰Other people may be threatened or may not like you if you get what you want.
• ‰‰Other people may not do what you want unless you sacrifice your self-respect, at least a little.

Question 6

What are some problems associated with your thoughts and beliefs getting in the way of your interpersonal effectiveness?

Answer 6

Problems associated with your thoughts and beliefs getting in the way of your interpersonal effectiveness include:

• Worries about negative consequences if you ask for what you want or say no to someone’s request get in the way of acting effectively.
• ‰‰Beliefs that you don’t deserve what you want stop you in your tracks.‰‰
• Beliefs that others don’t deserve what they want make you ineffective.