4 - Attraction, Self-Disclosure and Privacy Flashcards
Define: Attraction
- A force that draws people together
- Physical
- Social: Friends and family
- Task (instrumental goal)
- Sexual
- Fatal: once admirable qualities turn negative and we are no longer attracted
Define: Personal qualities
Name and year
What WE bring to the relationship
Kelley et al. 1983
- Reward value: our perception of the rewards we will get from a relationship; eg. fun, security, financial gain
- Expectations: determine what we notice and become a reality
- Biological: hormones and pheromones (sexual attraction)
Define: Personal qualities
Personality
Style of attachment:
- Secure
- Dismissive
- Fearful-avoidant
- Preoccupied
Influenced by childhood
Beliefs about relationship:
- Destiny and growth (first impressions and project)
Define: Personal qualities
Personality: Narcissism
- Exaggerated sense of self importance and focus on self at expense of others
- May have low self-esteem that’s why they leach on others
- Attracted to those that admire them
- Attracted to short-term attraction
Define: Qualities of the other
Name and year
Kelley et al. 1983
- Physical attractiveness
- More attractive = more sociable and successful
(HALO EFFECT) - Assimilation effect: rated more attractive when seen with attractive people
- Interpersonal communication:
- Warmth
- Sociability and competence
- Loss-gain: being mean the whole time is less of a loss if they suddenly turn mean
- Playing hard to get
Define: Characteristics of the pair
Name and year
Kelley et al 1983
- Similarity of attitudes: Birds of a feather flock together
- Complementarity: Opposites attract
Define: Self-disclosure
Revealing something about yourself, whether or not it is appropriate depends on how well you know someone
Eg. Scale of personal (body image), to romantic relationships (plans and emotion) to intimate (phobias, depression)
Define: Self-disclosure
Dimensions according to Social Penetration Theory
Depth and breadth
- Superficial (outside and public)
- Social and personal (friends and family)
- Intimate (seldom revealed)
Define: Self-disclosure
Dimensions according to Social Penetration Theory
Frequency and duration
- Limited term projects (low breadth and depth; high freq)
- “Stranger on plane” high depth and breadth but infrequent
- Online communication high disclosure (more likely to declare romantic intentions; rejection easier to accept)
- Can be frequent but short (co-workers) ; can be infrequent and long (long distance friends)
Define: Self-disclosure
Dimensions according to Social Penetration Theory
Valance and verocity
Valence: positive or negative aspects of information disclosed (works well with depth)
Eg. American’s disclose more negatives
Veracity: How honest or self-deceptive the content is
Eg. Tinder profile is high in valence and low in veracity
Define: Self-disclosure
Strategies
- Build into everyday conversation
- “Floating” = touching upon intimate topics to gauge response before full disclosure
- Inducing self-disclosure in another = encouraging reciprocation
Define: Self-disclosure
Risks
- Rejection
- Fear of retaliation or anger
- Fear of loss of control
- Fear of losing individuality
Define: Communication Privacy Management Theory
- Public private dialectal tension
- Owning private information
- Flexible rules and boundaries
- Shared boundaries when info is shared
- Boundary co-operation and co-ordination
- Boundary turbulence: changing and solidifying
Define: Topic avoidance and secrets
- Avoiding or keeping topics a secret
- Whole family, Intrafamily (within the family) and individual secrets
Define: Topic avoidance and secrets
Motivations
- Protecting relationships from destruction
- Identity management and privacy maintenance
- Unresponsive partners, unuseful discussions and inefficient communication
